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Carla’s Niche

Carla’s Letter Tapes

CAVEAT: Warning! These letters have not been edited by Carla. Expect errors.

Letter to KB

May 24, 1991

Dear K,

To move directly to the crux of what mechanical details show up first to be dealt with as to housekeeping and so forth, upon reading all of your letter, a fascinating one, and the materials that you sent with the letter, I would like to address your need for doing other work at this time.

It does indeed sound to me as though you and I would be extremely happy collaborators and would have a great time working together on ideas, on concepts, on those infinite things that we kind of corral with words, but when we are working with them we are doing a deeper work than words and I am indeed at my very happiest, content and most incisive when I am collaborating with someone else on ideas.

My lack of worldly ambition and the degree of non-curiosity that I have because of a very strong mystical nature, combine to make it unlikely that I, by myself, would ever create anything useful for other entities, because I don’t have the need to have people telling me that I’ve done that so I rest usually unless I can enter into collaboration with another intelligence that interests me in a kind of feeling of abundance. Yes, that was a marvelous kind of concept that passed through my mind but there’s a lot more where that came from and in the meantime I’d like to stay in the moment.

However, this kind of correspondence would involve a long period of listening for you in real time which is the fault of my being unable to type or write. You have to listen to me in real time. You could, perhaps speed the machine up a little bit so I sound like Donald Duck, but other than that it’s just going to take a little while and it sounds like you have your plate really full.

So if you would like to shelve this discussion and move it along later when you have accomplished more of what you’re planning right now in manifestation, that would be perfectly fine with me. Just put our correspondence away and at sometime in the future if I am still interesting you by what I have to say, by all means, let’s take it up. But I certainly would not want to take time away from the creative use of it by you in working with other scientists because that is probably a relatively chaotic task since scientists are, by definition, working with crayons.

However, there are real scientists in this world; people who truly do want to know why and aren’t going to sit on the scientific method as if it were the fulcrum of our creation. That particular atlas done shrugged.

However, I will go through this letter so that you’ll have something to start with later, or, if you simply just want to correspond with me because you think it might be a good change perhaps from some other kinds of correspondence, fine. I just wanted to make it absolutely clear that there is no need to get back to me in the next two years. I’ll be around and I doubt if I will have declined in my mental powers, as one might call them.

Thank you for understanding about my difficulty in going out and buying a book that I wasn’t going to read right away. I greatly appreciate that. I really didn’t think anyone would understand that. People usually don’t. They think I’m splitting hairs and being overly precise, but I’m very much aware of what is at stake in my particular life and if there is anything I can do to live impeccably, I will. Heaven knows I am peccant many, many times over. We often fail. Hopefully I never quit trying. That’s the point.

Don’s death. The reason for his death in short was a weakness that none of the three of us saw. Jim, Don and I had realized fairly quickly into the Ra sessions that the Law of One material was taking its toll on me physically, not mentally, not spiritually, not emotionally, but physically I was losing 2-3 pounds per session. I also had a vast number of easily energizable physical distortions which had been preincarnatively chosen to slow me down and keep me in one place and make me an inner worker rather than an outer worker, because my instinct of nurturing is so strong that until the arthritis started kicking up, which was immediately after I went to work for Don Elkins in 1968, I would be out doing volunteer work and so forth, all of the time.

It was not an illness in me that I had to feel needed, it was positive, it was an overflowing, I felt very blessed and very much wanted to help and I worked with mental patients and so forth, all of the time and a lot of church work.

So we all knew, all three of us that I was likely going to be the weak link in the harmony of the threesome. Our harmony was close enough to perfect that I cannot find a chink in it to this day. So as a group it would have been impossible to break us apart in any way. As an individual, although I certainly was experiencing greetings of intensification of various bodily ailments, and increasingly so, this did not cause me undue concern.

I think it concerned Jim and Don more than it did me. I have lived through all kinds of things and I was perfectly willing to live through whatever had to be lived through in order to be doing this work. We all knew that these were golden days and that we were doing work that we really, really wanted to do.

Towards the end of 1983 Don, who had spent 15 years with me refraining from mentioning anything complimentary about me, anything affectionate or loving or positive on the basis of the fact he felt it would spoil me to be complimented, he began a transition in consciousness that put him at risk in a way that none of us had expected.

