Understanding irreconcilable differences, exercising boundaries in harm-offering relationships, and healing divergent perspectives; the service of a wanderer in a creation of fundamental perfection; knowing the signature of the intuition and the higher self.

(Trisha channeling)

We are those of Q’uo, and we are with this instrument and this group at this time. We gather with you today with much joy and much excitement to see a circle of seekers bound by love and friendship, and a shared journey to discover the unity that is at the core of the creation. We appreciate the binds and the environment of trust that has been fostered by this particular configuration.1 And we have much gratitude for the invitation to become in contact with you at this time.

Before we may speak to any questions, we would issue our usual request: that request being that the seeker who may read or listen to these words take only what resonates and allow that which does not to fall away. If you would grant us this request, we then have a greater sense of purity and sincerity and freedom to respond, knowing that each seeker will ultimately follow their own intuition and discover their own path.

And with immense appreciation for this group, we would ask, at this time, if there is a question to which we may speak? We are those of Q’uo.

Thank you, Q’uo. There are a couple. The first relates to the individuals in our lives that are tied to us in relationship, either by being a family member or former friend or former romantic partner, who offer challenge in their interpretation of experiences that seem to be so different. It appears that there is no bridge to be laid for us to find common ground with. These catalysts are attached like thorny tentacles to our solar plexus at times in that there is much to be released and cut away.

My question is: what is to be done to clear oneself of these bellicose attempts of these other-selves? To clear the energetic pool? And what is the purpose of their connection? Thank you.

We are those of Q’uo, and we are aware and thankful for this query, my sister. These relationships and dynamics of which you describe are quite the hallmark of the experience of the third-density entity: that there will be a misunderstanding or a non-equitable version of reality which presents to the two or many in the dynamic the opportunity to express these bellicose reactions, these emotions of anger and maliciousness. And we use those words without a judgmental connotation. For those kinds of emotions and actions are but distortions of the truth that is love. However, we can understand that the way they are experienced can often be painful and confusing. And so we feel for you in this experience, and we would express to you that you are not alone in this experience.

These dynamics that are at play are perhaps most potent gems, most valuable opportunities for lessons: the larger lesson of acceptance and love. And so perhaps we would first suggest that the way that one can come into this dynamic and face it would be to run the spiritual exercise of loving, accepting, and forgiving, and perhaps understanding, which we realize may take some time.

For when realities seem so discordant, it can seem impossible to perhaps make them be in alignment; but we can assure you that the Creator has within Its power and freedom the ability to create realities that are at once discordant and in alignment, different but the same.

We understand that that may not cause a freedom in the way that you may see it, in terms of making sense of the situation. However, we simply state that as a means of perhaps providing some comfort in knowing that, while this reality of this other-self is outside of your own experience, it is still valid and [it is still] theirs, and because there is this seeming ramming of these two unequal realities, that that is an intentional manifestation of the Creator.

That force that pulls these two together may seem violent or bellicose, in your words, but truly at the bottom of this force is love. See that magnetism that brings these two together as one that is supportive of discovering the reality, the true reality that is beyond the stories we write for ourselves, that you write for yourselves. The reality being that you are but two extensions of the Creator navigating this illusion, which is dense and rife with misunderstanding.

And so, as you approach this (what you may see as a) minefield, put faith and trust into that which is your being, that which is in your intuition, that which is the truth of you, which is love. Know that as you approach this situation, that you are being supported.

The universe is always supportive. And though it may be hard to see at times, and though it may seem absolutely outside of your reality, have faith and know that it is the true reality. And once you can have faith and walk with bravery in that truth, you may begin to see the other-self with the eyes of, shall we say, a caring but concerned parent. One who can see the hurt, who can see the confusion, and then can recognize how, though the realities may be different, the emotions at the core are often reflections of emotions within ourselves.

In this dynamic, have you felt confused? Have you felt hurt? Have you felt anger? Have you felt sorrow? We would suggest that those feelings within you are almost certainly playing out within the core of the other-self within their experience. All situations that develop into this kind of combative catalyst have these emotions that play out, though they might not be easily recognized by one party or the other. They may be deeply veiled. They do exist. And so in this experience, when you can see the other-self through loving and empathetic eyes, we suggest that you attempt to foster the space for forgiving.

