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Carla’s Niche

Carla’s Letter Tapes

CAVEAT: Warning! These letters have not been edited by Carla. Expect errors.

Letter to SH

January 21, 1991

Dear S,

I knew when I sent my last tape off to you that I had not found the vocabulary that would communicate to you.…there is a problem in talking about qualitative truth, or shall we say qualitative wisdom, in words, because words are the attempt to express qualities, basically not the bits of language used by the part of ourselves that would desire to have faith.

So I have been looking for vocabulary and part of vocabulary in the creation of an environment for that vocabulary that will suggest a model of a universe or of ourselves or whatever we’re trying to deal with that is, if not literally accurate, evocative as to the content of what I am attempting to communicate.

So my attempts to communicate in this tape are those which are designed around a model of ourselves as subjectively perceived, that is not actually scientific but sounds scientific and is functionally accurate, if not literally.

So let me try to approach your question of “why passion, why I’m wary of passion, what good is passion, why do I need it, etc.,” this way: the basic premise of this model is that we are two life forms. The reason this model is not accurate is that only our spirit or soul dwelling in third density body is able to reach into the roots of our minds, our racial memories, I think, in our frontal lobes is where they have their connections—it is only because they are able to make this connection with our second density physical vehicle entities that we are aware of ourselves as third density entities.

So in truth, it is not one entity possessing or inhabiting another, but rather one entity doing the self conscious realization for the other, that enables that other second density being to grow through third density and develop a consciousness that is ready for fourth.

The model, therefore, is not literally accurate, since it is only through this life form we call the spirit, that we are even aware of our instinctual and utterly free life as a second density animal.

Now, I know from my channeling that the other life form does not use English or any words that I know of—it doesn’t use names, proper nouns, it does not like words, it eschews words, it communicates largely, at least through me, conceptually, a concept being a very profoundly Byzantine and infinitely openable area in time/space. Really, I think it is an area—it’s a three dimensional area and the problem lies in getting a three dimensional concept, even if it’s metaphysically three dimensional, into two-dimensional words.

So the very language is against us in even realizing, in any inchoate sense, that we’re carrying around another life form, but we are. That life form needs food, it has a language, it has an agenda. A lot of people are not even aware that there is anything but the animal, not to say “bestial”—I think apes are fairly nice animals—they bash each other around with clubs from time to time, but other than that, they seem to be very nice—very sociable, ready to make friends, ready to form units of kinship made of relationships.

We do have the aggression, the fight or flight, we have that, we have the tendency to find just about everybody in the world attractive with the proper sexual polarization. Those are all animal things. We are capable and willing to work quite hard if we see a clear purpose for it. And a lot of people live an instinctual second density life. Other people, most people, are vaguely aware that there is some sort of moral language that is going on in spite of the normal thinking processes rather than as a result of them.

It is not instinctual to our second density beings to ponder ethical questions, so the question is why do we do that? Another question is how can we think up questions that we can not in any way, shape or form answer or expect to answer?

I could go on but you can too, so I won’t draw it out. I think a lot of the evocative material in this model you will think of yourself because you have an enormously curious mind and really a very creative, as far as I can tell with any thought that I’ve given you, you see it, and a lot of times you will be reactive to it when you write back to me saying you not only liked it but you liked it because, so I trust you to do the work.

The work on this particular concept is rich. I’ve checked it out for a couple of days before I sent it to you and I think it does hold and I’m tickled with it because it’s always a creative, fairly simple solution that enables me to communicate with somebody that I’ve run into a blockage with in communication. So I’m really happy about this model.

Now what this entity, this spirit body, mind/body/spirit complex, needs for food, is faith and love and joy and peace and passion. It is passion. It doesn’t have words, it’s quite inarticulate within the human vessel, but it has conceptual conversations going on all the time—quite a few of them.

Because of eccentricities of my own I am able to note various conversations at various times, and the thing that exceedingly fascinates me about and attracts me to this spiritual entity which in this model lives in symbiosis with my second density vehicle, is that one of these conversations that this entity is having is with the Creator, directly. Now this is fascinating. We may be dust as all animals are, but we are in the presence, internally, in the presence of the Deity. Not every once in a while, but all the time. But it takes the cooperation of our mundane being, the one that hoofs us through the day on autopilot, to open up and allow reception of these Deity conversations.

