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Carla’s Niche

Carla’s Letter Tapes

CAVEAT: Warning! These letters have not been edited by Carla. Expect errors.

Letter to B

March 22, 1990

Dear B,

I will do my best to help you with your questions. Some of these questions can be answered best in the growing trust and faith that you will have in your own guidance but I will do the best I can to encourage you in that awareness of yourself.

Thank you very much for your letters and your very kind words about our work. It is always heartwarming to know that the work that we’ve done in all humility has been of help to people.

It must have been quite a shock to your system to discover, as you were in the army, and especially as a Second Lieutenant, which means you had gone through officer’s training—gone through quite a bit of trouble to get where you were, that you could no longer kill.

Along those same lines I’m reminded of Don Elkins’ story (he’s no longer in this density)—but his war was the Korean War which he fought in Germany. He was blessedly sent where the fighting was not and never had to kill a single soul. But during a training camp after he came back from the war, he was plotting where cannons needed to set in order to reach a desired target. 155 mm guns he was talking about? Anyway, he was standing in the kind of army truck that has fabric over the top, but the fabric was off and they were using it as a base of operation setting up the guns for firing, and while they were working a ladybug fell off a leaf on a tree that hung over their truck and fell onto a plotting map that they were using. Don carefully took the bug and gently put it back on the leaf. His commanding officer, a captain, looked at him and said “What did you do that for?” And Don said “Well, I didn’t want to kill him and he was getting in the way of our map.” And the guy looked at him and said “I hope you don’t feel that way about people.”

Needless to say, he had no wish to kill anyone. I gather from your second letter that you were able to get your classification as a non-combatant, either that or newspaper writing and so forth has become a cruel art indeed. Congratulations on that.

As to your contact with your parents because of their negative affect on you, that’s something that will probably take a long time to work out, there’s a good deal of forgiveness that need to be done here—you need to forgive them, you need to forgive yourself, and you need to speak clearly with them before they leave this earth if you are to balance the energies that have been formed between you. Nothing happens by chance and it is to your benefit to realize that forgiveness stops the wheel of karma; that there is no sin that cannot be forgiven, no discomfort that cannot be accepted, no pain that cannot be open to consolation to one with an open heart and a desire to communicate.

This does not mean that you should rush off and do this now—you do this when you feel strong enough to do it. But because you do love them dearly it is important that they be aware of your love. Perhaps you cannot change their patterns, but you can balance your own. You can’t help anybody else really, you can only work on yourself. But it is something vital to realize that you are very much in charge of balancing the relationships in your life by virtue, not of any human ability, but by accessing to yourself the infinity of love and light of which the universe is made and which you breath in with every breath you take. The Creator is closer to you than that very breath. Love is available in every moment and it is available infinitely to one who is aware in the eternity that is present in the present moment. Time is an illusion, as is space, it is an illusion put here so we can learn some very important lessons and make some very important choices, the most important of which you have already made—you have chosen to be of service to others.

You are very intense in these letters and without wishing at all to seem harsh or critical I would strongly suggest to you that those who are of love and light are also merry and joyful. Lighten up. Forgive yourself. Love and light are their own protection and as you progress in living a life in faith, you’ll feel that more and more, and though I know it’s a deadly serious thing within this illusion to make the choices for service to others and for continuing in service to others to the greatest extent of your ability to polarize positively there is nothing quite as positive as merry, joyful laughter and sharing with others.

I’d like to address your concern about being a Wanderer. My best advise to you would be to forget it. Because whether you are a Wanderer or a person who has by seniority of vibration been able to claim an incarnation at this very important time, you are capable at this point of reaching harvest. Of balancing all that is unbalanced within you, of polarizing until you are of more service to others than yourself, that you think and care more about others than you do yourself.

