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Carla’s Niche

Carla’s Letter Tapes

CAVEAT: Warning! These letters have not been edited by Carla. Expect errors.

Letter to PC

August 13, 1990

Dear P,

Thank you for your interesting letter. I’ll do my best to answer your questions, but I could be wrong so think about what I say carefully and don’t just accept anything.

I’ve heard of a lot of people putting down the Law of One books at one point and picking them up later, having discovered that something that had not yet come to pass in their life had, and had changed them so that the Ra Material books were what they needed, so yours is not an unusual experience at all.

I’m going to cut right to the chase here because you did in your letter. You were talking about the timely reminder to meditate and that through meditation you had already experienced a contact with Ra five years ago. Now, I’m nobody to judge whether you were talking with Ra five years ago—you talked with somebody five years ago that called himself Ra, that’s for sure. It would be very unlikely that Ra would leave you in the kind of fix you were left in. However, it doesn’t matter, because you don’t want to be a channel as far as I can tell. And it is only if you wished to be a channel that I would have to be working to go through the sometimes rather challenging preparation for channeling of a positively oriented channel.

You see, it’s a very untuned universe, just as it is untuned in this density. Tuning is a matter of people’s freewill. They either smell the flowers or damn the raindrops. And basically on earth I think we have a slight tendency toward cynicism rather than naivety, which is very sad.

At any rate, a person’s mind is likely to not be in any kind of shape to bring in an impersonal consciousness such as that of the Ra social memory complex. Now instead, what he will do is pick up someone who will say he is Ra but someone who will cause you difficulty and someone who will possibly lead you away from the light, because of being very very cautious about that experience happening again.

Your soul was not leading your body—your soul has never been in your body—you are not corporeal. However, your consciousness, which is what the soul reposits within your physical vehicle in order to go through the lessons of learning how to love and to live in society, are usually fairly untuned. And I’m not talking directly to you—I’m talking in general.

It is not an insult for me to say that most people lead very “detuned” lives. They have a kind of perverse enjoyment of the soap opera factor in life’s adventures and will tend to focus on the glass half empty and so forth, so that when one’s consciousness is cranked open—and this is what you did before—you did indeed move yourself sufficiently into a trance state (you must be a fairly good subject) and off you went and in came somebody that claimed it was Ra.

But you never quite got out of your body, you see, or if you got out, you never got quite back in. I understand that if this ever happens to you again, although it has not happened to me, the technique for both rolling in and rolling out of the body so that the bodies coincide and are congruent so that you can move your arms and your eyelashes and voice, is to tuck and roll, just as if you are about to fall. Tuck and roll; tuck and roll. Just picture yourself rolling right into your body as it is on the surface that you left it.

The fear factor is something I don’t think Ra would tolerate. But this is not a big deal with me. I don’t mind what you think. Perhaps there is another Ra, but you will have to admit that your contact has been somewhat less than informationally fertile. I would not try again to attempt to contact an entity.

I have written a whole book about it and but you haven’t asked for it and we have it here, but you’ve got to ask for a book to get the book, because otherwise we’re infringing on your freewill, so I’ll try to make sure (inaudible) of the simple rules.

In human society we see all sorts of people—we know that they are all equally children of God and perfect and whole in every way. We also know that some of them are very decent, very kind, always giving to others; others are absolute sonofaguns that would shoot their own mothers if it would help in a particular course that they had laid out. And there’s everything in between.

When people die, they don’t become bereft of reason—their consciousness moves right on without even a bobble. I’ve had it happen to me in a near-death experience and I know there’s no instance even of feeling unconscious. I didn’t even go through a tunnel.

What you’re doing is, in short, you lack respect for the spiritual resources and tools that you have that you have not yet gotten into order which is necessary for you to do work in consciousness.

Now, in the book, I break this down more carefully, but I don’t think it’s a difficult concept to understand simply either. The first three chakras—the sexual and survival chakra—the one that makes you breath, and adrenalin flow and have babies (not you personally) is normally clear in men but is not normally clear in women. But check it. If you are not one who has claimed that he is a passionate being sexually (doesn’t matter whether you do anything about it or not) then you have work to do there in order to get the energy to flow up.

