Letter to M

Dear M,

You are very welcome for my response to your letter. We consider that part of our living like that. We have no intention of stopping until we stop in this plane of existence. You can expect to get a response if you write. I have had my share of people whom I wrote to and never heard from when I really wanted to know what they thought. I certainly don’t want to offer manifestations of mail abuse without giving people a chance of asking questions about things that make perfect sense to me.

Especially in the area of channeling because all of my so-called information in that area is opinion, which I have generated myself. I have not seen any of the work on channeling that deals with it the way I have observed it actually happening and I have wanted to deal with it. I am going through your letter so pardon me if I skip from subject to subject.

You really don’t have to apologize for starting, or writing or anything. If you are an engineer, you are not supposed to be able to spell or write. I was an engineering librarian for eight years before I took up a job with L/L.

One of our readers painted an abstract painting, which Jim is now hanging. He asked me what my personal manifestation is on earth as opposed to where I manifest to the public, who knows me as author. I thought about it and decided that probably the deepest of my personal self was singing sacred music.

It saves me in church, the church that I go to which happens to be aesthetically quite lovely and built in the early 1800s in the Victorian area, Victorian Gothic style. It has Tiffany windows all around. It is a long church like the big old churches in Europe in the shape of a cross, but with the bottom part of the cross being about 700 people long. That is not counting the balcony which we don’t use much any more. We don’t need it. I think the choir used to sing up there. Now we sing in the chancellery.

Like I said to JW who was the guy who was planning to build the painted piece and he even stuck it in the corner of the canvas in the back, when I got it. I mentioned it when I got a really good look at it. It feels like that and I had a very thin and dark corner in my house, one that I didn’t want to be thin or dark. I wanted it to be much lighter because it is a very large wide hall, wide enough that an upright grand can sit on one side of the hall and you can still use the hall perfectly easily. I don’t expect you to have, but at any rate. It, of course, was swallowed up in dimness when it was put above the piano, which is why I got the light.

It is my grandmother’s piano. She was an absolutely wonderful, wonderful person.

She never had trouble. She had adventures. She never had difficulties. She always had challenges. She was a dancer along the style of Isabella Duncan and Martha Graham. The dance school taught an interesting mixture of free spirit, taking the opportunity to go back to the old gods and each person that entered that dancing school got the name of some Greek or other. My grandmother’s name was Mikey, or as it is pronounced correctly, Mickey. So she had that in there and then she had this wonderful philosophy of rhythm that everything is alive and that it is going to have a rhythm and that the human body is perfectly capable of expressing any rhythm it observes or feels. The rhythm in music, in the stars, in a seashell.

I spent eight very happy summers, two months every summer in Connecticut, dancing.

So that is my grandmother’s piano. By the time I came along, she was no longer teaching the dancing. She was composing for the dance and accompanying. She was a very, very talented, creative woman, way before her time. I want that area with the piano to be a happy place because I don’t have anything in this house really much that I went out and bought. I am too sentimental for that. I’ve got early attic stuff everywhere. Every piece reminds me of somebody. Anyway if you hear some banging, that is where it is.

Now from digression to regression. Thanks for offering to type your letters if it is as easy as writing, fine. If writing is easier, write. I’ll make it out. But I appreciate the typing. Of course, that is the easiest and you must have a dandy typewriter because you’ve got a justified right margin here. I am impressed.

It doesn’t look like a computer. Well a very good printer. Maybe that is the first that I noticed it wasn’t typed, but you’ve got word processing.

Unless you live in Dayton, and I was not able to find your town in Ohio, if it is not near Dayton, I don’t know of anybody. If it is near Dayton I know of somebody who is very willing to talk to somebody about our material, who typed all of our transcripts for ten years and who does have a clue. They don’t study just the Ra material. They mostly study another teacher, A. someone, who seems to be a very good metaphysical teacher so it is not a Ra group.

The way that I handled this in the past, instead of trying to find people. We don’t have it on a computer program yet. I thought we were going to have it on a computer program. Our mailing list at this point is on 3 x 5 cards and typed onto mailing labels into a good software program where we could print out by the code or the first two letters, which I understand is the area so that anybody within the first three letters of your zip code is physically pretty close to you, or even to pull you out by your name or by the date of your last correspondence. It is just not there. The technology is just not there yet. We don’t have anybody to do it at this point.

But a marvelous energetic, and very funny and intelligent lady, very unique, SS, who is in Washington State, offered to let people who wanted to be in a Ra study group join the Ra group with this group of people from all over the United States. I guess there is another group between twenty and thirty people who have a serious interest in having a group to talk with, to share with, to go off on tangents with. (There are a lot of whiches here I am missing, with which to go) and she has been doing this for a little over two years. I personally very much enjoy it, including the part I write myself. I send her channeled stuff whenever we get our transcript and we are slowly getting caught up on the transcripts of the Sunday night meditation as we always have some material that is channeled that you haven’t seen yet.