The first time I saw Don Elkins I had a very strong bonding reaction to him. The reaction was that I felt that that was the loneliest and painful consciousness whose eyes I had ever looked into. I felt infinitely sorrowful for him and had an enormous impulse to mercy and charity on his behalf.

It was not love at first sight; it was a kind of unification at first sight. Don saw in me simply that we would be together for the rest of his life and we thought the rest of mine.

However, Don was not able to take on a colleague. Although I never accepted him as an authority figure, my devotion to him often had me mimicking obedient behavior because that was the way to get along with Don. You just picked up and went on. Don didn’t speak much one way or the other. Whatever he did, he did and there wasn’t any discussion about it. It was a very closed system.

Now, since he was the wisest man I had ever met and since I had never known him to be wrong in giving anyone any advice at any time during the 15 years we lived together, I allowed him to do that because not allowing him to do that would have entailed my leaving him. There were only very narrow tolerances within which he could abide with a female of the species.

He very much wanted to stay with me. As a matter of fact, as a man who was 14 years older than I he was of a different generation; the generation that married its women, kept them on pedestals, put them in the home as domestic goddesses and gave them everything they could.

He didn’t want to be married; he didn’t want to be tied down and although he did ask me to marry him at the very beginning of our relationship I had gauged the degree of enthusiasm which accompanied this proposal and suggested that he think about it for three days and ask me again. If he asked me again, I would say yes. He thought about it for three days and told me that I was right, he did not want to be married, he did not want to be tied down.

So we became unmarried together. He lived the life of a celibate, I did not. That was worked out with careful and honest communication and agreements made and those agreements were solid enough to hold for our entire relationship, giving me a good lesson in non-orthodox integrity.

By the 15th year of our relationship he was firmly settled in his own mind as the provider. We had cats and he dearly loved the cats and he would always speak in terms of having to work because he had cat food to buy. He was very proud of his ability to give me a nice life and smooth sailing financially. We had a very comfortable income as airline pilots do (or used to).

In 1983 not only did his health begin to bother him, he was, I think, just getting older, and was feeling some twinges, some aches and pains that were just not going away, not serious ones, but they coincided unfortunately, with Eastern Airlines’ long slide into bankruptcy and dissolution.

He became depressed, absolutely positive that he was full of some terrible disease that was going to kill him and that his job was going to be taken from him and he would have no recourse.

Because he had never accepted my being a colleague which I allowed him to do (it simply wasn’t worth the communication to talk to him in any other way), he simply could not take my word for it that he was not functioning well mentally and that he needed medication to keep him from the worst of the affects of his condition, which was very suicidal.

And somebody intelligent enough to work with Don in a therapeutic situation was unable to convince him to take any of the medicines that doctors suggested for him and I was barely unable to secure for him a reasonable therapist. He could not believe the things that I was saying because that would indicate that he really had lost it and that he really did need to depend on somebody else. That was the fatal flaw.

He had never learned to trust another person’s opinion even if he realized in some way that his own was lacking so he continued going on his personal opinions and doing what he felt he should do which was to stop eating, to stop going out of the house, to stop even coming out of his room. He attempted very sadly to sweep me off my feet and marry me at that time, but his intelligence was so far compromised that I was concerned lest marriage be the catalyst for his losing what little sanity he had left. I was in a very awkward position on the 16th of the last year of our relationship together.

I followed the laws of freewill. I didn’t make him doing any. I let him do what he wished. It was the hardest thing I ever did. It drove me, in fact, to a nervous breakdown but I did not interfere with his free will. And I think that was a very important lesson for me to learn.

During that time Don was by most effective psychic greeting being led down the path of regrets: “I should have married her, I should have given her children, I should have given her a beautiful house, I should have given her wonderful things.” That last year was full of “I love you,” and it’s amusing that although I would have loved to have heard that well, hearing that from him ill, made me feel even more pity on his behalf because of the kind of brokenness that it had obviously taken him in terms of mental health in order to come across this basic simply truth, that he was not simply an observer, that he did have emotions, that he was part of the illusion.

He died on a November night. I had been begging with him to go into the hospital and I had been down on my knees. I’d been for some time begging on that particular morning and to no avail. So I left and Jim stayed behind to make sure there wasn’t anything he could do for Don. Don had lost about 1/3 of his body weight. He was still moving around with a lot of discomfort. He was basically starving himself to death, but he was still rational in his own way.