The living energy of the Creator does not breath down through the nose alone—the prana, which is unseen light, comes up from the earth into the feet, into the legs and up into the chakra system of the spine, but hitting the most fundamental one first—the joining of the legs—the red ray chakra, so you’re probably not blocked there unless (Carla asks herself: Is he in a prison? Yes, he is in a prison) unless you are treating a sexual partner in a way which does not give him the full honor and gentleness that any partner in love under the Creator’s blessing deserves, or unless you’ve decided that for some reason sex is in some way an evil thing. People have made it so—people have made it a very violent thing. But it is not, it is a kind of Eucharist, a kind of Holy Communion—it is a way for us to understand very immediately what the love of the Creator is like. So that is probably fairly clear for you since you are a guy.

Most people have the most trouble with the next ray up and that is the orange ray—that is the relationship between you and yourself (and believe me, there is one) and you and other people and basically what you’re trying to do is go through a process of watching yourself and determining what kind of a person you really are. What your choices are and which choices you like and which ones you don’t.

You see, we have a very simple ethic under the new dispensation. We don’t have to go to church and confess our sins and have some priest mumbo jumbo for us and over us, although it is often an extreme help, and I use it every penitential season. The value of confession is wonderful. You should probably pick, if you have one absolutely trusted spiritual adviser, confess all of the things that have been blocking you with people and insofar as it is possible for you, ask their forgiveness. Ask forgiveness abstractly for the whole thing happening because if your attitudes hadn’t been the way they were, whatever happened wouldn’t have happened.

And last, but most important, you must ask for forgiveness for yourself. And most people find it fairly easy to forgive others, the power of prayer is enormous, and if you say a very simple prayer, like the one I use when someone has hurt me, instead of brooding about the person, I figure well that person was in a lot of trouble or that person wouldn’t have been so vitriolic, so I pray and the prayer that I use is one that I’ve been using since I was a little girl, and it may not mean anything to you at all, but it is a prayer that you simply can’t screw up.

You can’t get bad feelings into this prayer, and it goes: “Heavenly Father watch over thy servant (then you name the person or people that you are praying for); keeping him safe in every way, support him as he stands, comfort him when he is scourged or sorrowful, raise him up if he falls, and in his heart may that peace that passeth all understanding abide all the days of his life. Amen”

The forgiveness takes a long time but it is absolutely necessary, because if you haven’t forgiven either yourself or other people, you see, your energy is being held back. It’s not getting through to the heart chakra—it’s not getting through to your resource for doing work in consciousness.

The red ray is between the legs, the orange ray is in the abdomen and the yellow ray, right where you go “oof” and sit down if somebody hits you in the solar plexus. That has to do with your feelings about the society at large. In the case of any prisoner there is a tremendous temptation to be very angry at the society. I can see that. (Laughs) I can see that.

But if you want to work in consciousness, you really can’t afford the time, so you just have to drop that attitude because it’s not helpful to the work you’re doing. Forgive, forgive, forgive. And when you feel that energy pouring into your heart chakra so that it’s really full and really working at its getting all the power that your body is getting at the red ray. It’s going through red ray, orange ray, yellow ray, into green ray.

Then, and only then, are you at the point where you can really say, “okay, I’ve gotten myself peaceful, now who am I?” And you think about that. You think about that prayfully and with a light heart, a merry heart, not with a terribly solemn face, no hair cloth, no S&M, you’re just trying to figure out who you are. What would you die for? What ideal do you own for which you would perish if you had to deny it? The answer to the second question is probably the same as the first. What are you living for?

To tell you the truth, although I say, well, I would die if I had to deny Jesus, and I live for Jesus. The truth of the matter is that Jesus does not show his face clearly to this generation, but Jesus, or the Christ, is within every face that you meet. A very difficult thing to swallow sometimes when you look at the faces.

At that point, when you have decided exactly who you are, you become an identifiable metaphysical being. Before then, you’re a metaphysical nobody. If you don’t know yourself, nobody knows you, not in the metaphysical world. I mean, how many spirits have you ever heard of in your life that did not know who they were? In the world of spirits, no matter what our density or condition, we are completely democratically equal with one another. The reason is very simple; we were all made from the one Creator. We are all the one Creator’s children.

We have come into very different places in this life by making choices. The work in consciousness truly begins when we decide what our ideals are and what we stand for in the spirit. What we will be standing for 10,000 years from now. The next time you sing “Amazing Grace,” think of that. Not very many things hold up for 10,000 years, do they?