When Wanderers come to this earth and enter incarnation, the veil is dropped before them just as the veil is dropped before any native son or daughter of this earth. Wanderers are immigrants and naturalized citizens of earth. Precisely the same rules apply to Wanderers as apply to natives. There is no special dispensation given to a Wanderer because of the background of other densities that Wanderers have experienced. A Wanderer has the same job to do, the same choices to make and has indeed, probably programmed for itself a fairly difficult incarnation because being a Wanderer, it has chosen to come back not only to be of service, but also to do some personal work.

This is the density of choice and many times a Wanderer will be less than pleased with the strength of the choices he has made and will wish to revisit this intense experience in this heavy chemical illusion of third density, so that he may declare himself with all free will as a person living in faith and faith alone.

A word or two about faith before I address the concept of how you find out about your path of service, because faith is integral to that concept.

Faith is, to my mind, and you realize that this is just my opinion, a thing entirely separate from what people call “belief,” which is to my mind a series of carefully worded tenants—statements that one must believe to be true and judge others who do not believe them to be true as those who have not yet seen the light.

I am not a fan of “belief,” which I find to be a very limiting concept. Of course, I am a mystic, and I am comfortable that life is a complete mystery. I am used to paradox—mystery and paradox are the very hallmarks of spiritual journeying. Not everyone is comfortable loving, worshiping and serving an unknown creator, for the Creator always will be mysterious until we finally return to our source and become that Creator, from whence we sprang so long ago. We worship an unknown Father. No one has the words, the wisdom, the knowledge to gain paradise or to describe the creator. What people have done throughout the ages is tell stories that one may take literally or mythically, or anywhere in between. These stories have, as their function, the engaging of a person’s deepest passions and love of the Creator, give the person a way to practice and to develop that love and to show it forth in service to humankind.

A path that does not create worship, adoration, love, joy, peace, and the realization that one is a servant to all as one serves the Creator and all are the Creator, is a path that is not really worth following because it does not get you where you want to go.

I personally, like you, am a Christian. This is the story that has engaged my deepest feelings. Jesus Christ is the Man and the Son of God whose story has shaped and orchestrated my particular path of learning about how to be spiritually conscious and therefore how to accelerate the process of spiritual evolution in myself by being of service to others.

I do not believe this or that. Force me to sign a paper that says I believe the virgin birth to be literally true, and I am left hanging. My mind is very intellectual, and I do not find it capable of blind belief. On the other hand, I find it capable of blind faith, that whatever the truth is, I may follow this story, love this particular savior with the greatest intensity I can muster, and learn by attempting to learn the mind of this great teacher, a way to be of service to the Creator and to the Creator is reflected in human kind.

Faith actually requires no one particular path. Faith is a thing in itself. It is a feeling that things are as they should be—that what is happening to you is what is supposed to be happening to you, that it is kindly and gently planned for your learning, for challenging you, for testing you, for giving you a chance to polarize toward service to others in each action and each choice that you make.

Faith is that faculty which forgives: yourself first, then everyone else, because we are but dust, we are all human, we are all bozos on this bus. We may channel wonderful things, but humankind itself lives and dies like a flower. It’s a very little life that we have, a very precious small parenthesis in eternity and we need to use it precious moment by precious moment—be as mindful as possible that we are in the presence of God even though we are dust.

Now, you want to know whether you are a Wanderer and feel that it’s important because you feel that only if you know this can you realize your full potential—only if you realize this will you, in some way of remembering, secondary to the knowledge of precisely what sort of Wanderer you are, know your path of service.

It doesn’t work like that. Not as far as I know. And again, I remind you, this is all opinion. Toss anything away that doesn’t work for you. My experience with service to others is that your path of service is directly in front of your face at this present moment. If you’re picking up some lint in dusting a table, then that’s your path of service to the Creator—it is as noble and glorious a service as any.

A good deal of your service comes from your consciousness—your being. That is the first and greatest service—that you BE. More and more hollowed out of any considerations about who you are, what you should do, whether you should be ambitious, that sort of thing. Abide in faith. Let yourself be hollowed out and empty and start listening and stop talking.