Conversations between God and whom? Since this life form remains largely a mystery—in fact is a complete mystery, except for the fact that we have deduced (or perhaps induced) from evidence of things not found in animals having to do with morals, ethics, religious impulses and so forth, that we are carrying around another life form.

It is well to not take this literally, but it is well to consider it carefully, because the life forms are that different. We’re not talking about two very like things—we’re talking about one life form which uses yes/no choices to make endless decisions about what to perceive, what to do about what we perceive, what to think, how to behave, and all the moral, economic, social and metaphysical issues that you would care to address.

All of that can be done, and by the grace of the connections into our mind from the extremely self-aware spirit body, we have the tremendous benefit of being able to be aware, not only of momentary choices, but of the results and of what we think about them and the whole process by which we learn, not simply what we’re afraid of, but why we’re afraid of it, how we can avoid it, and all of those other things that go into a very enhanced, but still pretty basically animal self-preserving territorial information grid.

Our attitudes, our public wisdom, our political ethics, our political failures, are those of situational relativistic thinking, done by intellectuals who are not reckoning with the fact that we are carrying around another life form. That life form is held in common among all people. Many call it our higher self. It is our spirit, it is unique to us, but it is at the same time connected and one with, which is of course completely illogical, but that’s what I’m saying.

The spirit is completely illogical—it does not use the computer of our brains. It simply does not. You cannot get to faith, love, passion, or any of these qualities that are qualitative in nature rather than quantitative in nature, by using a language designed to express quantities specifically, and qualities evocatively. In fact, the language is so tricky that I can take the same words and say them in different ways and they will have different effects.

For instance, (Carla delivers, vocally three different versions of John 3:16 Episcopalian High Church, Low Southern Church and the song), “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosever believeth in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

I ask you—where does it take off into infinity? You see, it is when language wills itself to break the paper, to jump away from the page, or away from the musical notation to become poetry whether it is the poetry of a well-modulated voice, or pleasant singing voice—both of those things place a portion of that which is food for this life form we call the soul or the spirit. Singing, poetry, beauty, you see, is one of the great foods for the spirit.

Now the spirit can’t ask you for this—it waits. You have to figure it out. You have to figure out that the spirit is all love, all passion. It is love. It is the love that is connected with us and will be connected with us. We are of that vibration because we were made of it. It and light in various rotations and Larsen will have to explain about that. But I think he does a good enough job for you to check it out. And correspondence with Frank Meyer is correspondence with a man of enormous humanity and civilization and full of love and passion himself. He’s a physics man and preferred teaching to publishing and perishing so I’m not sure what degrees he has beyond the Masters. He may not have one. He’s of the old school—dearly loved his students. He’s a perfectly delightful chap you’ll find him if you write to him—somewhat naïve but absolutely endearing and charming and very very intelligent.

Back to the model—I want to focus on this and look at it in enough ways that it gives you something to chew on. This is important. I have been unable to express to you why passion is so important. It is the nature—not of our animal bodies, not of our minds, although we can have intellectual passions, they’re pretty feeble and frail. We can have emotional passions, but as you pointed out, a little emotion is a dangerous thing. That kind of red ray passion is quite without tact, or common sense, or a sense of the law—it is a portion of the animal vehicle.

In fact a great deal of this life is teaching this animal that is our own dear bodies the behavior to which we wish it to conform. But it’s still the body and it’s still just behaving. To circuit into that other body we need a shuttle. A shuttle is only available to people who have penetrated intelligent energy and intelligent infinity.

You penetrate intelligent infinity by doing inner work. What would cause us to do so-called “inner work?” Bodies, minds, emotions don’t necessarily need inner work—they need rest, they might need contemplation when there’s a crisis of some kind—but the action that is decided on is decided on and it happens and another day is always available to worry about it further. The intensity about things not seemingly connected with our immediate survival is all in the spirit or soul entity, which is a portion of our complex of entities.