And Jim said words of concern about the entire situation and how much he felt that even to just get eating again (he hadn’t eaten in six months) he needed to be in a hospital. And Don said that rather than go into a hospital that he would kill himself. It was the first time that either one of us had heard of his specifically stating that he was going to kill himself and it was what we hoped he would say in good enough time to get him into a hospital where he could ride out these awful feelings that he had because he was unmedicated and unable to cope with the situation.

Unfortunately, when machinery of justice starts working, it is intolerably bullish. Jim had to go down to the police station and sign a mental inquest warrant saying that the man had said he was going to commit suicide and that was the reason that he would like this person evaluated. It was going to be served that afternoon. We did not know it was going to be served by four police cars full of people, nor did we know that Don had gone out and purchased a gun.

When the people came, I came in with them and was going up the stairs when Don appeared at the top of the stairs with the gun pointed at his head. I reached out towards him and was moving towards him but not as fast as the lady in the police uniform right behind me was pulling me back, so I was pulled away from him which is probably why I’m still here talking to you.

Before the night was out, there were no fewer than 15 police vehicles in this little spot of village in the wilds of Kentucky, 40 some police men and woman, all because of one man. They would not let me talk to him on the telephone because I was treating him as I always had as a perfectly sensible human being. I wasn’t going to lie to him—he knew what the situation was and I was trying to convince him that it was really worth toughing out.

The police trauma team (or whatever they call it) took over immediately, banished me from any communication with him and began giving him sugary pap, things that couldn’t possibly be true just to get him to come out of the house and put down his gun.

Don was an old campaigner and he didn’t believe any of that.

Once they took me off the radio he began to lose interest in everything. The night grew cold and he asked permission to go outside and give the swat team some extra jackets that he had—he collected six or seven men’s jackets and was allowed to do—he wanted to make sure people weren’t going to be cold.

When they told him that they were going to get him to come out now by using gas, he asked if it would hurt the cats and asked for time to feed the cats, and when 19 of our windows were broken by the teargas canisters, an unusually large number of canisters for a little bungalow, he walked out into the back yard and immediately pulled the trigger as he held the gun against the temple of his head. They were able to get a heartbeat so basically he died on the way to the hospital.

It was not his finger pulling the trigger. Partially it was a number of police aggravating the situation until pulling the trigger was the only honorable way out. At the deepest level it was a psychic greeting that was effective.

I will miss that man until I see him again. I never had a relationship with anyone else that was even similar to my relationship with Don. It was a real privilege to know him and I just loved that man so much.

But that does not preclude his being taken from me by the same kind of psychic greeting that had disturbed the contact with those of Ra time and again but had never stopped it. This did stop it because Ra had said several times during the course of our communication that I was not to attempt to contact Ra unless it was with this specific threesome.

When all the details shook out I made a trust out of the insurance and so forth that he had left me and Jim and I now live on that in order that we may continue our work with Don. Working without Don I feel that we are able to work at a different level, not as broad or profound a level, not as advanced, if you will, but perhaps more able to touch other people who could not deal with the language of the Law of One contact. But we pretty well are just carrying on and working for Don, if you will.

So you don’t like IQ tests either. (Working with crayons again.) I haven’t taken but one, but I did take a series of one after the other, when I was eight years old. I really never needed again to go through some kind of narcissist looking at the intelligence. My intelligence is such that there isn’t much that needs to be said about it—people pretty well grasp that I don’t know how, I don’t worry about it.

Quite right that we are bound by our biases in our perceptions, however the process of perception has fascinated me since I can remember and I am gazing at it steadily for my 48th year, I’ll be 48 in July. So you are dealing with a person who is working in your field in a sort of sideways manner. I have no claims whatsoever to have a scientific knowledge.

I do have a marked proclivity for doing well in the sciences, tested by another one of those tests that people use, this one being the graduate record examination which one has to take before one can receive an advanced degree in the United States. Masters degree and doctorate level candidates all have to take the graduate record exam. It is a multiple choice problem solving sort of test. One of the tests is in verbal skills; the other is in mathematical skills. I had never taken any mathematics at all, I had gone through arithmetic up to plane geometry and algebra but that is as far as I’d gotten.

