Wynn Free and Carla Rueckert delve into the journey of self-discovery, highlighting how empathy, poetry, and meditation can reveal deeper layers of the self. Together, they offer insights on how to hold space for light and inner stability in challenging times.
Wynn
This is our Monday night conference call for October 19, 2009. Tonight my special guest is Carla Rueckert. We have Terry in the background, maybe having something to share.
Maya just asked a question which has to do with how different poets speak to her, depending on who she’s around, and how she relates to each one at the time she’s relating to it, but they’re all different. She wants to discover who Maya is, relating to all these different poets that connect with her. Carla was going to answer it. Carla, go ahead.
Carla
All right. Maya, it’s a very interesting question. The answer is really in several parts. Let me hit the poetry part first. The reason that this happens to you [is that], depending on the milieu that you’re experiencing, you are vibrating in a different place and [in each different place] you like different poems. Poems are like music, or in a non-literal way, like architecture, in that they’re very intense. It’s as if you take the English language - or any language in which the poem is - and as you express it, you remove all the unnecessary parts. You distill it until it can hold more purified emotion than prose can.
Music does precisely the same thing. With music you’ve got so many more instruments, it’s a much more diffused kind of compression, but it also captures and generates emotion, far more than, say, the sound of a busy street would. This compression is taking place and you’re sensitive enough to it and you’re empathic enough with the milieu that these two things go together to give you kind of a group vibration which you then, as you said, channel into what poetry is congruent with it, what poetry vibrates at the same basic rate as your milieu. You’re just looking for a congruency there. Okay, that’s the way that works.
The reason that you’re experiencing this is because you’re highly empathic. Now this brings me to answer number two: this is the fact that your empathy works against you in knowing who Maya is. It’s a noisy old world. You’re so aware and you’re so completely [absorbed] with the whole business of being [with] this person, that person, or whomever you happen to be around, not in an intellectual way, that you are vibing into them, literally entraining your vibrations to be one with them.
This is an extremely service-to-others trait to have, as long as it’s controlled. It would be very good for you to work on drawing boundaries and finding ways to tune to yourself. But that comes at a later time. Of course, right now, you’re swamped, so, here’s the deal.
Answer number three: Maya’s not out there. Maya’s not in the milieu. Maya’s not in your surface consciousness much. Maya is in the silence within. You’re going to have such a great time meeting Maya! Maya is the Creator, who happens to have been stepped down from Creator-hood by loss of memory and lack of experience into a soul, a spark of the Creator.
So what you start with is, you are love. Everything you ever wanted to know, you know. Everything you ever wanted to be, you are. You are everything. And that everything is a creation that is created by an infinite Creator whose very nature is unconditional love. That’s the way we experience it.
We name it [love], but it’s a love that is so powerful, it has created all that there is. And all that there is, is one interactive thing. We all start out with a fundamental floor of beingness that is love.
And the great thing about life is that is a game you play as you sort through the mirrors of your life - like poems, milieus, and [you] keep getting information, depending on how you react to the mirrors. So everything you react to emotionally tells you something about yourself. Then you get to go off by yourself at the end of the day and say, “Now let’s sort this [out]—what’s triggering me, what bothered me and why did that bother me?” And you discover that there is a part of your shadow that you haven’t accepted yet. You haven’t brought it up into the daylight and accepted it and honored it and gotten it to work for the family firm yet.
So you identify the trigger - and usually you get triggered because of things that happened in your childhood. It could be anything, but usually it’s [from] early childhood; usually it’s parents, or teachers or somebody that you thought was the ultimate judge. And then they said, “You’re not worth anything,” or something like that and it gets buried.
So find where your triggers are and you find just who you are as a personality shell. And you become more and more able to accept yourself. You’re meeting yourself in all these mirrors, so you don’t come away from somebody that’s said something cruel to you, going “Oh, that’s so cruel.” You go, “Now let’s see! Why did I think that was cruel?”
It’s kind of a game you play. And at the same time, it’s the most important game you’ll ever play, because you get to know yourself from inference. “That bothered me, I like that, and I didn’t like that.” You start collecting this intelligence. You have to start on the surface, you see. And then at a certain point, what happens is, it’s not that you don’t keep surprising yourself or that you don’t keep getting triggered, but you become so aware of the process and so comfortable with who you are in all of your imperfections, that you can start being silent with yourself.
Then, gradually, little by little, you get to the point where you can actually enter into the silence. The great thing about the silence is that it takes you from the world of ten thousand things, where you have an intellect and a biocomputer that solves problems, to a world of eternity and infinity, mystery, paradox, and unity. And in this other world, this time/space instead of space/time, this metaphysical world instead of physical world, inner instead of outer, energy instead of manifestation—in this energy world, you get a different reality completely. You’re dealing in infinite things. You’re dealing in things that cannot be put into words.