It craves purified emotion. It craves polarity. It craves intense love. It loves intensely as focused as a laser, as lucid, as coherent, as unified, and our love for the Creator, in order to express spiritually, must partake in that same purified passion or emotion. Far from being dangerous, it is necessary for eternal life. Not for this animal form because we are dust, we are all fools, we all err, we all fail, and we will all die. And between now and then there is a good deal of pain. The pain of loss, the pain of being wrong, all the pains connected with learning and with getting to the end of a vigorous life and watching various portions of our abilities fade.

We can get very caught up in this—we can even become bitter. We can fear death. To me, fearing death is like being afraid of going to Disney Land. I’m not looking for angels and harps, to tell you the truth, it’s a nice thought, I wouldn’t mind doing six services a day, I love to sing and I can’t think of anything better to do than praise the infinite one. But I don’t think that’s it—I think we heal, we review the incarnation, we rest up and we do it again. And where we do it and what we’re doing is dependant upon how much light we have learned to use while in this body and how do you think we get to learn to use that light? By worship—by passionate, dedicated, persistent daily caring, loving worship. Praise and thanksgiving to our maker, to the mystery.

Faith is not belief—belief destroys faith.

Now let’s look at that. Belief is faith, which is a good thing—it’s simply the feeling that God is kindly, that there is a God, and that God thinks kindly towards us and our only necessary response is to rush back and think kindly of the Creator as well. And basically, let him help handle things. Let him let us know what he wants, and let us trust that what’s ours comes to us in its own time and its own way and it’s okay to paddle like heck to help things out, but not okay to create them without having any sense of the rightness that comes from this other life form. In other words, it doesn’t have a quality.

You see, faith takes this simply attitude and just says “I believe that everything is okay right now. It may not look like it, but things always turn out right, so let’s just abide.” But belief takes a center point and about it it solidifies de facto facts, tenants, dogma, and then because it has solidified into this and not that, it has become quantitative. And those with quantitative belief systems go around this earth believing they’re going to have to change everyone else’s quantitative belief systems to fit theirs so that all of these other people also will be able to make it into eternity.

Faith does not breed apostles or evangelists. Faith breeds witnesses to their own story. And witness to stories which they have used—each of us has used—in order to achieve the peace of mind, the dedication and purity of heart—whatever it is we have achieved, whatever gifts we have used, all of those are a living witness and they will affect people far more than anything we do ourselves.

So our very being as spirits or souls is involved in witnessing to the love of the Infinite One allowing that love to pour through us. In order to clear the way for that love to pour through us we must let go of a great many animal fears, fears concerning our survival—fears concerning being taken advantage of, pressed into a corner, held onto, or alternately driven out of a desirable situation, made uncomfortable, all those things, whether by a person or a societal entity like a company, a township, a nation with its laws, a state, a county, and so forth—groups.

Look at the war in Iraq and Kuwait. The belief systems of the Muslims are a perfect example of what the pope meant when he said “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.” I believe he meant “little” in the sense of petty, spiteful, or malicious, and I am here to say that war is a very good example of why a little faith is a dangerous thing.

Petty faith turns into a belief system which, like any other corporative entity, any corporation, any incorporation of members, discovers that its top priority is no longer to worship or to witnesses spiritually, but to preserve its own self—to continue. Once a church is built there isn’t any question in anyone’s mind that the same should be continued. So there’s a tremendous and normally inaccurate need to keep the church going. The church doesn’t need to keep going because it’s there—the church only needs to keep going if it’s doing something. If it’s out of gas, then the building doesn’t mean anything.

But people keep mistaking quantity for quality and there is no connection between the two. What we need in order to examine this model—this model which contains this other life form that we’re so interested in, you and I, is a new set of instrumentation that is able to measure quality rather than quantity. “The quality of mercy is not strained.” Shakespeare knew what he was talking about—it’s a quality. The quantitative version of wisdom is data, facts, observation, hypotheses, repetition, proofs, deductions, words, bits of information, choices to make, and it all dies with us, just like the illusion.

This other life form is imperishable. Its language is conceptual. Its truth is qualitative—its wisdom is qualitative, and I suppose I would call one “truth” and the other “fact”. Wisdom is a truth, but it certainly is not a fact. None of us is wise—we may say “there goes one of the wisest men I’ve ever met,” but I believe I would be a fool to say about anyone “there goes a completely wise man,” unless he’s moved out of his body altogether in which case I’m asking why he chose to have an incarnation if he doesn’t need it.