However, taking that test along with all the scientists that were in that group that year I was at the 93rd percentile of excellence in mathematical knowledge which simply indicates that I have a knack for knowledge which probably broadens my ability to look sometimes at the extremely minute processes sometimes of perception.

My tendency as a speaker of truth is to move directly toward the mystery that lies beyond all perception. However, especially when working with intellectuals, either to mystic Christians or Buddhists, I find the ability to break processes down into the distinct parts to be a very helpful means of communication with an intellectual.

But I have never been at all certain that there is anything outside of my sense organs, my eyes, my ears, that the things on my wall, the kitty cats perched around on the furniture, the half-drunk tumbler of water, as far as I’m concerned may be there and may not be there. In any specific sense if one looks at what things actually are, that is space, some sort of galactic setup of atoms and so forth, there isn’t anything there. There are fields of energy coming from things and that I imagine to be being more real of the ways to conceive that there is something there besides my creative intelligence.

Now you’re talking about individuality ceasing when one leaves the manifested realm. That is also my experience. And I quite agree with you not that we not only should be desirous of expressing, exploring and magnifying the learning connected with unpleasantness as well as pleasantness.

It has been my deliberate action for a long time. I do not fish myself out of difficult situations if I don’t think that is far and away the best thing to do. I’m very slow to move. I’m too interested in watching and since a lot of things happen to a person with rheumatoid arthritis are unpleasant since I just came back from the hospital where I cheated death by a couple of hours, I had a complete blockage of my intestine which miraculously disappeared just as they were about to perform exploratory surgery, and since I had allowed that to get as bad as I could take it before I went to the doctor because I simply don’t like to go to doctors and hospitals I would say yes, I am eager to experience what people would call unpleasant experiences because dharma is dharma to quote a Buddhist friend of mine.

It isn’t what is happening to you, it’s that it is happening that is important and to pay attention to that is to give it the respect that it both deserves and requires.

My young childhood also was a masterpiece of convincing argumentation that nothing that my parents did was correct. Any choices that I made would have to be other than the choices that my parents were making because they were very drunk, very argumentative, and very unpleasant to each other.

There was not the slightest temptation, therefore, to be one of the herd, so it looks like you and I grew up pretty much similarly. I know of a good many people who have been damped down by circumstance or the opinion of others in childhood who assumed that the ones who were critical or not understanding were right and they were wrong. My reaction was not that reaction. My reaction was that they were wrong and I was right.

I didn’t indulge much in doubts about that because I knew within myself the way one is privileged to feel when one is working on the discipline of the personality, working to be a positive option in people’s lives.

I never conceived of any worldly ambition except to have six children and I never had even one, but I have a lot of people around the world that I correspondence with or that I have in the past, and I do stay at home now, I do contemplate I do rest and I do channeling work that comes before me to do.

(Reads) Now you are moving towards the reason for the perceptive error that is movement of light or anything else is apparent. You say that Russell said “Consciousness creates an idea and manifests this idea by dividing the one force into two opposing forces. All manifested things whatsoever are the result of these antipithal pairs of what we call light.” Yes, that goes along with what Larsen speaks of, “The apparent solidity of various manifestations is the result of the crystallization of this light as perceived by our senses.” I’m okay with that.

Then he says “Every action is voided as it occurs, when we act as we desire within certain limits of the Law of One.”

The energy of Russell is good, however, I have difficulty in coercing myself into contemplating the possibility of my knowing anything about reality. I think the highest understanding to which we are privy in this illusion is that we can’t know anything.

So you may see that although I see very clearly the Law of One material and the Walter Russell Law of One material and the Casey Law of one stuff, all working out very well together and bolstering and enriching one another’s systems, personally, as a channel, as a person that should not be confused with the voice of Ra (because that was channeled material, that was not my personality) my personality wants to go one step further and say the fact that we seem to have some apparent higher knowledge (inaudible) also manifestation, in other words, eternity itself is not appropriately seen by any culture.

Eternity or infinity does not have duration because that would be to put it in a dynamic situation—long short, beginning, end—it is certainly not a continuation of life because life is opposed by death and death by life, it is not eternal light, because light has darkness.