It is my experience that if there is a special mission for you to perform such as when we channeled the Ra Material, it will hit you over the head like a two by four. You don’t have to go looking for your path of service. Very few paths of service are dramatic like that. It just so happened that in my life I experienced a fairly dramatic path of service for a while about a decade ago, almost. I was channeling before then and I am channeling today, but it is that one contact that seems to have helped people the most. However, it has never occurred to me that that was my service. My service is right here and right now—it happens to be talking to you at this time doing as good a job as I can in sharing myself with you in a way that does not show you me, but that allows to shine through me the love and the light of the Infinite Creator. I, myself, am strictly a jerk. I make mistakes again and again, just like everybody else. But I live in faith.

People suffer because they fear the pain they are going through. People like you that want to know more and who want to change and be more, are going to be uncomfortable. Change is always uncomfortable. Why? Well, think of yourself as a kind of computer. When a program doesn’t work, it has to be dumped, it’s out of date, it has to go. There is a tremendous release of energy and pressure in dumping that old program. You may have a lot invested in that software—it may have served you well for a long time. Do you really want to let this go? Something inside you says “dump the program,” and you are changing. And a person on the spiritual path will constantly be changing, because the mystery of the creator recedes infinitely ahead of the seeker.

There is no ladder of knowledge to Heaven. There is only the dusty road of the pilgrim. You may sit by the side of the road any time you want to and rest, but the road is always there, and it will always call you once you have chosen to be a pilgrim and to be a servant of the one infinite Creator.

Having said that, let me address the way to get to know yourself better—the way to access new programming and that is meditation, which you have not formally done. You’re concerned about the dangers of meditation. Unless you are an extraordinary human being, there will be no dangers in your meditation except those that your mind and body throw up to you because they’re not used to sitting still and listening instead of talking.

When I started meditating back in 1962, I spent about six month having stomach aches and headaches—getting very sick every time I started to meditate. Within a half an hour I would be so sick I really couldn’t meditate any more. It was my body—restless—not understanding that I was asking it to be still and listen. I spent another several months, I don’t know how long any more, seeing the most frightening things. All my fears came to visit me, embodied as monsters as some kind or another. All the trash of the subconscious mind—all the bogeymen that we accept unknowingly into the shallow waters of our subconscious, that are blocking the way to any real communication with our true deeper selves started coming up. I just kept on—I knew somehow that this was the path for me and I think we kept on until these phenomena stopped occurring.

Now it doesn’t happen that way for everyone—some people are naturally more comtemplative and less likely to be active. I was a very active person until I was disabled. If there was something to volunteer for, I would volunteer. I constantly babysat—I was cooking by the time I was ten. I had a very dysfunctional family—two alcoholic parents. I took care of my brothers and really enjoyed it, but I was very active. I was the same way in school. I was never an “activist” though I was young during the time of the hippies—I tended to deal with people one at a time. That was the level I understood them on then and that’s the level I understand now. I don’t have a real feel for “mankind”—I don’t have any real desire to save the planet—I’m just interested in talking to you because you wrote me.

So as you sit down to meditate—say the Lord’s Prayer and then just follow your breath. Thoughts will come to you—don’t try to push them away just let them come and let them go. It may be a long time before you’re able to achieve silence—don’t let that worry you. Just follow your breath and when you find yourself having forgotten to follow your breath and listen, and you’re thinking about something, worrying about something, considering something, note that and let it go. It takes infinite patience but it’s worth it.

Meditation of the silent kind, waiting for the still small voice within to speak, tabernacling in the presence of the Infinite Creator, is the secret that unlocks the kingdom within the imperishable soul that you are and your own realization and guidance of who you are and what it is you shall do this day. You don’t have any worries as a spiritual entity about your life’s work. You have this moment in which to manifest the love of the Infinite Creator. And you can only do that by centering again and again in consciousness on that something within that’s silent but yet which speaks so deeply to you concepts of peace and faith and abiding and joy.