You see, we need these incarnations because we are still having difficulty coming up to speed on this soul self that we will fully realize, or more nearly fully realize in fourth density, and start working on it in earnest—this is just the basic choice. But you see, the basic choice involves the realization that what sexual passion is to the body, and intellectual passion is to the mind, and romance is to the emotions, truth and beauty and love and hope and light and unity and faith, forgiveness, compassion is to the soul.

Compassion simply means that you feel the intense emotions with someone else. You can put yourself in that person’s shoes and feel what that person is feeling with a totally open heart without judgment, without stint, without fear of injury. When you love like that the people you love are safe and out of the wind—they always have you. When you don’t love like that, you come and you go, because you’re still under freewill.

It takes a tremendous act of will to love. When someone says the marriage vows, one has little concept, I don’t think, of what is going on. What is going on is a tremendous opportunity to use another being as a mirror and to use yourself as the most honest and compassionate mirror you can to mirror back to the mate what you’re experiencing of your spouse’s journey and to the best of your spouse’s ability to reflect back to you its perception of your journey, and out of all of these various distorted perceptions out of the trust that nothing is said to hurt, out of the communication that follows, both learn and both become more harmonized and more and more we learn how to love in harmony.

A lot of self acceptance has to take place because the things that make us maddest about the other are making us madder because we are projecting onto another person the things that we really don’t like in ourselves a lot of the time. There always remains some kind of dregs, shall we say, in the bottom of the glass of things that we flat don’t like about the people we love the most.

Self acceptance breeds acceptance of other people’s foibles. We all have idiosyncrasies. But you see how it takes the profoundest passion simply to be faithful for a whole lifetime. You have to have some grasp of why you would do that. It isn’t convenient, certainly, it isn’t comfort because when you’re working together in honest you’re both changing, you’re both growing and you’re both often in pain.

It’s only people who don’t try to think or do anything that lead comfortable lives. The rest of us lead interesting lives to the extent of our appetite for interesting things, but we pay, we’re uncomfortable quite a bit of the time because we’re changing, we’re getting used to new things, we’re thinking new thoughts, we’re having to let go of old truths, old programs.

Oh yes, we very very much need to smile. Look at the war in Iran carefully, and you see it’s a war of love. A little faith is a belief system and there are several various Muslim belief systems just as there are different Christian belief systems. That portion of the world I believe is jihading like crazy, that is, moving into pretty obviously apocalyptic areas of holy war on the basis of its theories that there is one best way to the Infinite Creator and there aren’t any others.

A lot of Christians believe the same thing. It is a belief based in fear. In other words, you’re not going to get to heaven unless you do this, this and this.

Spirituality based on love is simple faith. It can’t explain everything, it can’t tell you a single word about the immediate experience of tabernacling with the Infinite Creator. You have to experience that one day at a time, just as you got manna one day at a time. “Give us this day our daily bread” is in the Lord’s Prayer, not simply to ask for food for the body, but to ask for food for the life form which we carry about on our, let us say, metaphysical shoulders, which has its points of entry though us, largely in the forebrain area, at least my forehead pulses a great deal, especially when I’m channeling so my guess is that it is being activated in some way. It could just be the pineal gland, I don’t know. There is some indication that the frontal lobes contain the entire history of our race and I know they move from the roots of mind and that sounds like the roots of mind to me.

So in order to explore the connections between our animal bodies’ infinite past, and our spirit’s infinite future, we meet in the infinite present moment. Notice I’m really distorting and destroying time here by the words I use (words don’t work). We sit in the present moment and instead of puzzling over the past or the future we allow the present to be revealed to us, and if you really open your eyes in this very moment and look around and listen with the most intensity you can, you will feel an electricity that you won’t believe.

It’s your soul self kicking in. You’re asking it to run the straight race. You’re asking it to pay attention and you will be surprised at the things that start coming to you when you ask this other life form, which is also you, to share it’s conversations—to let you in on at least a thing now and then, maybe at first in your dreams. Ask, just keep asking—if that is what you want. But be very careful. Don’t ask for it if you don’t want it.