That’s why it’s silent. You don’t need the words. Everything’s already there, but it’s there in concept form. So entering the silence, whether you enter it in a formal way with meditation or whether you take a walk in nature, put away the iPod and focus on trees, doesn’t matter. Entering the silence the way you like to do it begins to open you to the self that you are when the personality characteristics can fall away a bit and you can get through into a deeper part of yourself. You see, you have the intellect self which is your brain, your head. Then you have the mind of the heart, which is consciousness. Consciousness is in common with everyone else, everything else, and the creation.
So when you come into this consciousness, then there is a lack of background. You can begin to feel your essence. And who you are comes to you in these deep concepts that orient you in a way you’ve not been able to orient yourself with your mind or with your logic or with what you do or what you look like or any of those things.
Basically, you’re a soul stream, you see. It’s kind of a loose thing. It’s a flowing thing. You’re a stream of the Creator who is witnessing and getting information and finding out what she desires, following those desires, registering results, moving on and continuing the process of being as witness for the Creator.
The Creator wants to find out more about who It is, and you are one of the point men that is feeding back information. You’re at the top of the food chain on Earth, but you’re feeding information to the one infinite Creator. And the one infinite Creator is waiting in rapt attention to find out what you witnessed, what you desire, what you think, how you are. It’s reaping your purified emotions as you seek and seek through these mirrors that happen to you in the everyday world, not taking them so seriously [but rather] for what they say as to how you react to them, and what that tells you about yourself.
So who Maya is, is very deep inside you. It doesn’t have words. It has belief, faith, and energy. And that vibration is clearer to those who are not behind the veil here on Earth than your name could ever be. There is only one of you. You truly are unique. And so you begin to dive into the pool instead of swimming on the surface. And you can breathe the water.
So to find yourself, move from this world of mirrors, take what the mirrors tell you, take what your relationships tell you, what the milieu tells you, what the poetry tells you, and then dive deep and become fearless before the energy and the essence of yourself. Just be with yourself - as you hug a tree, as you sit in a chair, as you do anything in the world with absolute attention. There you are.
That’s my answer. Wynn, do you have something? Terry, want to add to that?
Wynn
What a good answer!
I’m going to ask a question which is an addendum. This is an issue that some people have. Some people would say, “Okay, I’m ready to find the silence. Okay, silence, where are you?” And then they’re looking for the silence and they come up with, “Well, I’m hungry,” or “Oh my God, I’m horny,” or “My mind keeps chattering,” or “I need to do something, I have some kind of obsession.” And so, every time, they stop. [Something] comes up and they get distracted. So if somebody is looking for the silence, how would you counsel him or her?
Carla
Well, actually, the first line of defense that I go through is nature. Even if you’re trying to talk to yourself, the world of nature is so magnificent and absolutely enthralling that if you ever get out into it, it’ll blow you away, especially if I give somebody things to do like hug trees and sit on logs and look at the sun and turn around and give a 360 [-degree view] on the trees. They’re able to do things and still be overmastered by the silence, because all of nature is dancing. It’s silent and you are the only one at the party that’s talking! And eventually [you think], “Oh, wait a minute.” And maybe, even if for 30 seconds, there’s this “Wow!” And you go over the edge into not producing thoughts.
If a person is a really hard case, I’d say to count your breaths. Just count the breaths. You keep losing count, but then you just start counting again. And while you’re counting the breaths you’re not doing anything else and the silence can creep in around the edges.
After you get totally comfortable counting your breaths, then you can start doing a visualization, breathing in all the new, infinite love and light of the Creator and breathing out everything that’s old and stale, breathing in the light and breathing out everything that’s all used up, just getting your battery charged. Breath really is powerful stuff. If you really get into breathing and you start feeling better and it starts helping, then eventually you forget to do the visualization. But you haven’t triggered anything and so you rest.
I think it’s a matter of sheer luck as to whether you’re gifted with the kind of mind that embraces the silence easily. I’ve never been good at it myself, but it doesn’t matter. Because all you have to do is set your intention to enjoy the silence and in those little bursts of seconds when you actually make it, you’re getting the information of the silence, you’re getting the one infinite Creator.
So I’m not uptight about it. I don’t think there’s a way that you must become perfect at it. I’ve never been perfect at it and it’s really been a wonderful thing in my life, that’s for sure. I think that what is often missed about the silence, about practicing the presence of the one Creator, is that since it doesn’t take place in space/time, since it does take place in time/space, it’s sort of like dreaming. You dream the whole dream in a burst and then it manifests in what seems like real time in the dream. But the REM sleep period is just seconds. And then you’re dreaming for what seems like a half an hour. You dream this huge world.