But there are some magical stories and myths and religions and philosophies and metaphics and cosmology, whatever you want to call this stuff that will be as magical 10,000 years from now. Truths, beauty, love—the ideals that one can never find on this terribly situational, slippery, non-ethical third density existence.

But once you’ve tuned this consciousness of yours, then you keep it tuned by doing two things: you meditate for a short period every day, I wouldn’t say a long period because it seems too easy for you to go into trance—you do not want to go into trance—if you feel this coming on again, do the same thing you did last time. I wouldn’t want you out of your body, not aware of your metaphysical self, that’s not a good idea.

So I would suggest instead that you realize that listening within and in the meditations is intended to be a listening to the silent will of your higher self. Now people have been calling guides and holy spirits and brotherhoods and UFO occupants and all sorts of things that still small voice within. It doesn’t matter to me. I’m a mystical Christian and vocabulary means very little to me. The concepts of the story of error and redemption hold me—not the historicity of that particular story.

I really like Jesus so I read his words in whatever kind of dilapidated form they’ve come down to us, when you think about it—trying to live as he did is a great challenge.

So you simply need to go back to first base or even home plate and start getting yourself in a position to do safe, stable, good metaphysical work in consciousness. And that means getting peaceful with yourself—warts and all. That’s not saying just because you forgive yourself of a murder that it’s all right to murder—that’s not it at all. It’s that you forgive yourself. It’s over now. That was then, this is now. You can’t do it over again—you can’t undo it, you just have to forgive yourself.

Of course it is very frustrating not to know whether you did it or not. But probably somewhere deep in your soul you do know and you may have a dream about that if you ask for it. I believe in asking my dreams to tell me things.

Jesus, in the New Testament, tossed away the Old Testament very simply. He said: “here’s my new covenant” (I don’t quote out of the bible, I read it) “Love the Lord thy God with all the heart and all the soul and all thy strength, and thy neighbor as thyself.” On these two commandments hang all of the law in the prophets. Now the law that is the first five books of the bible and the Koran, and the prophets and the rest of the bible—a lot of witches, enough to make you concerned how there was enough Jews left over from the middle ages to be persecuted.

At any rate, whether your path is Christian, Buddhist, Shinto, American Indian, it doesn’t matter from the standpoint of it being a successful way and truth and light to move you from the mundane into the world of the eternal and lasting things, you must come into an awareness of who you really are. You must also come into an awareness of the excruciatingly funny difference between the wonderful nature that all of us has inside of ourselves and the pitiful and crazy things that we’ve done with ourselves to warp that honest love from coming through all the time.

We do seem to manage to avoid having a good time, don’t we? So you see, you really need to work on yourself—to believe in yourself. To believe you are, because you have turned and asked—self-forgiven. There were two thieves on the crosses with Jesus in the place of the Skull. One of them had an attitude—he was telling Jesus to call somebody at headquarters to get him down (laughs)—the other guys was a criminal all right, but he had some sense. And he was clearheaded enough to look over at Jesus, perhaps he simply saw the look in his eye—perhaps he had been following Jesus or news of Jesus, but it’s not said, there’s very little said in the bible, but it is said that he said: “will you remember me when you come into your kingdom.?”

He’s on the cross, he screwed up, and Jesus said “This day you shall be with me in paradise.”

Is there any question in your mind at this point that you are not forgiven by the most High if you have turned to him and asked? That old testament stuff is poison, so leave it alone.

But once you have gone through this realization you must seat it within yourself, because your job, you see, having chosen to be a service to others oriented person, is to serve other people and you can’t serve other people with any more distinction than you can serve yourself, which means that if you yourself accept yourself and allow yourself that feeling of being forgiven and allow yourself to live in that present moment that always intersects with eternity, then you will begin seeing other people that way, because that’s the way that you have come to learn to love.

You have to love your neighbor as yourself and it is not in any way, shape or form, selfish to work on your own character before you try to spike those higher energy centers. That’s what happened to you in that Ra contact, whatever Ra that was. You were probably in a good tangle in the first three energy centers, but the book had inspired you and look what you got out of it in your muddled state—a realization of the great mystery.