But I think perhaps by this model you can begin to ask yourself—”all right, here are the things I’m sensing, what do they portend, what do they suggest, what do I seem to be hungering for in this self that is unknown to me but which I receive impulses from regularly.” Singing seems to make it feel better—laughing—worshipping—praising—giving thanksgiving, and then all of the sudden, we’re into the language of religion that is evocative of things of the Creator.

In my church, there are many of them. Incense for the nose, the candles, the beautiful cross, the beautiful panorama (at least in my Victorian Gothic church) all the beauty of the windows, all the glory that we can see, that we can feast our eyes on, the old dark wood, the beautiful carvings and the gothic, slightly monstrous but infinitely endearing gingerbread cathedrals and so forth that make up any church of this particular persuasion, the touch of the chalice, the touch of the hands upon your head at confirmation, the passing of the peace of the word, shaking other people’s hands, giving them little hugs, touching the hymnal, the use of a voice, making a joyful noise unto the Lord, the singing, the chanting, the saying of common prayer, and of course, we hear these wonderful words if you have a good priest, which we do and you’re able to hear, and the wonderful music the choir is able to produce wonderful music.

I knew what I was doing when I picked the church. I was looking for wonderful, evocative, environments for my soul’s food—it doesn’t have anything to do with the body. It isn’t one of the risks or gambles that one takes because one is sort of hedging the bet against death—”well, if eternity is true then I want to be there, so I go to church.” No, that’s not it, that’s the belief without the passion. The belief with the passion and compassion is faith—it is not restrictive, it is inclusive, it is universal. “Catholic” is just another word for “universal.” It applies to your enemies and your friends alike in the dark—all the same in absolute terms.

All things are to be loved, to be embraced, to be allowed to go if they do not come in the name of the Infinite Creator, but sent away with a blessing and to be kept close to the heart if they are indeed the treasures for which we are looking. We can’t store this food up—we have to have that passion every day—it doesn’t last. The only thing that lasts is the memory of those times that fruit came from our mind and we had an immediate experience…

(End of side 1 of tape.)

This solidification creates a swelling up of that love of faith, belief is a swollen up, sort of infected faith—infected facts, infected with quantities which say that the people who believe this are in and the ones that don’t are out. Faith would never do that.

But the holy war that is taking place in the Gulf right now is not simply the result of one area’s little faith and the terrible dangers that that brings, but the result of obvious evidence of the very little faith that is the strict beliefs of our leaders that seem to have concluded that there is some reason to be killing ourselves still. Which is unfortunate, because you see, our higher selves, our soul selves aren’t just Sadam’s brothers—we are Sadam and Sadam is us.

We are all love, we are all light—Sadam is just very distorted, but the distortion resonates with something that is in my personality, because I have 360 degrees of ability. I just have made certain choices, and Sadam has made other choices. Were my circumstances Sadam’s, were my culture Sadam’s, who knows?

And who knows that I might have made Bush’s choices—I do question his ability to reason within or outside of this illusion. I feel that there has been a distinct and palpable failure of politics—let’s put it that way. But the only reason they’ve succeeded in failing, if you take my meaning, is that people are willing to accept situational ethics—people are not that much aware that they have the option of working intensively within this incarnation on their soul selves.

That’s our true reason for being here. We’re not trying to bring this animal into the fourth density—we’re trying to bring the consciousness of this animal into being.

Metaphysical beingness is absolute—you either work within the relative and don’t realize that there is the possibility of something absolute or you realize that this higher life form that you’re experiencing is absolute, is going to express itself in absolute values, such as truth, beauty, and so forth, and that at the point that enough of us grasp the commonality of this soul self with all other soul selves and the inevitability of our need to harmonize every distortion so that we may form a social memory complex, which is the most loving way to treat each other in a society, is open ourselves up to each other, be vulnerable to each other, sort it all out, and be able to trust each other from that moment forward.

We’re learning how to do this very intensively in an illusion, so that the choices we make within this illusion, which enhance the ability of our higher self, or our soul, to work upon itself during this lifetime, the greater the actual change in bias or polarity to the consciousness which is unique to us at the end of this period. It’s a wonderful opportunity—it just feels very difficult sometimes.