The figure zero or ought has always seemed to me to be a satisfactory look at eternity or infinity because it is a null meaningless symbol that lies in between positive numbers and negative numbers. It is a place that is not there but it is made, why? When I look at the questions that we human’s ask, questions to which there is no possible answer, I see in us the greatest hint as to the nature of the “I am” consciousness that is infinite.

If I had to draw a figure, it would be the zero with a carefully made exclamation point in the middle of it. That there is nothing, but in that nothing we are ecstatic and affirmative.

(Side one of tape ends.)

… the first original thought. In terms of ultimate cause I wash my hands of the venture. I do not believe I can state, comprehend or communicate causality. I can only aver that there is a nominal universe that overshadows all the manifestations that I know and which I don’t.

Now I realize that you are working on the idea that the things that we don’t know are sort of the basis for a scientific look at first cause or characteristics of the infinite state. I believe we can learn a great deal about how to love and serve each other by studying these and other precepts but I do not believe we shall find satisfactory knowledge this side of infinity, but shall only find ourselves experiencing and being unable to express the experience that state which we cannot name and for which I for one have no need to be in except when life and the catalyst that I have experienced lately puts me in an exalted situation for some hours or days.

I accept that when it is here; I no longer feel frustrated because I cannot bring back the absolute perfection that is in that state and the seemed perfection of all manifestation seen from that state.

It certainly is true that scientists love to compartmentalize—I am a librarian and I freely admit the joy of sorting and cataloging things. It’s a wonderful feeling of control over the uncontrollable because you are able to put a specific identification number on this particular book that indicates precisely what it’s about.

It’s one of those artificial things in life which one may do like tallying up accounts and having them come out to the penny where for once in your life ambiguity has no place. A very satisfying sort of thing to do as a balance to all these various statements that I do not know anything and that I’m ecstatic about that.

When I was in college I was beginning to get the picture about knowledge. I love learning things, you see, so my enthusiasm has carried me a great way, but in my second year in college it became obvious to me that I could relate any one thing to any other thing in the arts, sciences, politics, especially literature, whatsoever. I could, given a bit of time for contemplation on the subject, take apples and oranges and make a tour de force out of the comparison and contrast in those facets of relationship.

I remember I was reading a book called “The Lying Twig,” which was not one of your fairy tales, it was a 20th Century dreary from England, worse than Clockwork Orange really but the same sort of thing. I had also fallen rather in love with a vast old many volume set of Haslett in the library stacks and his essays on various things which were wonderful. I was very much enjoying his play, his marvelous amusement in doing the grading of essays that he was excelling at so much.

I took a volume at random from those many volumes (I think the eleventh) and opened it at random and read it. The essay was on semi-precious stones, as I recall, not something I knew anything about in the first place. However, what I wanted to prove to myself was that even with an extremely good teacher, which I had, I would be able to do excellent work writing a paper about “The Lying Twig,” the modern novel, comparing it and contrasting it to this essay that I picked out of nothing.

I wrote the article, feeling a bit cynical, but curious, handed it in, got an A+ on it with a lot of discussion of my creativity and my deep understanding of the pretty punk novel, I would say, ugly little book, sad book. Haslett is anything but.

When that had occurred there was nothing I could think of more unlike unless it was something in another language (but thought that was stretching it a little too far) I was satisfied that if you could associate everything with everything then everything was part of one thing. And at that point I released by grasp on the memory of what I learned. I have very little trivia in my head, I have all too little culture, all too little remembrance of history and literature and art and culture because I ceased respecting these orders of information and the arranging of them at that time. I tend not to be impressed by facts, I am always in love with people who have opinions falling out of them because it gives me something to think about and I do enjoy thinking and feeling, but I have no basic respect for the materials.

This may have cost me some in my study but there is no way for me to be false to what I grasp and so I am fairly stubborn personally about looking at manifestation, not with an eye to ultimate cause, but with an eye to experiencing and perceiving as richly and accurately as possible. I truly do want to perceive what is happening in front of my eyes. I find that compelling. I do not often find books compelling, although of course there always are the ones that are truly compelling, but beyond that compulsion to respect and admire and esteem those of high intelligence who have done excellent work, I have no need to find out where the higher truth is.

My interest in manifestation is in ethics.