So I think that a little goes a long way. And it doesn’t have to be formal and it doesn’t have to look like anybody else meditating. You can think all the thoughts. There’s nothing funnier than the round of things you think when you’re trying not to think, “Oh, I’m thinking again, no, I’m not going to think, okay, I’m thinking again, no, I’m not going to think.” It’s funny.
Plus, when you do start meditating and you’re sitting down in a chair and you say, “Okay, I’m going to meditate for 20 minutes like [Transcendental Meditation] does,” your body’s never done that before unless it’s looking at a screen. It doesn’t just sit. We’re very busy people. So, we’ve never trained our bodies to sit in one place and do nothing unless there’s a focus. And there’s no focus in meditation unless you give yourself one, say counting your breathing, or whatever. So your body is actually uncomfortable. It doesn’t know what you expect of it. “I’ve never had to do this before, it’s not what I’m used to. Give me something I’m used to.” Your body resists change and you’re making a new habit.
I remember the first couple of months that I was meditating, back in college. I was trying to do it seriously and I kept getting nauseated. I would get sick to my stomach. And then that seemed to pass but I kept seeing monsters. Not monsters so much that it scared me out of it, but just, who wants to see monsters? I was seeing for the first time into the lower astral planes and there were monsters. So there are all these things that you experience as you’re starting up a new habit and it takes time. What is it—three weeks it’s supposed to take a habit? Well, it took me more like six months before I was comfortable sitting in one place.
I like it now but I’m still not good at it. I still find myself planning a menu or thinking about the chapter I’m writing or a conversation I’ve had or what I’m going to wear tomorrow, a song that I’ve been singing at church or in my teaching - all these silly things. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you try to do meditation “well.” All you’re trying to do here is seek the truth. And you’ve heard that the silence is where it is, so you say, “Okay, I’m going to do silence.”
Now if you’re the kind of person that is just super-uncomfortable sitting in one place, then do it in nature, but just get far enough away that you don’t have all the artifacts of civilization. And don’t take anything with you. Don’t take a book or an iPod or anything to distract you. Instead, to get the full effect of it, start interacting with the environment. Stop and really touch a tree and ask it for its story. It didn’t have to make you feel sensible. It’s just supposed to put you in a different place in your head.
Wynn
Terry, do you have anything you want to add or ask?
Terry
Well, one of the things that I’ve found is that with me, the more I let go of the things that are not me, like what I’m going to wear or where I’m going, [and] just [focus on] me as the creative soul stream, the better I can access the silence. And also, sometimes I find thoughts coming in that aren’t mine. For instance, driving along the freeway I suddenly may get an urge to call 911 for a mechanic, and I think, “Oh, what was that?” And I realize that there must have been some kind of an accident at that place because I didn’t get it any other place. And when I go on, by then that’s gone. So I pick up stuff from my environment. When I’m in downtown L.A. there’s this frequency and if I learn not to tune in and just somehow quietly go to the highest [level I can], then I start to balance out and feel really good.
Wynn
Usually I don’t ask for questions but Maya started it, so if any of you have questions, it looks like we only have room for two questions.
Carla, was that all you or did you have any help?
Carla
That’s just me and my guidance. I’d say Holly probably has a part in it. That’s my name for the Holy Spirit. That’s my personal guidance. I don’t like to call her “Holy Spirit.” I don’t think that’s nice. S so I call her Holly. She’s a wonderful, wonderful guidance system.
I wouldn’t dream of calling in the Confederation without at least two other people in the circle to universalize the channel. And I need somebody to hold my hand to make sure I don’t go out of my body [when I channel the Confederation sources]. So this is just me and my guidance.
Terry
I thought that was a great answer.
Wynn
I’m going to give Maya a chance to say something in a moment, but let me just tell you, I actually said I was going to do a topic on this call and have a discussion about that. So in between any questions, the topic I had in mind, which I think is in everybody’s mind right now, is, “How do we keep ourselves centered and stable in a world that seems to be falling apart?” When you focus on the world falling apart, it’s very easy to go into fear. It seems that is a very urgent thing in front of everyone’s face right now. So we’ll touch on that and see what people come up with, because we’re dealing with three people here who’ve had extensive communications with beings and energies in other realms, in other realms. As well we ourselves watch how to be in the world and how to be stable in the world - me, Terry and Carla.