By forgiving, we do not mean that you must allow this other-self into your life fully without boundaries. And we shall speak more on boundaries in a bit. But that you forgive them, forgive them for their pain, for your pain, forgive them for misunderstanding, forgive them for your misunderstanding, and hold them in your heart with genuine love and genuine care. Again, boundaries will play a part in that care and in that love. For you cannot take the burden and the lessons off the shoulder of an other-self, but you can love them for who they are.

We are all perfectly imperfect extensions of the Creator. We have our flaws. They are so designed divinely that we may test, if you will, one another. That we may bump into one another. That we may create friction. And in those moments of friction and in those moments of tension, there is always space to release. There is always space to heal. There is always space to find deeper understanding and deeper love and appreciation for the moments that gift us these things.

And so, my friend, we feel deeply that there are those who experience these dynamics; that sometimes these dynamics, these relationships, are not easily healed. We would only suggest to you that, in your own process, that you have not just grace for the other-self but grace for yourself. That each moment you may seem flustered, or you may feel as though you are not living up to who you want to be, [that] that very recognition is growth. That you are able to see what you strive to be is growth and is representation of positive vibration within you, that which propels you forward towards that lofty goal, towards that righteous goal, towards that pure love-centered goal. And my friends, that is within reach. All you need is to find that within yourself. Find that loving, unconditionally accepting center within you that knows that, whatever story we call reality is just paint on the walls. It’s just curtains on the windows to the truth which is this loving creation, which is the structure in which everything exists.

At this time, we shall take our leave of this instrument and transfer our contact to the one known as Gary that that instrument may speak further on this query. We Are those of Q’uo.

(Gary channeling)

We are those known to you as the principle of Q’uo, and we thank this circle for the sacrifice of time made to join together for the purpose of seeking and service to others. And we dance with and give gratitude for the inherent harmony of this circle in those strands of friendship and brotherhood and sisterhood that have been cultivated over time.

We would continue our exploration of the dynamic of the third-density seeker who finds themself in this not uncommon pickle, as you may say, of the seemingly irreconcilable points of view, where both parties are mutually frustrated with the seemingly held opposite points of view.

Into this mix is added the other ingredient identified by the questioner, and that is the factor of one party, at least from the perspective of the questioner, acting with hostility toward the other, or with seeming ill will or negativity or desire to harm in some way. This desire seems fueled by or premised on stories about the self, about the relationship, about shared experience which are divergent from one another such that, whatever the energy expended, it seems that no bridge can be built to bridge this chasm of perspective. At least not one that endures for any length of time.

So these two aspects of the Creator in their incarnate costumes find themselves standing on opposite ledges of what seems to be an unbreachable chasm of perspective. But across that perspective, there is still the bind of the relationship. There is still that which keeps these entities locked, you may say, in this dance. And there is desire for freedom, for release and liberation, that the entity need not be so shackled by this relationship dynamic and the attendant pain that brings the sorrow or the anxiety or the gnawing uncertainty. There is the desire to heal, the desire to be at peace.

But in this particular dynamic, among an infinite variety of such dynamics, a party has not made this same commitment to be at peace, to heal, to reconcile the perspectives—[they are] chained to that which is facilitating their learning, which is some deeper misunderstanding about themselves, some deeper misalignment that seems, from the incarnate perspective, to preclude their ability to be at peace and thus to share peace with others.

For, my friends, as it is known to you, you can only give to others that which you have to give, which is that which you are. One who has healed those inner wounds, addressed those fragmented energies within the self, and done the work of integration into wholeness of being, into trust of the Creator, into learning how to find love in the difficult and dark moments—such a one is at peace with him or herself and may offer that to others and to relationships.

Those with deeper, shall we say, troubles in their being—even so far as to say [those who] have deep fissures or splits within themselves out of view of their conscious minds, yet they struggle and toil within—may offer this in relationship to others, offering mirrors to others in the catalyst which they elicit. And they, in turn, are given mirrors back to themselves of their own state of being, of those areas where they are being called to work upon themselves, if they can but see the mirror for what it is, which is a reflection upon the self.

But the capacity of third-density entities to use catalyst is variable. Some there are who can and will look into the mirror recognizing that it is a mirror reflecting back to the self the fruits of the self’s work. Others instead see no mirror, but instead project outward, assigning to external entities causal status for one’s own reality or inner reality—seeing others as the cause of one’s states of being, not recognizing that what they are seeing in the other-self is an outward projection of their own state.