What experiences you will have, what parts of your body will tingle, it varies from person to person. Everyone has some kind of, what I have heard called “conditioning.” It is symptomatic of the fact that you are moving into an energy that your body actually does feel—higher energies are perceptible to the electrical body and they have different effects on different people—everything from the hair raising on the legs to the spontaneous tearing—I’ve seen people with tears just streaming down their faces, they’re not crying, their eyes are just watering. The (inaudible) effect is very common—the feeling of having a cap on your head or people feel their eyebrows sometimes moving around.

I’ve heard of all kinds of things, but they don’t mean anything. What’s meaningful is that you intend to listen to the still, small voice within you. Attempt to do this daily, and not for that long, because meditating too long is not a good idea for the person who has not done it for years and years. This is a very strong tool—use it consciously—I would say 20 minutes at most, once a day in the beginning. Then call to remembrance that feeling at various times of the day—when the clock strikes think “the Creator,” think “love.” When the noon whistle blows, think “love”—keep mindful and conscious of the Creator all during the day, and again at night if you wish to review the day.

Again say the Lord’s Prayer or whatever makes you feel that you have attained the tuning and the protection that you need and gaze over the day in your mind and look at the various ways that you felt and balance them mentally. Let yourself feel both sides of the feelings that you felt. If you felt happy—let yourself feel that sad side of things, because only then will you really appreciate happiness. If you’ve been impatient, or distressed, let peace descend on those feelings. Love does indeed cast out fear.

But it takes conscious awareness of who you are—what you’ve been doing that day. Be as daily as possible. These are not dangerous practices unless you start spouting some sort of channeling. Don’t do that. I always tell people not to do it except within the protection of the group with an experienced channel to guide you. Don’t start having conversations with some supposed “guide.” Stay in the silence because the Creator speaks in silence and humility and surrender. And so may you surrender to the faith of that guidance that does not speak in words because you will feel the love to do that which is lovely and loving.

I’m on to your second letter here—this is the P.S. from the first one: How does one balance the energy centers?

Well, I was talking about what you do when you review the day. You can do it in terms of the energy centers by identifying the blockages or the over-activity that cause the impatience or whatever, by naming the energy center involved. Most blockages of energy centers of people are orange ray, because relationships with themselves and with other people seem to hold front and center for most people.

The red ray center, just to capitulate briefly in a simple way, I know the Ra Material can get a little bit complex, is simply the things that keep you alive—flight or fight, reproduction, things like that. The desire to reproduce, in other words, the attraction for a lover, indiscriminate though it may seem to be, has no sin involved with it, as long as you don’t act upon it. It’s random—it’s part of your being radiantly alive, so claim your passion, don’t be afraid of it, don’t misuse it, value it, because it may, when given carefully and lovingly and in fidelity, be a most beautiful gift. So don’t chastise yourself because you feel attracted to somebody you don’t know or something like that. That’s usually what people worry about in balancing the red ray is that they acted falsely to themselves by lusting in their hearts. Well, guess what, join the human race because that’s what we do. If we didn’t we’d die out. You just don’t act on it, that’s all.

Then you have the orange ray which is the ray most people get stuck on. That is basically fear. Fear of being possessed. Desire to be possessed—desire to possess something. Fear of possessing something. You want a relationship—you don’t want a relationship. Somebody wants you—you don’t want that person. Somebody doesn’t want you—you want that person to want you. All the imbalances of various relationships—and this is not just between men and women, this is between friends, between parents and children, between brothers and sisters, between anyone you meet on the street and have any kind of interaction with, are ripe for orange ray blockage of some kind.

What you’re trying to do is have no particular desire for any outcome, but to be able to love and accept each person for what that person is, because that person is, underneath all the distortions, the Creator, just as you are. Usually the hardest orange ray blockages are those with the self. We can forgive anyone but ourselves.