Now you reason that since reality that is not manifest to us can become manifest to us, as our nature or character or consciousness changes, you think this might also hold true for other environments. It does seem quite obvious to me that there is life everywhere and that that life is organized in fields and that these fields are as close as we can come to grasping the nature of the energy that is in manifestation, or I’m happy to adjust that to perceived or apparent manifestation.

I have always thought everything was alive. I’ve been talking to trees and rocks and plants and machines and cars as well as people, of course, as long as I can remember, and things always seemed quite alive to me. I spent a lot of time as a child hugging trees; I was very fond of trees.

Now here you are talking about not being sure that you want to start up a long range correspondence, and I’m behind you on that. You don’t need to talk to me right now. I’m interesting, you’re interesting, it would be fun. But if you’ve got something that you want to do, I really don’t think I can help you with that.

I did enjoy reading the Paul Solomon material that you sent. I thought there were a number of points to be made there, but since I want to keep this to one tape, I’m not going to make them unless I finish this letter itself.

So if you want to get a number of physicists together to talk about new light on space and time and physics and so forth, that is a monster job. Everybody is not at an equally enlighten position of focus and some have egos that clash with other egos at various levels of competition which tend to limit collaboration. When people not only think something but think they need to convince someone else of its truth, the truth itself has been irremediably compromised as far as I’m concerned.

The only way I think we should ever share information back and forth is to come right splat out with it, whatever it is that we think, but without any anticipation of anyone’s agreeing with something that we say, merely the joy of sharing perception, that is satisfactory. You do not find a large number of scientists who are that relaxed about positions and processes that they feel they understand about which they feel they can talk and about which they do feel they are correct. You run into the petty problems of “this doesn’t agree with that,” and “that doesn’t agree with this,” and systematically splinter the collaboration apart with each person who lacks any ability to listen and to listen without prejudice.

It’s going to be a tough one there, K, and you’ll probably need every single bit of energy you’ve got to do that, so just put me aside, I’ll keep. My treasure is in an earthen vessel but it is not prone to rust.

Interesting that your reading said you should set up a school of initiates as part of the work. Don and I, before Jim came, did not think in terms of initiates, but simply in terms of those that could work with us to unify science and spirituality as it obviously, to us, was intended to be seen, as one thing. We only got as far as three, one other person, but that was enough to draw in a good deal of decent and to me, subjectively helpful information.

I’m impressed by the Law of One sessions for the simple reason that as a cosmology it is the only internally consistent cosmology of which I am aware at this time and you know how very behind in my reading I am, so that’s not saying much.

The key difficulty to working on deeper knowledge and more expansive formulas of the manifested illusion and so forth has to do with the fact that the unconscious intuitive water-based nature of the unconscious, is, in its primary physical manifestation reduced or diminished in importance or just as bad, romanticized, placed on a pedestal and separated from the nitty gritty day-to-day life of the men who are keeping those wonderful beautiful woman on those lovely pedestals.

I do not wish to crack down hard on priests because they are the sons of a tradition that is so vastly patriarchal that when one reads Paul’s Epistles in the bible, for instances, and I know people get very upset about things Paul said about women in the churches, but you have to understand what was happening at that time—women were chattel, they were property. In the Synagogue they were not even allowed in the same church with the men.

Paul doesn’t want them up there behind a priest; on the other hand, he let them in the church. If we could be as before hand with the liberation of both women and men from stereotypes we would find ourselves in a much more spacious consideration and point of view.

I am very glad that F. M. was introduced by you to the Scientific and Medical Network because he is, as I said, not the absolutely brightest person I’ve ever met but certainly one of the most dedicated and loving and a person like that deserves all the help possible.

Now as I go down to the bottom of Page 2, you’re talking about “attempts to define cause.” And you say you’re not interested in doing that mathematically but will leave it to others. My question is: Is there a way to discuss infinite concepts with words? I do not believe that there is.

You said “… (inaudible) and hence thought forms are the blueprints of matter, thus consciousness of mind, thought, thought forms, the vortex and then matter is the process of manifestation. Only matter is manifested, the remainder are the unmanifested cause.”

Well, you define “cause” with specific words. “Consciousness,” “Mind,” “Thought,’ “thought forms,” “the vortex of our biases and our field of consciousness and then the matter.” But is that really a discussion of cause? I would be more than a little careful of saying that we can discuss cause. I am not sure we can do anything but celebrate the mystery. That any work through which we go to determine what came first, what caused what, is going to move us back to the chicken and the egg, but not into the mystery of the chicken and the egg.