So if I were you, I would just start over and follow my path, whatever it is, every day, don’t go shopping after you’ve found the path that you like. Because the stuff that you learn is the stuff for which you are responsible to offer forth to others in manifestation. Therefore, if I am sitting here telling you a bunch of stuff, forgiving the self and all that jazz, I’d better be doing it, or you’ll hear it in my voice, anybody else will hear it in my voice—this is a labor of love for me. I want to help people graduate into the fourth density; that I have to tell people that it’s not as simple as God is Love and Love is God and I am you and you are me and we are God and God is all of us—allowment, unfoldment, enrichment, and enlightenment—all those bliss-meaning words.

Now it is bliss to love unconditionally. It is also most wise for any student who knows that there is going to be a ten minute quiz at the end of the incarnation to be doing his homework. You will notice by this time that you’ve been repeating a pattern (I would guess—let’s see how old are you? I can’t tell from your handwriting—it’s mature but it’s not old, on the other hand, it’s not young.) At any rate you’re old enough to know what I’m talking about.

So all that could keep you from that which you can do while you are alone, is yours to do and that is: gain a feeling of self worth, self esteem, self forgiveness and therefore a feeling of compassion and forgiveness and non judgment for other people, particularly difficult in a place where everybody—if he’s not there for what he’s been convicted on, has maybe one chance out of two of being there for the wrong reason, but being there and being the right kind of guy to keep off the streets as far as little old ladies with their bags, and so on.

Having two of my friends in jail right now is a very eye-opening experience, they are both good people that I have know for fifteen or twenty years, and I think one of them was out of state, south of here, and came across: “say, where are you going to take off when they saw the plates “where are you going” and the guy said where he was going and this other guy makes a deal and said he would just run this stuff up there and drop it off at so-and-so’s house.

So from that very innocent beginning two people that I know and love dearly were put in jail. One of them probably should have been in jail for something—starting a bar fight or something—big user. The other guy never used anything at all—he was doing it as a favor for a friend. Kinda like the guy in the class that gets all A’s and says “don’t worry, I’ll let you memorize the answers” and then he’s the one who gets caught and everybody else gets away. That’s what happened.

So I know a lot of people who are in jail are not supposed to be in there, but basically I would say that if you are in jail you have to look carefully for the good parts. I do feel that I have some right to say that because at this point in my life I can get off this bed only to paddle around the house to do the obvious and I have special doctor’s permission to go to church and to the local Bach Society which is one of the three Bach Societies in the U.S. considered by the world press to be a world class Bach Society. We’re singing a concert August 28, consisting of Mozart’s “Requiem” which you will know if you saw “Amadeus” and Bach’s “Magnificant” which is wonderful wonderful singing and is probably my second favorite thing to sing in the whole world, Bach’s “Mass in D Minor” being number one.

Okay, meditate every day. At the end of the day go through contemplating things that have swayed you emotionally during the day. And you say to yourself “why does that sway me” or just let yourself feel the way it has swayed you, and then you let the other side of that feeling come over you. The emotional part works for some people, the analytical type works for others. I am an analytical type; Jim is an altogether balancing type.

So this is all by telling you how to prepare to do the one thing that is truly, I think, safe for you to do in your environment, which I think would be a real eye-opener for you and you would still be channeling—it would simply be from a source that is within your consciousness a little bit more than this impersonal kind of source which is really not going to do you any favors.

You need to respect this particular gift very much, because I have seen it and its less than desirable effect on three different people in a serious enough manner that I either did call the police and the person was taken to a mental hospital because they had come undone, or just simply poured the person back on the airplane and said “get back to your normal duties and get really busy for about three or four days and talk to me on the phone if you need too.” There was not much else I could do—they had to go.

So you see you’re dealing with something here that could be potentially difficult. But keeping a journal—a dream journal and a journal of your thoughts—everything that you’ve been thinking—everything that you’ve been dreaming—things that puzzle you, things that make you mad—this is a wonderful wonderful way to learn about yourself and I totally recommend it, and it doesn’t stop with the first month. I hope you are persistent with this because it sounds like you are gifted.

Now, question (Carla reads from the letter) you’ve become preoccupied with ceremonial magic and the tarot. Don’t. Please don’t at this time. You are not at all ready for ceremonial magic at his time. I am not ready for ceremonial magic. To do ceremonial magic you’ve got to be able to do about two to four hours of very disciplined work in consciousness every day.

