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ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF THIS TRANSCRIPT: This telepathic channeling has been taken from transcriptions of the weekly study and meditation meetings of the Rock Creek Research & Development Laboratories and L/L Research. It is offered in the hope that it may be useful to you. As the Confederation entities always make a point of saying, please use your discrimination and judgment in assessing this material. If something rings true to you, fine. If something does not resonate, please leave it behind, for neither we nor those of the Confederation would wish to be a stumbling block for any.

CAVEAT: This transcript is being published by L/L Research in a not yet final form. It has, however, been edited and any obvious errors have been corrected. When it is in a final form, this caveat will be removed.

Sunday Meditation

July 5, 1992

Group question: The question today has to do with the concept of nurturing self-love. How do people who are naturally oriented towards being of service to others, and perhaps even serving beyond the ability to fully care for the self, take the time and energy and effort to nurture themselves? What is a way in which people can look at the nurturing of the self as a natural part of service to others? What kind of suggestions can you make as to how we can become aware of our needs for nurturing, and fulfill those needs as we go about the process of serving others and learning and growing in our daily activities?

(Carla channeling)

I am Q’uo. Greetings in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. We find great joy in joining in your circle, blending our vibrations with your own, and experiencing the unity of your seeking and the beauty of your meditation. You ask this day if we have some thoughts upon how to nurture the self, as well as nurturing other entities. The service-to-others path through the fourth density of love asks the question in this manner, and by this way of asking, points directly to the core of confusion. For the question, when wisdom is applied, becomes “How do we nurture other selves, if we are those who nurture the self?” Yet, we do not encourage you to feel foolish by putting others before self in thought or action.

We wish to note for your benefit the stance which you rightly and justly, as developing spirits, take. The lesson of compassion is learned first, then the larger lesson of wisdom. You are those seeking in the school of love, therefore this query is central. The beginning of grasping the way of nurturing the self is, however, implicit in the question. We have said to this group before that the one known as Jesus taught that there was a new covenant, a new set of commandments, which superseded the commandments given to the one called Moses. The commandments were two: to love the Creator with all one’s heart, all one’s soul, all one’s mind, and all one’s strength; and to love the other selves within your environments as you love yourself. The second of the commandments was not to love yourself as you love others, but to love others as you love yourself! Thusly, this master of compassion suggested the turning of mercy inward upon the self, prior to asking the self to expand the manifestations of mercy outward.

The way of those within the illusion wherein one cannot usually hear the thoughts of others is to take others at their word in trust, and to take the self not at one’s own word, but with each and every thought which is unexpressed held like a load upon the back. Thusly, it seems appropriate to serve others, but there is a chip upon your shoulders in your attitude toward yourself.

One set of suggestions concerning the nurturing of the self is nurturing systematically each chakra by vivid visualization, and not only by meditation, but by contemplation also. Let us demonstrate using this instrument to avoid infringement upon free will of others. Each needs must make assessments of chakra strength and clarity for each. The first chakra is always the root or red-ray energy center. Gaze at this center which loves life, which breathes the air and has appetite for preservation and procreation. This root energy is anything but base. It, as this instrument is fond of saying, contains the first sacrament, as all energies are potentially sacramental. This energy gazes—we correct this instrument—this instrument gazes at this energy and finds it very strong and clear.

There being no visualization to do, this instrument proceeds to the orange-ray energy center or chakra. Here there can be seen those muddied energies which, though small, yet block some energy from moving into the open heart. How can one gaze at the shadows that dog one’s path? If one turns about to look at them, they shift. They cannot be directly confronted, for they are shadows, yet the more firmly excellence is striven for, the darker will seem every small imperfection. This instrument then must contemplate indirectly the cause for shadows. This is the area of relationships person-to-person. Whom is this instrument not in good relationship with? The answer comes by reflex. The instrument is not in good relationship with the self. There ensues a forgiving process. Why should this instrument forgive? Intellectually, the instrument can say, “I am forgiven because I am a child of the Creator.” To the heart, no reasoning is necessary. One evaluates the self. First, may we suggest that the self be visualized as being held in the arms of the infinite One, lovingly, firmly and comfortably, rocked in eternal rhythms and loved with infinite love. When one can see oneself as the child of eternity, one can see oneself at the correct distance.