So your basic goal is to reestablish a nature compatible science that understands and complies with nature’s law. That is a highly admirable aim. Science has been from its beginning as pure science of the aim of controlling nature. By definition this would seem to be having no reference to the compatibility of the means of control and the characteristics of nature that need to be understood and with which one needs to cooperate.

The greatest dangers I can see in this quest is that people are not generally capable of grasping fundamental work on the philosophy of science and instead would take a sentence or a concept and try to apply it to something specific which would doggeralize, bowdlerize, if you will, the theoretic work that you are doing.

I believe you are quite correct in stating that although a non-pollutant energy source has been at least assured by some to have been created and it would appear that indeed it has been created. I would also agree that the misuse of it is as inevitable as its presentation to the world as we know it.

Any technology is abusive in that it focuses on the way of making choices which is the provenance of the brain, the bio-computer, which means that one is eternally sorting and reclassifying and hierarchically judging types of knowledge, levels of knowledge, sorts of knowledge, leaving one in increasingly petty disputes over this and that. Meanwhile those who are grasping the big picture are generally grasping the big picture because they have an ambition that that big picture may forward, and that is almost certainly, going to be abusive. I agree with you completely.

I did some research for Andrea Puharich on ELF and Tesla and so forth and did some editing for him on a book he wrote about Tesla which he can’t get published, along with a bunch of other books he can’t get published. He works very hard, but he’s pretty well shut down at this point in the way of publishing. Heaven knows what he’s doing, he’s a born player. Fiddling around I suppose with the international situation.

At any rate, I am aware that these powers exist, that they are crystal, and that is prone to abuse and is abused even now. I can only pray that we hold each other up with encouragement and affirmation and do the best spot of work that we can, and then have the grace to let that be that, without needing compliments or criticism or even comments unless it is from a collaborative person who is wanting to say “Now I challenge that and this is what I think,” which sparks the first person to say, “Now that’s an interesting thought.” That is the most fun I ever have and I don’t find too many people to play with.

So if you knock on my door and say you want to play and give me a bunch of ideas, I’ll be in there pitching, but I really want to encourage you to feel that you need to get back to me or that I will lose interest in talking about these things. It’s unlikely, since I haven’t thought about anything else in my life.

As to the Law of One material that you sent, I have no quarrel with it whatsoever. I could pick on semantics but I’m not of a mind to do that. When we look at the brain about the only opinion that I have that I have not seen other people having is not that the bi-cameral brain, if that’s what you call it, the two sides of the brain, is illusory. I know men and women use both left and right in their brain, some better than others.

But I think that the kind of sideways thinking, or intuition or inspiration or indigo ray work in consciousness, however, you want to express that, does seem to be using the supposedly unused forebrain, the front lobe, because I have a constant pulse in the third eye position and have had all my life and when I’m channel or when I’m engaged in any kind of energy transfer, whether it’s sex with my dear husband, or communication with a colleague or teaching to someone who needs to hear certain words put in ways in order that they may cope, I am seemingly working from that basic stance.

I don’t know. I would guess that in terms of bi-cameral brain, the rational and logical portion of my brain is dominant because it is that portion of the brain which one brings to making the mundane decisions, the little decisions. It is equally clear to me that when I’m making a life-changing decision the portion of my intelligence I use is the heart, the intuition, the feeling, because there lies, not knowledge, but wisdom, which is in itself infinite.

Again, you quote some things on the sad fact that men and women are supposedly those who think differently. We both know that isn’t true. We both know, however, that there are cultural reasons for us to be tempted to think differently. This does not have to be a temptation that is always true and effective, but we first have to see the temptation, we first have to see the shallowness of any chauvinism concerned with sex, since we are male and female and expressing simply in manifestation one or the other.

I myself am a very female female. Fond of staying at home. Fond of dreaming and doing nice things for people and just basically having no desire whatsoever to excel in the world of letters. Always puzzled my teachers very much, but there you are.

(Reads) “We must endeavor to change our beliefs based on faith and information to faith based on knowledge.”