I’m not ready to commit myself to that and before you do something you need to know that you’re really going to follow through. You see, it’s not an easy thing. It’s not a shallow thing. It holds the attention of many many discarnate entities when one does a ceremony. Because your magical personality is not yet mature, I would leave the choices of ceremonial magic and the tarot and any other so-called occult paths of prophesy alone, because you’ve got to get your own gig in order. Then when you’ve got that job done you can make decisions with much more awareness of what really is pulling you.

You need to look very carefully—for instance, read a little bit about ceremonial magic. W. E. Butler is my favorite there. Anyway, there are some paperback books they’ve put out recently, instead of them being out of print, which they were for years. They’re now all in print again—one is called “Ceremonial Magic—It’s Power and Purpose” (something like that) and one is called “Apprentice to Magic” and one is called “The Making of the Magician” (or something like that.)

Anyway, they are good books, strong books. Yes, I think you should probably simply get a good grounding. I recommend Dion Fortune as being a very honest and forthright stater of the magical tradition, though I don’t think she is as inspired a writer. I also recommend the work of Israel Regardie with the same warning, and anything that you read about Kabala, except the Kybalion, which doesn’t have any author at all. Marvelous book.

I wouldn’t take in too much else of the magical literature because like everything else, there is white ceremonial magic and then there is the magic that which is not—the placing of the self over and against everything else—all the other selves so that you can control them so that they can help you.

So, no, I don’t think you should do the banishing ritual. And you definitely don’t have to banish the planets, the signs of the Zodiac, the elements, as a matter of fact you would want to praise all of those things. Those are gifts of God, those have been given from the Creator and are beautiful and are beautiful of thought and when you see them, whether we’re looking at a simple flower, bush or the planets in their courses, we are looking at the beauty of the creation of the Father.

I think you simply need to take yourself in rein and realize that although this is an illusion which seems to be very negative in many ways, it is always possible to look around you and find something to praise the Creator for or give thanks for. There’s the fact that we’re living—sometimes that doesn’t seem like a big deal but if we weren’t we would have a whole lot of other choices either—at least not having to do with this reality, and I’m not ready for my ten minute quiz yet—I don’t know about you.

Just get yourself squared away—get yourself squared away to be a loving being to yourself and it will come as the night follows day, that you will be loving to the Creator and to others and want to help others, and your path of service will begin to fall in front of you, and you will begin to find spiritual coincidence mounting until it begins to be easier because your own life as you let it flow and you’re flowing with it is telling you what your path of service is—it’s right in front of your face. That’s what it always is. Usually, it’s not only right in front of your face, but you’re being hit over the forehead with a two by four.(laughs).

I’m trying to think if I’ve left anything out. Don’t lose courage and don’t talk about it unless somebody really wants to share it with you. Do not talk about it. See, I’m a mystic—I’m a Mystic Christian and I’m really not much on literal things. I would die before I would lose my Christ, but I would not know whether his birth was virgin or not. I don’t feel that it’s the least bit important whether it was or not in history, but the story says that each of us has a little baby waiting to be born within us. A little baby that has been shoved out of all the Holiday Inns and the Ramadas and Hyatt Houses, and Best Westerns—even Motel 6, because we’re so fascinated with the surface of life, and that little baby will never ever spring forth to life in the womb of your soul and your heart and grow in this protected womb of faith and trust if you don’t make room for it specifically. To me that is what Christmas is all about.

It’s wonderful that we’re saying “happy birthday Jesus” and all of that, but all of us are in the process of bringing up a very small child—that’s our spiritual self. That’s the self that by the time we are four score years and ten, or whatever, I can’t remember how long we’re supposed to be alive these days (laughs)—maybe it’s three score, are going to be able to face the next great adventure.

If we talk too much about our little babies—our little souls that we don’t understand very well yet, and we somehow lose some of the intensity of our desire to speak the truth to find out what our relationship is with the Creator and what his is with us, what our purpose is and so forth—just to find out the truth, basically, that baby will never grow. We’ve got to give it complete privacy. You’ve got to honor it.