How important the instrument finds the environment of the present illusion, and how typical this is, indeed, how necessary to the growth of each spirit. Yet, in the nurturing process the reestablishment of the point of view of infinity, eternity and mystery is central, and can bring order and simplicity out of chaos.

We linger at this energy center because in your particular nation state, the outer forces which compromise free will are comparatively lesser, so that the most common blockages and over-activations of energy which confound the open heart are those of orange ray.

Now, this instrument is willing to forgive the self, and we know that each is willing to do so for the self. However, this willingness is time limited because within the experience which has become memory of your peoples, it is almost without exception that this state of self-forgiveness is lost. The attention shifts, the polarity is lessened and forgotten for the moment.

The instrument moves to the yellow-ray energy center, and gazes at the energies which deal with the societal groups which affect it. This energy in this case seems fairly under-energized, but quite clear. This is normal in general for entities to have certain energies which are not the forte, not the strong point of an entity’s service. Yet, they do need to be visualized to be sure that, though relatively small in influence upon the learning process, the energies are clear.

Moving into the heart chakra, the green-ray energy center, the instrument visualizes a nearly fully open, very strong heart energy which is normal for this instrument. The entity finds it sparkling at this time, and realizes the effect of those in a group which love one another, causing the heart energy to dance and shine. This is the portion of the nurturing of the self wherein others move in help from whatever other energy center is being used, the blue ray of communication, the orange ray of interaction in addition to communication, and so forth. All then comes through the heart chakra to others and from others.

It is to be suggested by us that when one sees the heart fully open, one then may do well to suggest to the self the beauty of giving and receiving of love. The reception of love, it has been noted this day, is often very difficult. When the orange-ray center is blocked by self-judgment, then the shining love of others is blocked from entering the heart. Loving gestures, thoughts and words may batter against the heart closed to itself in vain. Until the entity is willing to open the door to comfort by ceasing to judge the self as unworthy of comfort, no comfort can move into effective service.

Thusly, service to others directly denotes the allowing of others to love the self. This is often the most difficult relationship lesson of all, for if one is not in love with the self, how can one believe or have trust and faith in the illuminating light and love pouring into one’s heart from another? There is no basis for trust, for the self is not willing to trust the self. It is an irony of the third and fourth-density illusions that more and more energy is consumed in the desire to love, to open the self to more and more complete service to others, while there remains the grudge against the self. It is as though each were running away from the self, throwing the self into as many seemingly good actions as possible, in an attempt to even the terribly lopsided score of unworthiness of the self.

However, worthiness is not a quantitative matter, and is not available to the point grading system. There is no amount of service one can be to others to offset one’s own self-judged lack of worth. Until one forgives and accepts the self, one’s service will be stunted; one’s heart will be darkened, even in the fullness of the most loving service. Perhaps this points to the centrality of the learning of self-nurturing ways.

Moving into the blue-ray energy center, this instrument sees its strongest center working well, and not in need of further balancing or energizing. This is the center of communication. It is most often blocked by those who would communicate that which has not been requested. It is well to have opinions and thoughts on every conceivable matter; this is the fruit of an active mind. It is not loving, however, to answer questions or address seen problems which have not been asked about or advice sought upon by the one to whom the entity is attempting to communicate. Service to others is very much a matter of waiting and having the patience of being the quietness of mind to feel and respect other entities’ freedom to make choices.

If there is a great desire to communicate without there being a request, it is possible to enter into conversation about whether the entity you wish to serve would be glad to hear an opinion. If the other self agrees, then an appropriate channel has been opened. If the other self does not agree, then woe betide the spirit which plunges ahead regardless, for this is specific infringement upon free will. Remember that other selves and the self come into the valley of the shadow of death that is third-density life, not to be comfortable or correct, but to make mistakes and thereby learn the lessons of how not to express love and how to express love; how not to accept love and how to accept love; and most of all, how not to conceive oneself that is as unloving, unlovely or unloved, or how to picture that same self loving, lived and love itself.