Now if any of you has a question, you can email it to me at moc.oohay/@eerfnnyw. I am on the internet right now. And if we get to it I’ll ask the question. Or you can call BBS by looking on the website to get the phone number. This is a great opportunity to get some wonderful wisdom for some of your issues.
Maya, if you’d like to make a comment on how that reached you, you can push *6 now and it will un-mute you and you can tell Carla and us if that made any sense.
Maya
It definitely was a beautiful answer and has triggered a lot of diverse thoughts in me. I am extremely glad that silence has been woven into the answer. If I can share just a few things of all that is going through my head, that would be great.
I have noticed about myself that silence can provoke panic in me, and it was beautiful how Carla has actually made it a lot more available. [She explained] how to work with that difficulty of remaining silent. Nature is definitely a beautiful way and it is helping me as well. Where does that panic originate from? My observation is, I have worked with people with disabilities who have often suffered the permanent loss of senses such as eyesight, hearing, or other ways of being able to make contact with the world, especially in the case of a girl who was both deaf and blind. I have learned from my teachers that the way to deliver a word to them or to reach them is through the senses that they have available, just to keep stimulating senses that are there and available to us, because that makes us feel alive and it’s how we connect with the outside world.
Now when you try to be silent, you try to center yourself. So to be with that sensory stimulation, to sit still and be alone, whether it is in nature and, even more advanced, in your room by yourself, that’s actually the time the panic approaches. I almost feel like I’m in space, where there is not even gravity. I’m just levitating. And I really get to the place that Carla describes of the soundless sound, where you really recognize that this is the essence of you. Getting across the threshold of panic and growing comfortable with the levitating is like walking on the moon. Thank you very much.
Wynn
It’s kind of like you’re trying to sit on a slippery mountaintop that’s got really steep slopes. And every time you get to the top, [there’s] the silence. And it’s so easy to lean slightly and you’re rolling down the slope again. And then you climb up again and learn how to balance yourself and hold the space at the top.
Carla
Yes. I think it’s easier to meditate in a group actually.
Wynn
That’s why I started to do my conference calls all of the time because the group energy helps.
Carla
Everybody helps everybody. You don’t realize how powerful you are until you start hooking up with other people’s auras. And then the energy starts moving between the auras and creating a sacred space. And all of the sudden everybody in the group is more powerful than they were before, since they’re in accord and vibrating at the same basic level. And so you have this lighthouse starting to glow. It’s not that it’s us. It’s that we are instruments. And when we act as though we believe that, then we are played. And the Creator’s light comes through us and out into the world. And we start doing what we came to do - and doing it better—lightening the consciousness of Planet Earth. That’s the job and we’re doing it right now.
Wynn
We are, just because we’re here. We come on this show and there’s no ego. We three just want to serve everyone that’s listening to the best of our abilities. A group that comes together with a high intention is the kind of group that can change the world. That’s the kind of group that Jesus talked about when he said, “Ten people can save a city.” Carla introduced me to the idea of group souls. When you create a high intention in a group, you create a group energy, and these group souls can join their energies with your group. To me, this is one of the reasons that prayer works, because now you have ten people, with the addition of how many, [in the group soul you ask to join with you.]
Carla
Plus all the angels that are around those people. And if you’re a wanderer and came from someplace else, you have that energy. It just goes on and on. We have so much help! And when you pray, [if you are Christian] you alert the consciousness of those that are in between incarnations but who are Christian. If you ask for the help of those who come in the name of Jesus the Christ, for instance, in the unseen realms, when you’re focusing on something, you’ve got an amazing number of souls that will respond to that, because you’ve called on their line, “Yes, I’m Christian, yes, I wish to help, yes, I will pray.” And so you have this enormous, unseen reduplication of effort, so that you’re creating a big light in the unseen worlds when you pray.
Wynn
We have about eight minutes. We’re going to call this “The Maya Show.”
Carla
If you can ask “Who am I and why am I here?” and if you never get the answer, just asking the question is going to set you up for a great life, rich in learning and rich in service.
Wynn
I’ve known Maya now for a couple of years and she is so dedicated to her evolution. Her sensitivity to everything always gets in her face.
Carla
That’s probably the reason she panics when she’s completely alone and trying to meditate. It isn’t the meditation, it’s not having anybody else to push the currents around her, because she has become a still pool listening to all these currents instead of, like most people, having natural boundaries that are etched in stone because there’s no awareness that there’s anybody else. We all feel like monads. but when you are a sensitive - and I’ve known a couple in my life and it’s not that easy a life, let me tell you - it takes a good deal of skill to build those boundaries artificially so that you can sense yourself even as these other strong personalities and so forth are booming in.