And some there are whose misery, shall we say, is such that [in the] inability to address and to heal that misery, to find relief and comfort, they push this outward on to others for one reason or another. Some desiring that the other suffer alongside them; some feeling that the other-self is why the self is miserable.

In any case, whatever the configuration of thought, there is the lack of taking up the scepter of responsibility for one’s creation. There is the unconsciousness within the self whereby the self experiences, as an end user, so to speak, the tail end of the phenomenology of the experience of being at war within the self, not understanding the self’s responsibility at a deeper level of generating the state, nor of the self’s ability to trace this back to do the work in consciousness and to heal.

And as such, they offer that catalyst of harm, even to those they may, in their deeper heart, love and be bound to by shared service, circumstance, or what you may call soul contract, thus offering difficult lessons to the positively oriented entity who is oriented towards inclusivity, welcoming all into the heart, loving as imperfectly as possible, unconditionally.

What does a self do who seeks to operate from the open heart which is sensitive to and compassionate about the suffering of others, but yet is suffering themselves unremittently in contact with this other harm-offering party? We can indicate by offering spiritual principles, my friends, that this is the work of the balance of love and wisdom. Each balance is unique for each entity, depending upon that which they desire to work upon within this incarnation. But we may say, in broad terms, that love, unrelieved by wisdom, has difficulty with the boundary.

Lacking clear sight or the discernment of wisdom, holding an attitude which wishes to relieve others of their suffering, love unrelieved by wisdom may expend itself; may keep the borders, shall we say, of the self, of the energy system, too open such that those energies may be taken advantage of, may be exploited; or the self, in their own choices, may give of themselves to the point of deletion, and depletion, and ultimately the martyr’s path of the ending of the incarnation.

Wisdom, informed by love, may hold love for the self and the other-self causing harm, recognizing each as the Creator, but seeing that that other-self, while sharing a root identity in oneness, is upon a journey which only they can walk for themselves. Wisdom begins the recognition that one cannot do the learning for the other-self, cannot walk in the other-self’s shoes. One can only offer catalyst in the hopes that the other-self will take the outstretched hand in service to others, but [they] must make such a choice themself. The other-self cannot be forced to take the hand or to see what the self sees.

So in balance—the love/wisdom balance, that is—the third-density entity may discern where it may be appropriate and healthy for the preservation of the self and its journey of learning to draw clearly demarcated boundaries, letting the other-self know that they are not rejected in heart or judged or condemned as being less Creator, less sacred than this self, but that their present set of behaviors and choices and ways of relating have impact upon the self and are harmful and deleterious. And thus, it is out of a love for the self, which is the Creator, which has service to offer, that the self must, perhaps even regretfully, but nonetheless compassionately, draw such a boundary and create some seeming distance, you may say; even in some cases severing the, at least outward, relationship altogether and learning to let go of those bonds and ties and tangles within that keep the self chained, shall we say, to this dynamic.

This is not to release the other-self into the gutter of life. For again, in the understanding of wisdom is that the other-self is responsible for the other-self. They and they alone can only be responsible for themselves. It is simply to declare who and what the self is, and that the self is a being who is free to be in the light, to channel that light, to be of loving, open-hearted service to others. And that they may do so more freely and with greater integrity and wholeness to not be siphoning their energy, even internally, to this depleting catalyst. They wish to be able to inhabit their heart space more fully and may do so with greater integrity by releasing these bonds, which are determined to no longer serve the self and its well-being.

It is an intricate and quite difficult dance, my friends. There is no one-size-fits-all formula. We share with you only principles that you may freely interpret and apply to the infinitely unique circumstances of your own journey.

At this time, we would ask if there is a follow-up or a new question? We are those of Q’uo.

Thank you. There’s no follow up at this time regarding that question, but I do have a different one. What is the role of a wanderer—to come to the planet to bring more light, or to aid or provide assistance, or to serve others—when everyone’s free will is always being expressed anyways and “all is well”? What’s the point? What’s the point if everything is already okay and happening as it should?

We are those of Q’uo, and we thank you, my sister. For upon contemplation, we realize that we, too, agree that, in light of the fact that all is well, why would one expend effort toward service to others or sharing light? So it is at this time we will bring this contact to a close in realizing that our efforts would be better spent elsewhere, this instrument says with a giggle.