The violet ray is fixed, and can simply be assessed as a good indicator of the balance which is present in the energy of your own self as a whole. If it seems weak, then meditation upon power, that is, the aspect of the self which expresses power, is recommended. Although, as in the material this instrument has recently read, it is recommended that meditations about the power aspect of the self not be accomplished more than once in a row, rather, if the power aspect needs work, then one works upon the love aspect and the wisdom aspect in two subsequent meditations before returning to the power aspect. This is recommended, as in the work of the one known as Butler, to avoid the distortion of the personality which is the spirit’s own attempting to find itself on what this instrument would call the King’s Highway.

Now, this is one way in which the nurturing of the self can be done. This way is important in that it is completely inner in the nature of its work. Just doing this work, that is, taking the time and the energy to do this series of visualizations, is a way that moves deeply into the self’s perception web of saying that the self is indeed considered worthy of attention. Often the service-to-others path is strewn with those who have paid attention to every opportunity to aid others’ needs, but have not given the self the same gift—the gift of time, the gift of energy. Outer ways of nurturing the self—the new dress, the new car or computer game or trip—is a very kind and good gift to the self. But nothing moves more deeply into the area of the self which deals with self-judgment than the self sitting down and taking time to pay attention to the self’s spiritual health. This is subtle work.

Now, you may note that we moved from blue to violet. That is because that of which we are speaking, the time to work with the self, is the function and the only function of the indigo ray! This ray works completely within the self, and only upon the self. To find the discipline to spend time upon the self’s spiritual welfare is more of a challenge than finding the time to attend to another’s spiritual or bodily or emotional or mental welfare. We cannot stress enough the importance of this point. Think you that one of the highest of energies possible within the self, in terms of subtlety and strength, is somehow to take the very back seat, nay, even the trunk of the automobile of life? Please see and honor the instrument that you are, no matter what outward way you treat yourself, you love yourself, you give to yourself.

The first gift of the spiritual wayfarer is the time and the energy to move within, to work upon the discipline of the personality, that more and more of the personality may be imbued with the indigo ray of joyful accepting love of self. Consider the usual indigo ray of the underdeveloped student as a pool. The polarity of service to others fills this pool, but it is simply rain falling into a conserving receptacle, a still pool within one, until it has been enlivened by the acceptance of love that is beyond the possible love when judgment remains. Until this block is removed, this pool of polarity remains still and lacking in appropriate propinquity to the …

(Side one of tape ends.)

(Carla channeling)

… There’s a moment when the pool of polarity within is opened to what lies beyond acceptance of the self. Then it becomes a truly potent force within the life, as though a fountain or spring came forth from that still pool, and sprayed and dropped like rain into each present moment; so that no key must be turned to start up the engine of self-acceptance which opens the door to unconditional channeling of infinite love through one. The key is already inserted. The work is being done within in such a way to genetically affect the energies of polarized beingness.

Thus, if you now feel that you are accepting yourself over and over and over, the secret may be that the gifts you give yourself do not include the appropriate concern for inner loving work. Not so that discrimination becomes judgment, but so that the powers of discrimination within you may help you to become that which you are, but have not realized or allowed yourself to be. And why? Because you fear to look too closely. You have heard those thoughts. So, all becomes fearful at a deep level.

We ask you to free yourself from this fearing of thoughts deemed unworthy. We assume in general that entities in service to others have largely mastered the techniques of avoiding manifesting of unacceptable actions, and so we concentrate on what is considered by the self to be unacceptable thoughts or intentions. Let us gaze for the last of these thoughts at this fear. The one known as Aaron, as spoken through the one known as Barbara, has said in this group that fear is not a bad or wrong thing; it is therefore a reason, it is a good protection until the self is ready to deal with it. Then and only then, may one sit down with the fear, gaze at it, picture the self within the cave with the—we correct this instrument—opening to the cave blocked by many bands that hide the light from one.