That isn’t too surprising since almost nobody has seen more than about half of 1% of the amount of channeling that I’ve done since I started in ’74. This is what I am doing lately.

And then there are the back and forth readers who send in their letters for the month and you contribute whatever you can. Since it is published on the back page of the newsletter, the cost of this particular issue of the newsletter and whether it balances. That way it is easy for people to see when it is time to make a contribution.

SS’s address is (withheld). I suggest that if you want company that you want a good, a very good bunch of people to share with, this is a good group. I really believe so. I like the group myself. It is made up of a very diverse bunch of people, obviously people that are pretty much without anybody to talk to where they are, and so you get a lot of themselves into those letters because this is a real outlet for them. They also are thinking about things that other people simply don’t think about a lot. There is a certain feeling of the sweetness of society. You know, birds of a feather. There are a lot of people who come into contact with S’s newsletter. It is not run by us. We do not have anything to do with it except that as a reader, I was just the channel.

I didn’t know that stuff. I am a member of it too and we all write in every month and react to what we do and to what other people have said. What we think is great or what we think should be added to. We really have a feeling of shared experience and affection. I have great grown to feel very affectionate towards many of the members who are very interesting and good people.

Not knowing of any particularly group in your area, if you do live in Dayton and want another kind of group, but a group in the same general area, let me know and I will give you W and JD’ phone number. I am sure she wouldn’t mind hearing from somebody that is a reader at all. The only reason that she doesn’t do our transcripts anymore actually is because her husband retired and so she has a full time job going places with him. He had always wanted to travel.

You had this experience and you are going to have to do a little work here, because I think a couple of things are going on here. To cut to the chase just so that you won’t be going, “Oh, I wish she’d get this over with so that I’ll know if I have done the right thing.” Yes, I think that you have done the right thing. I am going to encourage you, but first of all I need to untangle some perceptions that you have because I think that the experience was made up of two separate factors. It would make more sense, I think, if I try to separate them so that you can see that they are separate, even if they have the same experiential details.

I believe that you were doing two things when you got channeling in the past and when you began to alter your attitude towards channeling. One was leaving your body and your consciousness was in your body. You are, of course, not the body. There is this animal that has given its life for you. It carries you around. It has senses like crazy. It picks up all sorts of data and your biocomputer processes it according to programs that you will accept, usually in childhood and often never touched again except by people like you and me who really want to make a difference in ourselves so that we can make a difference in the planet.

As Ra said, “If one is eliminated, are not all?” When you leave a body, you get to a certain point, which I believe you are identifying with the spirit of mind in which channeling is possible. It is a state of mind in which there is a lot of vibration, usually. A static kind of sound and that is because you not getting out of your body very gracefully. People that do it regularly and have conscious experiences out of their body, of which I am not one, can tell you all about that. If you are interested in out-of-body experiences, using our—it is an older book, actually two books and very sound in this area. This first book is “Johnny Is Out of the Body,” I think. I am not sure if that was the name or not. I don’t remember the name of the second book, but it was along the same lines in that it tells you basically what people saw when they left their bodies.

Pretty much an anecdotal book, but written by someone scientific enough to draw some conclusions. And he still has work going on very active in this area. He has a foundation. He is somewhere on the other side of the Appalachians, maybe West Virginia. Anyway he is over the hill from here to the east and has a workshop all of the time. We get a newsletter once in a while listing weekends and weeks and programs that he gives. Of course, they all cost.

I have not found it helpful to go out of body, although I did exactly that during the Ra contact. I never knew how I did it. It wore me out tremendously. I would lose between two and three pounds after every session. At one point, I was down to 84 pounds and I am 5 foot 4 1/2 inches so I am here to tell you that going out of your body really makes you need to be very well protected. As far as my spirit was concerned, I was extremely well protected. I was with those of Ra, so they told Don and I believe that to be so. It is simply not a thing you want to do without guidance and I can’t give you guidance so if you are interested in leaving your body, you can visit the Monroe Institute. You can study Eckankar, which works on leaving your body. You can read on the subject, but I can’t help you there. It is just that I wouldn’t suggest doing it alone. I would suggest it only with a teacher.

I would also not suggest to attempt to channel entities that are of an impersonal nature until you can get with a group. A group could frustrate the heck out of you except for one out and that is, that if you work at your being conscious of what is going on. Just that, to be more conscious, be better, meditate more, but just being conscious of what is happening puts you in a more complete state-of-mind than most people. If you are just paying attention to feelings, to the way you take things, you are given clues and data that can add up to wisdom. The problem is that you have it in your raw computer, which may well be a matter of fact and putting it into a very low grade parody or even noting physical points. That has almost nothing whatsoever to do with survival in the here and now. This animal that uses the computer to make choices shares with you those choices and makes the choice unless you yourself decide, “No, no, body. I don’t want to do that. I want to do this.”