It is a valid and deep question to contemplate, for it mines down into the nature of free will itself and that dynamic interplay between the many and the One, the incarnate free will and the preincarnational free will, the seeming paradox of there being something to do, somewhere to grow, something to reach when, meanwhile and all along, all has been perfect, whole, and complete. It is the dynamic of the illusion and the perfection of the undifferentiated intelligent infinity.

My sister, this is the game that we all play simultaneously, expending effort to be of service, to learn, to uncover, meanwhile increasingly realizing that—whatever we do, whether we make, in our judgment, a skillful or unskillful choice—there are no mistakes. One can marry these two perspectives of learning to release fear and anxiety about outcome and the future knowing that a mistake cannot be made; that the Creator is and will experience Itself; that, however imperfect things seem on the surface, underneath and truly, forever and always, things are perfect, shall we say. All things are the One.

This deeper understanding gives one freedom, even greater freedom to play in the fields, you may say; to experience the game that you, my sister, and we ourselves and any reading our words sought to play.

We, as one being with a voice the size of the universe, wanted to create a play, a play of forgetting, a play of light and shadow, a play of manyness, so that we could forget. And so that we could find our way back to the One through a very long, long journey of growth, of continual cycles of birth and death, of movement and travel, of elation and heartbreak, revelation and sorrow, etc.

As to the circumstance of the wanderer coming to a world of beings, each in the sovereignty of their own free will, whether exercised in an informed or uninformed way: the wanderer is upon the planet because of free will. They have been invited and called to this world by the need and the calling of those upon the surface, those within the third density—though they may not know on a conscious level that they call in their prayers, in their requests for help, in their confusion and pain and suffering that seeks a lessening, a relief, or that seeks understanding in some way.

These are calls which emanate out from your planet which are received by those who can hear and respond to the call and [who] decide to make a great sacrifice, you can say; one of, as those of Ra have described it, bravery/foolhardiness, to forget everything and to enter into and be born unto the system that they may operate in response to that call, in accordance to that call; that they may bring whatever talents they have on whatever level, whether that be taxi driving or filmmaking or politicking or diaper changing. But first and foremost, they may bring their vibrational state, their opened heart and loving eyes, their beingness in order to meet the needs of the planet and to lighten the planetary vibration.

At this time, we would transfer our contact to the one known as Trisha with gratitude for these questions, my sister. We are those known to you as Q’uo.

(Trisha channeling)

We are those of Q’uo, and we are again with this instrument. We appreciate the queries which have been presented, and we would ask if the questioner would prefer that we speak further to this previous query or speak to a new query at this time. We are those of Q’uo.

I have another question that I’d like to hear your thoughts on at this time. Can you speak to how one could know the signature of their own inner wisdom, their own higher self, their own intuition, and how would they know it against the ego when making decisions?

We are those of Q’uo, and we are aware and thankful for this query, my sister. We feel that this particular query is quite important, not only for the general third-density entity on this planet but also for those in this circle and within their circle of friends and family. That perhaps each of you have had moments, or will have moments, where you must attempt to decipher that which is one’s intuition, one’s higher self’s guidance, and may challenge it against one’s ego, one’s monkey mind, if you will. The energetic signature of one’s inner wisdom is something that is perhaps, in this heavily veiled illusion, difficult to untangle from the ever-flowing movement of the thought process. But we would confirm that there is a separate and distinct energetic signature to that which is the inner guidance.

To define what that energetic signature may present itself as is challenging for us in that it may present itself differently in each entity. But we shall attempt to, at the very least, speak to ways in which it may manifest. Ultimately, it is the individual seeker who will know.

In examining this instrument in particular, we note that the inner guidance presents itself in ways that can be seen as magical and magnetic. That the spark of intuition is one that pulls the entity in the direction—or at least seems to—in the direction which is toward the greater sense of knowledge and well-being. It presents itself, perhaps magically, within this particular instrument in that it may show itself in moments of crisis or confusion. And that as it appeared within the instrument’s view, that there is a knowing. That this is something deeper. That this is something that strips away the egoic costume. That this is energy, energy which lacks the influence of perhaps the individual context, the higher self making itself known in ways that are powerful and seemingly central to the experience of the entity.

And so, again, these are simply ways in which this particular instrument has experienced the intuition, the guidance, the inner wisdom. That being said, the intuition may be sensed as what people of this planet may call a gut feeling. Something that continues to show itself that is perhaps difficult to let go of. That is simply within one’s field that makes a strong case, if you will, for something that seems outside of the self. It may be seen as a, what you call, light bulb moment, an instantaneous moment of clarity.