So perhaps the awareness of the fact that there is another life form, extraterrestrial I don’t know. It’s certainly not terrain, there isn’t anything else on earth like that except seemingly in some ways dolphins and some whales. Others simply show rudimentary intelligence and language skills and so forth. It would be consistent with what our bodies could do without this moral impulse, ethical impulse, spiritual impulse, call it what you will.

Obviously, anything by Joseph Campbell is wonderful to read or listen to on this point, only I don’t think he covers it particularly. There is a book written by C. S. Lewis that tries to give a rationale for being a Christian, which is not that strong a work, actually, it is however, very engaging and very easy to read. I think it’s call “Mere Christianity” and in it I think he does do a fair job of treating some of these subjects, although not in a way to evoke the kind of clear model specified, itemized, this-is-how-it-is model, that delineates a way to think about this mystery and what our relationship to this mystery is.

I will just wait for the fallout from this because since I have been looking for this though and found it and examined it, it’s been two days, and I’ve thought of 200 implications that I hadn’t thought of before, at least, it’s really a very good, evocative concept, so I’ll just leave you to it and sorry that it took me this long to finish processing your question, but your questions are good and the one about “why should we have passion, isn’t that pretty dangerous?”

This is the nitty gritty. This is where the rubber hits the road. This is where you either run out of gas or you fill up the ol’ tank with something called faith, that you had to buy on the black market with money you don’t have. You just have to jump off a cliff and say “okay, have faith” and then act as if you had faith.

Don’t take offense, don’t give offense, take it easy, keep it simple, take it one day at a time and if you have an idle moment and you’re thinking something negative, find something to give thanksgiving for. Find something to thank God for, find something to praise God for. Sunshine is always a good one, but today is a cloudy day so what can I give God thanks and praise for? I’m alive, Steve.

As Carla dictates this, she is flat on her back, unable to even use a telephone—has had over 16 surgeries to her wrists, ankles and neck, to correct problems brought on by rheumatoid arthritis—this was her state of being for almost three years from 1989 through 1992

You’re alive and you’re an excellent correspondent for someone who is working on the spiritual self. I give thanks for that. I give thanks for this nice warm house. I give thanks for the ability I have to get cluttered up with all my stuff. I don’t buy things, you know, I just take what I have and put it around. About the only thing that Jim and I buy on an active basis is personal clothing and music which we both dearly love. The furniture and the pictures and this kind of thing are all given to us. My house is full of things that people gave me and it’s the memory of the people that I have when I look around at all my things that gives me the joy. Not the things. The things are nice to have and I’m really lucky to have them. I’m lucky to have a TV and I give God thanks for all these things.

But I give God thanks many more times when I look at these things, for my mother and Don Elkins’ mother, and my friend Jerry S., my beloved former in-law Mom Dewitt, and Jim and Christmas a year ago, Mom and Christmas this year, Jim, all the people I love that are in my life and the things they’ve given me that keeps them fresh in my mind and thanksgiving and it goes on and on.

There is so much to give thanks for, Steve. It doesn’t wind you up into a little knot—it relaxes you into allowing yourself to feel that service to the lord is the definition of perfect freedom, just like it says in the book of common prayer. It doesn’t take a lot of prayer to become acquainted with how good it feels to attempt to serve someone. The only reason it ever feels less than wonderful is that often our attempts to help fail. That has to be taken into account and accepted. We don’t do good for a reason, we do good because we have faith that by sharing ourselves and loving our fellow life forms in their totality we are sharing with and loving the Infinite Creator.

If all the men and all the women in the desert had turned from belief to faith and say “we are all persons in common and the only bond that should unite us is the bond of love—I put my weapons down.” If and when that happens, nobody will need third density any more because we will have learned that there is nothing to fear. What’s the worst that could happen? We get to enter larger life—now there’s a tough one. Other people say “you might die, you might get killed”—what a thought! I thought we were going to live forever.

When you get down to the nitty-gritty, why are we fearing and why aren’t we loving? A simple lack of passion for beauty, for virtue, for undiminished good.

Talk to you later, ol’ chap. Work with this model—this one may be fruitful for you. God bless—lots of love to you and your bride and to your kids, and let me hear from you when you get inspired,

Cheerio,

Carla

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