This is the fear, and no fear is greater to the good, gentle and kind of heart than the fear of finding the canker within. It need not be thrown away from the mouth of the cave all at once, for this might do damage to the fearful self. Take one band away, and see if that much freedom from fear is comfortable. When it is, move to take another, and another, but have the patience with the self to accept less than perfect deliverance from that fear of unworthiness at any one sitting. You have infinite time to do this work, but in each present moment, you have only that moment to do this work. Therefore, be importuning for the present moment, yet patient in the long view. If the self cannot or is fearful to do this work now, return to the image of being held in the arms of the infinite One, and rocked and lullabied and loved, for this is your true state at a deep, deep level. How you are loved! How you are loved! Feel that. Know that. Spend time with that. When you feel how much you are already loved by the infinite One, how treasured you are, then you can gain courage to go ahead and walk the King’s Highway, and do the work of falling in love with the self, even in its illusory rampant imperfection.

What an illusion you have, my dear, dear ones. What a magnificent bubble of utter confusion. You are brave souls to sail forth in this chaotic illusion. May you be to each other the beacons that bespeak love for and to each other. We send our love and light to you through this instrument, and would at this time transfer this contact to the one known as Jim, that it may conclude this working. We are those of Q’uo.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo, and greet each again in love and in light through this instrument. At this time, it is our privilege to offer ourselves in the attempt to speak to any further queries which those present might have to offer to us. Is there a query at this time?

Questioner: I would like to know more about the polarization (inaudible).

I am Q’uo, and believe that we have a grasp of your query, my sister. The polarization of the mind, in brief, is the process whereby the desire to be of service is set forth as that which is foremost of all desires that one may have and exercise during the incarnation. The means of clearing the centers or chakras of energy by the use of the polarization of the mind is that process whereby you take that desire and move through each chakra in turn, utilizing this desire to find those distortions or imperfections of manifestation within each center of energy, and seek for that moment to visualize or imagine the balanced expression of energy that is appropriate for you at that time in that center, assigning to each center those properties that are appropriate for each center, beginning as we said, with the first, or root center, and looking at this center as that which is the love of life, the expression of the desire to be, to move, to breathe, to do.

Moving to that center of interpersonal relationship next, that of the orange ray, where you put yourself in balanced relationship with one other being at a time, so that there is the one-to-one exchange of energies.

Moving therefrom to the yellow-ray center where you are in relationship with many others, with groups of beings with whom you share interest, energy and activity.

Moving from this center to that of the heart, the green ray where your love of others extends beyond any group that you may have association with to all entities simply because they exist.

Moving from this center to that of the throat and the blue ray of communication, where the love that you feel for all creation is expressed in a means of communication that is freely given, and which speaks in inspirational tones to those about you as a result of your feeling of the love of the green-ray center.

The indigo-ray center being that of the brow, where there is the work in consciousness that each seeker achieves when it begins to use the force of its will and faith to move its attitudes and perceptions into alignment with the ideals that are its guiding star.

Therefrom moving to the violet-ray center where the totality of the being is expressed as a measure, a mark, or a register of the entity. By utilizing this desire to serve others in balancing and harmonizing each center of energy, you have cleared this path for the flow of the love and light, or the prana of the one Creator to move cleanly through your centers of energy, in order that you may be a smoothly functioning reflector and creator of the love and light of the one Creator.

Is there a further query?

Questioner: (Inaudible).

I am Q’uo, and we thank you, my sister. Is there another query?

Questioner: I have one, but it might be a question that needs its own time, and that is that the times that I get maddest at myself, the times that I get the most aggravated and judge myself the most harshly, are times when I’m repeating errors. Not only do I see the error that I’ve made, but I think to myself, “Again? You know that you’re not supposed to be doing this, you know that that’s self-destructive and self-defeating and you’re doing it again.” I see the pattern, yet I don’t change the pattern. We have this phrase “Forgive and forget.” Does the Creator forgive and forget both? Is there some way we can not only forgive ourselves, but forget the pattern? Could you comment at all?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. This is a query to which a great deal of information could be given as a subject of its own, or a query to which a brief response may be given as food for further thought. As we are aware that you have exercised a great deal of patience as a group this afternoon as you listen to that which is a significantly lengthy discourse, we shall give that briefer query to suffice for the nonce.