Moving along upwards to the third, the yellow ray, you described a blockage you had when realized as a Second Lieutenant you didn’t want to kill and you did something about it—you balanced it. You said: “No, I don’t want to kill; this is the way I feel,” and the imbalance was corrected, you now have a balanced yellow ray.

You don’t have to agree with everything the government does or believe wholeheartedly or whatever in any group, whether it be a nation, or state, or baseball team, you simply need to let it be, without becoming disturbed, concerned, worried and [worked up] over it, or overactivating the yellow ray by trying very hard to change things and save the world. Those are the usual was of blocking the yellow ray—trying to control or feeling like a victim.

These three lower energy centers are where the important blockages need to be cleared because once one had gotten through to the green ray energy center, one is working on opening the heart to an all embracing, all forgiving compassion and love—love without stint—love that know no boundaries. Working on that particular energy center is a joy. You have lots of chances—lots of temptations to stop loving. Recognize them for that and consciously decide to love.

Once you have the green energy ray getting full energy through the lower chakras, you’ll be able to work as it is given you to work by your various gifts on communication, healing or work in consciousness. For work in consciousness, the indigo ray does require an open heart for real effectiveness, so when you come to meditation center yourself by saying the Lord’s Prayer or some such thing to clear yourself of the blockages that are in your very human and very forgivable mind so that you are clear for the time in which you meditate to that wonderful energy of the open heart.

Don’t attempt …

(Side 1 of tape ends.)

After that—this is side two, talking to B—after that let the Creator guide you—let yourself be guided and don’t consciously say “Okay, Creator, guide me!” Just relax. (Laughs) Just relax in the open heart and go forward in the meditation—following the breathing. Just be, and you will find yourself gradually becoming less and less limited in your awareness of who you are.

Now, let’s see (reads): “Could the opening of the green energy center also be considered to be the point of conscious awareness of choice between service to self or service to others?”

No. Anybody, no matter how blocked, can see the handwriting on the wall and grasp the reason for this illusion. It’s just that we all have work to do, that’s all. None of us is born with a totally open heart—or most of us are not. Perhaps one in a million. We all know a good person somewhere who seems to be without anything but love. That person may or may not be religious—but it doesn’t matter. The person just radiates.

No, the situation can be figured out with the head alone—but it can only be worked upon with the heart. So put the head aside—toss the intellect away, except as it is useful as a packhorse, let it carry you—you have a lot of choices to make in life that are quite simply matters of maintenance, the continuation of the body, getting yourself up and fed properly and so forth, you know, have respect for yourself—that’s what the brain is for.

But in your spiritual work forget anything to do with intellectual thought and simply turn and face to the silence within. You’ve already made the foundation choice that you want to be of service to others. As blocked or as confused as you are—that choice has been made. Now it’s just a matter of how quickly you can accelerate the pace of your growth in spirit—your evolution in consciousness. If you do nothing whatsoever at all you will continue to progress—it will just be slow.

The more work you do in consciousness, the more faithfully and daily you meditate, as well as contemplate and pray—I do all three, and sing sacred music, and goof around and have a ball a lot too. (Laughs) And then more quickly you will begin to have the outward experience of being an open channel.

“When does an entity make the choice?” You’ve already made it. You told me so yourself. An entity makes it when he makes it. Those that are intelligent make it a little sooner because they can smell the coffee and know they’re in the kitchen. They have things figured out. Just about anybody at any step of blockage or confusion, can come to the point where he sees the way it is: the choice between controlling others so that they serve you, or being a servant to others in the name of an ideal.

Now this is not an ideal world. It is decidedly imperfect. Designed to be so. It is designed to be very confusing, very frustrating and very challenging. That’s so that you can make your choices. So when you see all of this confusion—gives thanks and give praise and look at it and say “where’s the love in this particular moment in this situation—where’s the love.” And it will come to you and you take it into meditation.