You’re made of love and freewill—so we all are. We are all exactly alike in that we are all made of love. And we are all completely unique, one from another, because freewill is forever variable. What we are doing in our spiritual growing up process is learning how to change willfulness, that is, the expression of freewill and random decisions, to a willingness to surrender completely our uninformed narrow, human conceptions of service, in order to hear more clearly the voice of the spirit.

If we don’t hear the voice of the spirit while the voice is chatting with us quietly, then comes the two by four. The last time it happened to me was in l983—I love to sing—I’m not great at it—I sing in the chorus, I’ve sung in the choir since I was four. I just love to sing, and there was a place in Atlanta, where I had moved with Don Elkins and Jim McCarty so Don could be closer to his job, they had a cathedral called St. Phillips and it was a place I didn’t like.

Episcopalian though I am, I’m not that sort of Episcopalian. As a matter of fact, I was boiling mad—went to the church one day, there were about ten ushers back there, the place was packed, and this usher gets to me and says to me in one of those hushed voices that ushers usually are tremendously good at, that he had a few places still in the middle and one or two on the left side fairly near the front.

Well, I just saw red. I was really upset. I couldn’t believe this was my church that I’d been born into, christened into, confirmed into, give me a break, I said, “put me behind the pillar, I came here to worship”. Well, the guy didn’t show anything on his face which I think was very good as to his self-discipline, but he did take me to the front of the church and place me next to the woman who was obviously the reining dowager of the church, who was actually a very nice lady, she’d probably been there since the year one. We had a marvelous discussion together.

So, I decided to go a little further with that, okay, so there were people out there that were going just to wear pretty clothes and do business and all that. I know the Episcopalian church is known to be a social church but there are those of us that do go there to worship. And just realizing once again (I’d been through this before) that in any congregation there are people that you are worshipping with so it is a community and you’re not fooling yourself, it is happening, it’s just not happening all over the congregation.

So, I said okay—I’ll give the choir a try and I went to choir practice for a couple of weeks. I mean to tell you here—they fitted you out—mind you, and I’m a woman—with tricorn, a purple tricorn (do you know what that is?—the kind of hat that the redcoats wore during the civil war—that’s how old this choir costume was), which of course looks really good on the human head “Oh I’m wearing a pyramid on my head with a little brim on it, no problem” and a frill—the kind that Elizabeth I (the Virgin Queen) wore, and singing the best music I’d sung since I’d left Lowell.

I was scheduled to start singing with the choir the next week and I found out that this little teeny weeny, eensy tiny congregation that wasn’t even a church yet, it was still a mission, was not five minutes away from me. These people did not know Episcopalian from (anything)—they didn’t know what being Episcopalian was, instead of being very quietly dignified (I think that’s the secret of the Episcopalian draw for me is it’s very quiet, you do a lot of your own praying to yourself, by yourself, just following the book along with the preacher, and you can get into a very deep place in worship and adoration that way. But the lay readers, as they’re called, (“lay” meaning non-clerical) wear robes, like anyone does who would be actually part of the service, that person would be actually part of the service, so that person would be in front of the chancel and be robed. Now these people were picking up these huge heirloom bibles that you can pick up for $20 or $30 dollars, you write your family tree in it—this is really quite gauche—it’s just not done in the Episcopal church.

So they didn’t have a choir at all—all I have is a little folk music voice—sounds a lot like Judy Collins I’ve been told, but it doesn’t have a lot of vibrato to it—I sound kind of like a boy in a boy’s choir, and I just had to go to church there and start the choir. God didn’t need me at St. Philips. And I thought of all the doggone things to stick me with, having to get used to a place in the country in the first place, where I’d never lived before, and not knowing a soul, and now having to start a choir by virtue of just standing up and singing, without an organ, by the way, because the organist did not know how to read music, so I just stood up there and sang some Episcopalism hymn without any instrument whatsoever. I mean, I’m a Kentucky folk singer, singing without an instrument is not a problem, you sing most of your spirituals without any accompaniment anyway, but it was a pretty rough way for me.