If you’ve ever been in a restaurant where the person wasn’t even there any more, but you had to change seats, you know that some people are very, very strong and not always pleasant. I think that maybe there’s the answer to the panic might be meditating in a group. There would be other souls there but they would all be setting the same high intention and hopefully that would make a difference.
Wynn
So we have two minutes for my topic tonight. Actually everything is on topic, but I’ll just ask your take on this. Right now a lot of emails are coming to me about my own channelings that the next few months are going to be really intense. The world is going to go through a big shift. Things are changing. Are the Illuminati going to gain control? Are they going to create fear for everybody? Are we going to have aliens landing and Obama taking them to lunch on TV so everybody can hear them? People are sending me emails on that. And of course there’s a lot of unknown. We can’t control the collective. Well, we can to the extent we can, but there are things outside of ourselves that are operating that are beyond our direct control, obviously. Just for the people that tuned in who wanted to hear the answer to that question, what’s your take on that?
Carla
I think I would remind people why they’re here. They came here to hold the light. We all did. That’s our basic mission here. There’s nobody that’s here by accident. We came here to serve and we came here to hold a space within us, a channel through which the light can pour. The darker it gets in the outer world, and the more people are consumed by fear, the more they need what lighthouses they can find. They don’t care where the lighthouses come from. They don’t care what the lighthouses believe. What they need to see is the light.
So the worse it gets, the more of a responsibility we [have], we who have awakened and understand that it’s a far larger and a far different world than the dragons of this world, thrashing their tails, can show us. We have more responsibility to allow the light to flow through us, to be fearless. Naturally, we’re hustling too, we’re trying to find out how to pay the bills, and how to go on, but we’re those in the universe who come to help.
Whenever there is a disaster, people’s hearts open, and there’s enough food and there’s enough medicine and people are rushing to save other people and acting like wonderful heroes. That doesn’t happen by mistake. That happens because dangerous and scary times show us who we really are. And who we really are, is a group of people that [came to serve in] this life and in the life to come.
Wynn
Thank you. Is there any more you want to add to that? Terry, are you there?
Terry
I thought that was a beautiful answer, it makes me feel very good.
Wynn
People can say that death isn’t real, you continue. When I started paying attention to the channelings of Carla and other people I convinced myself that those guys exist. They’re real! And if they’re real, I’m not going to die because there is a transition. If you constantly pay attention to channelings, positively disclosed, service-to-others channelings, there’s a relief from the fear of dying. This is one life of many and it is as though we all came in on assignment. We were sitting in a counsel and said, “Well, we’re going to go to Earth to help hold the light there.” And we got here and don’t remember that any more. We don’t remember there was a counsel and we don’t remember any of this. So all of these messages from other realms are very compelling, because there’s no way that this kind of intelligence and this kind of amazing understanding of the universe can consistently come through so many people. That’s helped me immensely. Once you’re not afraid of dying, you’re also not afraid of living because there’s nothing to be afraid of.
It’s 6:50 and we didn’t have time for any [more] questions. I thank Maya for her question. Probably [that contains] a lot of people’s questions. That’s the thing about questions. We all have questions that are the same. How do you find silence? How do you experience yourself not as a physical body but as a terminal for the universe, a small terminal for the one infinite Creator? It’s like [we are] USB connectors, not just USB connectors - it can look like that, but it goes to the whole hard drive and goes to the whole network which goes to the whole internet which goes to the whole planet. I think that is a good analogy for the human condition. We’re all like USB connectors that don’t feel connected.
Carla
I think we’re probably going to feel connected most of the time. It’s a really big USB port.
Wynn
So we’re all USB connectors needing each other and giving each other our experience. And before you know it we get the map back to the hard drive. Okay, it’s 6:52. Usually when we do this [show] we do a prayer [at the end] and bring everyone on the line into it. I don’t know if we have time. Would you like to join me in this Carla?
Carla
Surely.
Wynn
Father/Mother God, we ask for the presence of the light to surround each person on this line and any negativity be taken to the higher realms of light and transmuted for the highest good of all concerned. We can imagine ourselves in the flow of energy that radiates from the center of our galaxy, through our bodies and into the center of the Earth. Right now, we invoke a group energy, a blending, and a braiding of all of our energies, just for this moment, no matter where we are on the planet. And even if you’re listening to this later, you’re part of this energy.
And we invite those positive, service-to-others sources to join with our energies. And we all, as a group, create an intention for the healing of ourselves, the upliftment of our planet, and peace.
Carla
Send this out into the world, Lord.
Wynn
Thank you so much Carla for being with us. Thank you Terry. Thank you everybody on BBS, thank you!