I do not feel that it is our job in this illusion to believe. I feel that it is our job in this illusion to focus on faith. Not a faith that is because of anything, but a faith that lives in a void, in thin air, on its own. This eliminates argument, fear, and hesitation and it sharpens the eye, however, I take your point, obviously. If we believe something because of this and this and this, then we probably ought to look at how we feel about that at a level below all the intellectual reasons.

Now you say, “Our focus of attention is outwards towards complexity instead of inwards towards simplicity.” This is not actually true for me. My focus varies and as I look at complexity, again I make many connections which enable me to begin to see the pattern that this information has or that this focus has and to recognize the deeper spiritual principle involved in that kind of pattern.

So it, indeed, if one is thinking as I do, tends towards complicity rather than complexity.

I can hardly get behind knowledge is mind, idea, unexpressed. I simply do not feel that the languages of this planet are capable of discussing knowledge. If we can talk about it, we’re not talking about reality. (My personal opinion.)

I very much enjoyed your “Ocean of Life,” it reminds me of a Paramahansa Yogananda chant which I changed to suit myself. (Carla sings—words are inaudible) that’s a nice one to be going on inside your head. It’s a very good one for calling to remembrance the wonderful reality that lies in mystery for us.

So the rest of your letter is very interesting, but things with which I am somewhat familiar and judging from the time on the clock on the wall, it behooves me to have Jim keep this in a file against the day when you do choose to continue correspondence because it would be a good place to start.

I wish you the greatest of spacious points of view and the greatest amount of charity and love and patience as you go about doing what you will be attempting to do. I encourage you to keep your sense of humor (real important when working with sciences) and watch the egos move up and down with equanimity. I am sure that you will be able to help many of these people at least to perceive what they haven’t perceived yet with their great dependence upon repeatable objective reference rich situations. They can prove it works, they just don’t know how.

A lot of people, a lot of good scientists really don’t focus on that. Were I a scientist that would be riveting to me.

Let’s see, a little discussion of what we’re up to here. We have our Sunday meditations and the contact that we have at this point is a very beneficent one which states that it is a principle made up of those of Ra and students of theirs with whom I had been in contact before I contacted Ra; a group that gave its name to me as “Latwii,”. Latwii is supposedly of the wisdom density, whereas Ra is of the density of unity.

I could not carry Ra without definite chance of damage to myself without Don because of the trance state which I have no idea how to create in and of myself. It has simply happened to me and I do not have the appropriate means to examine that and the safeguards involved.

However, I can channel a fifth density entity consciously and so I remain conscious and work with this principle made up of the question going to Latwii and Ra, those involved in both of those groups, Ra sharing their concepts with Latwii and Latwii sharing some of their concepts too and giving as advance a teaching as I am capable of receiving at this point.

An exciting development has been the discovery I made of a colleague. There are mighty few colleagues in my field (which has very little to do with the New Age) that are truly worthwhile. This woman wrote me and sent me some of her things after she read the Channeling Handbook and it was obvious that this woman was wonderful. She channels a Buddhist inner guide named Aaron. Aaron and Q’uo have gotten together for a weekend now as well as Barbara and I, the channel, and have found just a glorious excitement in letting the two talk back and forth on a single subject.

This switching back and forth is very helpful I think, to people who are in the quagmire of the New Age and are looking for a place to put their paddle because we kind of triangulate on information if you’re looking at it first as a Buddhist and then as a kind of vaguely tactfully Christian type of contact, which I think that both Ra and Latwii are. I think the whole Confederation of Planets is probably just angelic, but we ran out of having a great liking for angels so they had to find something that looked more high tech and would get people’s attention. It’s all about mystery by whatever name.

I am working on “A Book of Days” that I inadvertently created a couple of years ago working on my tuning procedure. I wanted to get it deeper into my bones, my marrow, so that I would be more thorough goingly stable and single minded as I came to the opening of channel so that I could do the best possible job of tuning in the appropriate communication and because I would have spent perhaps ten minutes working to put myself in the appropriate state of mind from which I could be a metaphysical infinite being.

I felt that it was more in accord with spiritual principles to give that energy back to the Creator immediately so I would channel just for a minute or three and Jim recorded them and eventually there came to be I suppose more than 400 of them before I was satisfied that I didn’t need to practice for a while.

So Jim had in mind a Book of Days …

(Tape ends.)

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