It may be seen as a long held truth that, over time, becomes clearer and more digestible or more obvious in the everyday experience. And since this inner wisdom can take on many flavors, can take on many colors, can take on many expressions, we would suggest that the instrument, that the entity, that the self who wishes to know, to channel this higher self, that they spend intentional time cultivating a relationship with that inner wisdom, with that energetic signature.

That may be done in several various ways. However, we would suggest that the most basic of ways is through the practice of meditation. And in that intentional space of silence, that the entity ask very explicitly for the introduction, the invitation, the handshake with the higher self; that the entity ask for the higher self to present itself. And then that the entity asks itself to open its heart to that experience, to open its eyes, its ears, its mind, and to simply witness and lovingly accept what appears before it.

One may find that in that practice, there is a challenge. Perhaps the first attempt is what you may see as unsuccessful. Perhaps upon completing the exercise, the entity feels as though nothing was accomplished, that no new information or new connections were made. However, we would disagree with that and state that the simple intention is inherently an establishing of that connection, that [your] higher self hears that call, that your inner wisdom feels that opening of that channel. And with continued practice, the self may clear the cobwebs from that hallway, remove the dust and grime and dirt so that the clutter of self-doubt and judgment is removed, and the fluid movement of the higher self, of this inner wisdom, of this energetic signature, may more fully and clearly make passage.

And so, with continued practice, as always, with much patience and with much forgiveness, this relationship grows stronger. Perhaps [even] in those moments where it feels as though nothing is coming of this practice. That the lesson here is about acceptance, about self-forgiveness. Perhaps it is the higher self’s way of presenting itself with the tools to continued relationship with higher self, that in the experience of more fully loving the self, that the higher self may have easier charter into becoming more observable.

And in this practice of establishing this relationship, the higher self will make itself known. It will show itself in a way that is unique to each individual, in a way that is palpable—we correct this instrument—that is palatable, that is discernible, that is powerful, that is clear, and in ways that you know what it is. Having faith in that experience, the ego may fall away, and the bond between higher self and self becomes more fluid, more easily traversed.2

And so, my friend, we again suggest the practice of meditation, of asking explicitly for guidance, of asking for a strengthening of this relationship and for asking that higher self show itself. And then we suggest that the self open itself to receive what may come through, not only in the intentional meditative practice, but also in the daily round of activities. Perhaps in an exercise of seeing the world anew, the higher self may present itself in a way that had previously not been seen, but in hindsight was always present.

For this much is sure, though may not always be clear, may often be hard to decipher: intuition is a birthright, and it is a constant companion on your journey. One merely needs to open itself in a loving, compassionate, and open-armed hug to that wisdom and trust in the purity of that connection.

This instrument is feeling as though she may have perhaps spoken too much about her own experience and apologizes. And through this instrument, we would also wish to thank each one here for this opportunity to connect, not just with our contact, but with each other. As mentioned by the previous instrument, there is a harmony here and a support which is beautiful to witness and powerful in its expression. This circle, among many, shines of the light which can be seen in the heavens as you see them.

We are thankful for this opportunity to sit with you, to share energy. We thank the instruments for this brief exercise and contact. We thank the questioner for the devotion of time and energy. We thank the second-density friends of this home for their loving and joyful and boundless amount of excitement. And finally, we thank all, all of creation for this blessed, beautiful, and highly, highly varied tapestry of experience.

We shall take our leave of this instrument and of this group, at this time, with much thanksgiving and praise for all here and for the One Infinite Creator. We are those of Q’uo, and we thank you. Adonai, my friends, adonai vasu borragus.


  1. At the upcoming Coming Home to a New Earth gathering in Philadelphia, the ones known as Trisha and Gary would be channeling for the first time without Jim or Austin. Nervous, they asked their friend and Law of One student, Stephanie, if she would serve as the necessary third person for the universal contact and create questions for Q’uo in order to have a practice round before the gathering. The timing of her visit just a couple of weeks before the gathering worked out great. G&T had just spent a couple weeks dog sitting Stephanie’s eight-month-old (and super energetic!) new pup, Luna. 

  2. While “palpable” seems the better word choice, “palatable” is also interestingly applicable in this context, whether defined as “agreeable or acceptable to the mind” or, creatively, “agreeable to the palate or taste.”