As you see yourself repeating those patterns of behavior which you have designated as non-desirable, or as those which you wish to change into a more harmonious configuration within your being, you may take note within that portion of yourself that sees and observes all your behaviors that there is once again an opportunity to refine that which you feel you have learned. For as the dancer moves through each part of the choreography attempting to reproduce each step as it has been designed, there is the need to repeat this dance a great number of times, so that there is no need for thought when the time to perform the dance arrives. There is the need to put these steps into the, as you may call it, body memory, so that there is the automatic moving through each portion of the dance without thought. When you see yourself repeating behavior patterns that you wish to change, notice that there is the chance now to express the pattern in a new fashion, beginning at the moment of notice, so that you have in effect a biofeedback device before you, noticed by your observer, commented upon and altered accordingly.

There is a great deal of work in the metaphysical sense that is necessary in the changing or transforming of any perception or behavior so that it becomes automatic within your being, so that it becomes seated at the deepest portion of your being, and available for future reference. Do not be discouraged when you see the need for further repetition, for this repetition makes the groove, shall we say, somewhat more deeply etched and engraved in a manner whereby you shall have it as a resource to call upon.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Questioner: No, thank you very much, it was wonderful to hear.

I am Q’uo, and we thank you, my sister. Is there another query at this time?

Questioner: Yes, if I may follow up on that just a little bit. Sometimes one finds within oneself, in addition to a weakness, perhaps, that causes one to repeat a behavior that is not desired, something amounting even to a resistance or defiance almost. When one finds this within oneself, is the same course of action recommended, or is there another possibility in dealing with this kind of (inaudible)?

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my brother. Each of you has a number of aspects to your being. Perhaps it could be described as portions of personality that have been gathered about you from different times, during this incarnation especially, and perhaps previous ones as well. You look at these facets of your being if you look with the broad view, as the parent looks at the child or the children that are in its care. At some portion of your life experience there has been that imprinting of experience which has caused whatever kind of resistance you feel, whether it be the stubbornness to accomplish the task, the anger at being forced, the sadness at the not understanding, or whatever the resistance might be, there is that imprint which carries a charge, a power, shall we say, within your being.

When you find it, it is well to look at that portion of yourself that is as the child that has been somewhat damaged by an experience and needs a certain understanding from the parent at this time. It is well, then, to look at this child in the meditative state so that you may see where this child was born, shall we say, and how the birth occurred, looking at those events that formed this response in this child. Perhaps there will be the need to look into the subconscious through dreams, through hypnosis, or through your deeper meditations to discover these experiences.

It is well, however, to follow whatever memory you have of these experiences as fully as possible in order to achieve the understanding of how this resistance and this child came to be. When this understanding has been achieved, then you may look with a clearer and more compassionate eye at this portion of yourself as you seek to learn, relearn, balance or harmonize certain behaviors or thoughts that you are working upon as a portion of your journey of seeking.

Is there a further query, my brother?

Questioner: No, thank you very much, that’s very helpful.

I am Q’uo, and we thank you, my brother. Is there another query at this time?

(Pause)

I am Q’uo, and we feel that we have exhausted both the queries and this group’s attention for this circle of seeking this afternoon. We are most grateful to each for the invitation to join your circle, and we thank each for this great opportunity to walk with you upon your journeys and to speak that which is our opinion, hoping that in some fashion we might be able to serve you by sharing that which is our opinion. Since we do share opinion, we wish to reiterate that we do not wish to place a stumbling block before any seeker. If any word we have spoken does not ring of truth to you, leave that word behind quickly, saving only those that ring of your truth. We are known to you as those of Q’uo, and we shall take our leave of this instrument and this group at this time, leaving each, as always, in the love and in the ineffable light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.

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