I’m not a person that enjoys singing solos at all and also I knew that the only way I’d get a group together would be to make everybody jealous. So I was in their faces, I sang during the oratory, I sang during communion, I sang until people were so heartily tired of hearing me sing, that they decided they’d better start a choir and drown me out (laughs). So I taught one of the stalwart members of the church vestry to read alto, which was not the easiest thing I’ve ever done in six weeks—she learned really fast and left, having started that church’s choir, and I hope the Holy Spirit is happy about that, because I’ve been begrudging that ever since—not really—I didn’t begrudge it at the time. I just missed being able to sing the wonderful choices of music that are available to an Episcopalian who do have a musical funding that is adequate to buy the music, and have the people in the choir to sing Bach, Brahms, Mendelssohn, on and on right up to the 20th Century. The song that Cat Stevens made popular “Morning has broken” is an Episcopalian hymn.

I trust that kind of answers who you’re going to tell what to do next. You’re going to do what is in front of your face and you do it for the love of God and it doesn’t matter what it is. And you don’t brag about it and you don’t talk about it and you honor it as though you yourself as a spirit were an honored guest in your own home—because you are. You need to hollow yourself out as that infant grows, and that’s what meditation does—it’ll start you through a series of changes which will be uncomfortable, and you’ll be on an uncomfortable road, a narrow road, as they say, a rocky road.

But it’s fascinating to be on that road and you are never alone, because there are always thousands of people listening to the Creator at the same moment as you are or praying. It’s a wonderful thought that planetwise there is so much more attention being paid to the Creator, than has been in the past. You can see it moving all around the world.

Now, (reading) “How do you deal with religious people who warn you of the dangers of magic and the inevitable accusations of devil worship?”

Well, obviously, you’re not worshipping the devil. That is a substantially unprovable fact. You can’t prove any more that you’re worshipping the devil than you can prove that you’re worshipping the Creator. What they have to do is look at how you’re coming across, listen to what you’re saying, watch you behave, and if you’re coming across in a helpful, serviceable way, a way full of humility, love and compassion and a lack of judgment, that will speak for itself.

As to what you say, I can’t give you any answer but the one that works for me and I don’t know if it works for very many people, because I have got a lot of nerve, and I ask them to pray for me, because I know that they would not be on my back unless they really cared what happens to me, which touches me deeply.

Then I say that the things that hold us together under Christ are much more substantial than the things about which we disagree, and I don’t defend myself any further than that. I apologize for being a stumbling block on their path and I do not defend one single thing. It’s the only metaphysically honest way of dealing with people who doubt you. You can’t prove what you’re doing—you simply have to believe in yourself and let people believe whatever they have to and really feel sorry for them and realize that they’re hurting because they care about you.

It’s a hard thing to realize when somebody is telling you that you’re a Satanist, but if you’re going to be—I started to say Christian, but I don’t know if you’re a Christian or not—but if you’re going to be on the path of service to others, you have to be on the path of service to others all the time—not just when somebody is not attacking you. If somebody is attacking you, that’s when you have to be of more service to others than ever, and the service is to be their servant and not their controller. You are not afraid of them controlling you because you are controlling you—your higher self is. You are held safely in the gentle arms of a power much greater than your own conscious power, and you know that.

And even if it breaks your heart to hear people saying these things to you, you just bite your tongue and ask them to pray for you and tell them that you’re sorry you’re a stumbling block to them—that you wouldn’t do it for all the world, and that you hope that they can simply carry on with their way, and you won’t bother them and they won’t bother you.

In Corinthians, I believe it is, Paul speaks of the various gifts of the spirit, and among them is one called “the sermon of spirit” that I believe is what channeling is. I’ve talked to you plenty about the dangers of behaving as a metaphysical or magical personality; the terms are relatively congruent, not perfectly. You do not want to stay in that persona when you’re not feeling that way. Dead honesty is the only path for a seeker who wants to take the shortest road. It’s harder sometimes to face oneself in the mirror of self-reflection and see what needs to be done and do it. But it’s a lot easier than carrying on in an unfortunate fashion, which you’re not proud of, until someone forcibly brings that part of your life to a close.

Now, let’s see, one more question here—Lawrence Ellison. Larry I lost about two years ago, I guess, he was in Maryville, Tennessee, I’ve got his last address here but I don’t think that will do any good because I’ve been getting his Christmas cards back—as a matter of fact, I may have taken him off the list. But anyway, he was in Maryville, Tennessee, I would imagine a call to that place would get you his phone number if he were still alive because he did do that for a fee, he had to advertise to get the business. He had a very bad kidney problem and I wouldn’t be surprised that he had died to the physical and had moved on to a larger life, a couple of years ago.