I don’t understand everything in the Ra Material myself and we’ve been reading it every day, just like we read a little bit of the bible every day, since it was channeled. Jim and I, that is. It is a cosmology that is remarkably self consistent and in which a personal faith practiced passionately and single-mindedly, is both necessary and central. Ra does not speak with authority. Ra does not claim to be infallible. Ra offers one the way to look at life and eternity and purpose and the mystery of the Creator in such a way that a person has tools and resources he can use to make choices that will help him in his evolution.

Notice how Ra was so very, very careful to respect my distortions—I’m a Christian. That was fine with Ra. It got me where I wanted to go. He called it a “distortion.” That’s because the simple truth is that all is love, all is the Creator and all is one. In this density that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. We have to go at it one way or the other. We need a story, we need a bridge, we need a rainbow, we need a covenant. I chose Jesus Christ or Jesus Christ chose me. I’ve very grateful for that—whatever way it worked.

Other people choose other things. If it works for them—if it gets them over the Rainbow Bridge then that’s fine with me. Judgment is not for us mere mortals. We have to get on with our own opening, learning, surrendering and becoming conscious of our deeper selves.

Again, you say you do not, [have found] a way to meditate—I recommend it, but not in huge amounts. If you are concerned about protection you can always call on the Archangels: before me Rafael, behind me Gabriel, on my right hand Michael, on my left hand Ariel—these are very ancient names—very powerful symbols that demand a great deal of discarnate intelligence and attention and constitute a strong angelic sort of protection in the heaven worlds or the inner planes or whatever language you wish to use.

Don’t worry about how to serve other people. The service you perform today is in front of your nose. Do it with love. Do it because you love the Creator and if you wash a dish out of love for the Creator—that dish will sing back to you “Thank you—you really cleaned me.!” There isn’t anything that’s not alive. There isn’t anything that’s not worthy. There is no task that is not a path of service. In fact, one of the most incredibly difficult paths of service is the one that gets noticed the least—parenting. Being a father or a mother is terribly hard—long hours, no pay, and such responsibility to try to guide a soul as it grows without hindering it—without confusing it.

And yet, people with children say to me “I don’t have a path of service—I’m not doing anything!” Of course, they are. They are doing the best service in the universe—they’re serving a soul—they’re serving the Creator without regard for themselves. Putting that child first always. How can you be more positively polarized than that?

You won’t become entangled with entities, if you don’t accept entities. Let your meditations be silent and any channeling that you hear, or opinions that you hear, including mine, make them subject to your own inner intuition of the truth. When you hear something that’s true to you, it will resonate—it will ring—it will seem like a remembrance. Something that you had just forgotten but now you remember and knew all the time. If it doesn’t have that kind of resonance then don’t pick it up—just toss it away.

You’re in charge here of what you take in. You’re not following a preset plan that’s made by some outer source. You’re following a path that was carefully designed by you and the Creator before this incarnation so that you could learn the lessons about love that you wanted to strengthen. Are you too proud? Are you too selfish? Are you afraid to love without being loved back? There are a million and one different things about love that scare people. Examine yourself. Examine the situations that you’re in and see where your lessons might lie. Don’t be hasty—just keep meditating—keep remembering the Creator—and keep observing. Patience, faith, and the continuing will to persevere will get you where you want to go and will open to you always vistas previously unknown.

God bless, and I’m through answering your letter. These are all the questions that you asked this time and if I can help you further, please write me again. As you can see, I tend to run late in my epistles because I treat each one seriously and consequently I’m usually up to two months behind, but I do take people in order, if you write the letter and I get the letter I put it at the bottom of the pile. When I get to your letter it’s because I finished the ones that came in before yours did, so that’s about as fair as I know how to be.

May your path be light and may you cease fearing because all there is is love.

Take care, my brother, and God bless,

Carla

  Skip Navigation LinksL/L Research Carla’s Niche Letter Tapes March 22, 1990

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