I’m sorry, but that’s all I can tell you. You have to be very careful with a person who is regressing you to a former time in your life. The most important thing, if you were going to choose your own psychotherapist that does regressive analysis, which some of them do, you ask around, you must ask that person not to suggest anything to you. In other words, if the guy says “do you see a man or a woman,” that’s not a very good question. The question should be “what do you see?” You don’t say “do you look like a boy or do you look like a girl?” You say, “What do you look like?” You don’t say, “Well, are you a kid or are you middle-aged,” but rather “do you have a feeling for what age you might be?”

You don’t assume anything when you’re doing hypnotic work with a subject. We trained Larry well, and we’re really sorry to see him leave, let me tell you, because it’s hard to get a doctor who doesn’t have a basic idea in his head as to what’s going on, and when you’re in a trance state you’re very suggestible and you want to please this guy that is asking you these questions, so basically, you’ll tell the guy anything he wants to know. In order to get a good clean question he can’t ask you anything leading, anything that begs an answer of one kind or another. Very hard to find.

Obviously, you’re probably not going to get out real soon—you don’t say when—but that usually is hard time, but whomever you do find, make sure that person really understands the rules, or you’ll get yourself some occult indigestion.

How do you know that you are a wanderer? You don’t really. Wanderers tend to look at life on this planet and think “this isn’t right—it just doesn’t feel right.” They tend to be misfits because they don’t behave in the same way that everyone else does—out of naturalness—you have to learn social conventions. Oftentimes, wanderers have health problems because of dealing with the vibratory rate of this planet, which is not a very easy rate for wanderers to deal with.

But mainly it doesn’t matter and this is the main thing I’d like to leave you with. Anybody that comes into this planet via reincarnation, wanderer or not, is a naturalized citizen of planet earth in the last few decades of the third density, and we are under the exact same rules of graduation of this density of experience of any other citizen of planet earth. Basically, we test ourselves. The way it’s described in Ra is that there is a graduated set of steps—it’s longer than a stairway—each step being very long, each step is also a leap in density of life, and you keep moving along the stairway of light, not in the physical plane obviously, but in the spiritual plane, until you hit the light that you are totally comfortable with. If that light is third density, you’re going to have another 75,000 years of cheeseburgers, and that’s all there is to it. Welcome to McDonald’s—you didn’t make it.

If on the other hand, you are used to looking for the light in every situation, you will drink in more and more and more of that light, and you will go further and further along those steps because you will have been calling that light to you consciously, and manifesting it in the smile that you give somebody, in the prayers that you offer for people, that you perhaps even dislike, in the prayers that you offer for your own self-forgiveness, and you keep walking, into fourth density. It’s as simple as where it’s the most comfortable place for you to live, work and learn your lessons. If you haven’t learned the lessons that allow you to use a denser medium of light, then it would be cruel to put you there because for one thing, you would fall over dead in about two weeks because the physical body couldn’t take it, and for another thing, you’re an imperishable being—you have a perfect right to wake up at the speed and at the time that you choose. You don’t have to wake up now, and you don’t have to wake up anybody else either, because you can only help yourself.

Now I say this to you, and I know I’m spending a lot of time talking to you, but I know that I’m not helping you—that I’m putting some ideas out there—that they’re on the table—you can toss them aside, you can give them a consideration, you can adopt them temporarily until you try them out to see if they work. I don’t have any goal for an outcome for you. All I want to do is give you the best I’ve got. Don’t worry about being a wanderer—do what lies in front of you—do it for the love of the Creator—meditate each day—keep a journal of your dreams and your thoughts, find out who you are, and by the time you’ve done all those things, you’ll be a different person.

I see I have some space left on the end of this tape so I’ll take advantage of it to, number one, tell you to always write me on paper, because of the number of letters that I need to answer. I’m sorry I have to respond on tape but my handwriting is terrible—so terrible that I can’t read it—and number two, I’m going to practice, probably the “Magnicant”, and I’ll leave this tape running, just so it runs out. If you hear some squeaks in the background, don’t worry about it, it’s just me trying to learn my part.

Cheerio,

Carla

(Music plays with Carla practicing her part to the end of the tape)

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