It is basically set up for programs of survival and for beginning of what in our mind includes the best situation possible under the circumstances. When you are starting to gather the truths that lie within you, one of the first things that has to go is the old program. You have to change or you will not get any further in yourself. Change hurts. That is why it is so good to have a group like S. to say, “Darn. The truth is I am really glad of the catalyst here, but it hurts.” And that is pretty much the way it can feel sometimes when you really are meditating for a few minutes every day, and you are paying attention and you are watching for spiritual coincidences. Never discount that because once you start noticing it, you will get hints as to your past from every tree, and stone, and flower and person that you meet. It is amazing.

Once you start accepting that data into your programming choices, you have bunches of other options that you never knew you had. You have a much wider point of view because you were giving that up for more sources. You are paying attention.

When this occurs, it can either be ephemeral, thought and forgotten, or you can begin thinking to yourself by means of a journal (and if I am right and this justified right margin is computer generated). It is easy to keep a journal because all you have to do to call up any part of it. You don’t have to write. You don’t have to break your hand doing it, but it is just thinking in an interior way out loud. You are thinking to yourself (but not just letting concepts slide by) about most things, and writing about them and maybe what happened to you when you tried to pay attention to this. Or, several different things happened coincidentally and you want to remember the order in which they happened. You are at that point, maybe, coincidentally exactly as to what you were doing and thinking before these coincidences occurred.

In this way, although it sounds like a very, very slow way to gain the kind of wisdom that you would receive in channeling, you are preparing yourself for channeling in the future because every time you pay attention to your feelings especially, they are your real wisdom. They are your real brain, where the mind of your spirit is in your heart. You pay attention to how you feel. If you feel badly, you try to sort of track that on back and keep going back until you’ve hit as close as you can to the original experience that has given you grief through all of these years. You realize when you put it down on paper that this is a problem of perception, not a problem of condition, whatever it is that you are working on, and so you widen your field of perception as much as you can.

Within you and within all of us lies all of the information that there is. It is just really well hid. Really and truly well stashed. The process of journaling or essaying, or whatever you wish to call it, is a safe way of remaining within your own guidance and still channeling into, making a channel into a pipeline, a duct, into the self-conscious, true-self. This is an aspect of you that has been hidden, or nearly completely hidden by the veil of forgetting that happens at birth.

In this incarnate state, people almost always identify themselves with the body of the animal that gets them around, not a spiritual state. So you try to take the best care you can of your body, but you are certainly not your body. You are a metaphysical, inexhaustible, infinite and eternal spirit. You are life—coherent, conscious life. You are an original manifestation of the Father, which is love. Love being all that there is and all that the Creator had to work with, besides free will is a generous thing. He gave us all this free will. He doesn’t want us to do this, that or the other thing. He just wants to experience what it is like being love.

He is learning about Himself. She is learning about Herself, whichever. (I think semantics is a hoot.)

Now that I have told you, besides meditating, and paying attention and maybe at the end of the day, sitting again, but not in meditation as much as in contemplation of anything that pulled you off your center during the day. Of course, you have been paying attention so you are aware of what made you unreasonably happy or unreasonably unhappy to this society’s words. I don’t believe happiness is in any form an objective to the work of attaining. I believe in what I used to choose to call the 180° rule: that if it looks right, it is wrong. If it looks like it won’t do you any good at all, it will be the best thing for you. Try it some time. Apply it to circumstances and see where you have gotten the most learning and messed up. You were miserable at the time, right? That is the way it is. That is the way the spiritual life is.

You take, say a negative experience (and this is all in the Ra material, but unless you have been listening to it over and over again for ten years, you might miss this little bit, but we read it along with the Bible and another book that has been recommended to us either by own interests or someone saying, you really must read it, as part of our morning offering), if you have been really frustrated about something, you balance that feeling towards the energy center first by allowing that emotion to intensify. When you allow it to intensify, unless you are a very dramatic type like myself, (I never do this as I have too much imagination and scare myself to death) after it has been held in the mind for a while, and I am sure this is true of people who do this like Jim McCarty, the opposite will begin to come in. It calms itself. It is the antithesis.

You allow that opposite feeling, the antithesis, to become more and more intense until you are bathed in indescribable contentment. At that point, you simply let go and see those points of view. They are two sides of the same coin. Patience and impatience, backwards.

Those are all of the things that you can do with inner guidance and without danger to yourself, either by leaving the body before you have conscious control of your actions while you are out of the body or by channeling before you have gotten some guided help in finding your work and your gift. When you asked me, “What made me think that you saw something in my letter that led you to believe that I am in fact channeling, what was it that you saw?” Well, M, I don’t know. There are just too many people for me to be the person I would like to be. I would like to know everybody who writes in well enough to remember exactly, but I don’t. I am sorry.

Usually I respond honestly and instinctually. My instincts are fairly well informed by this time since I have been listening to channeling since 1962 and channeling it since ’74 and teaching it less and less as I discovered various problems with teaching it since ’75.

There is something about the shape of it, the feel of it, that said to me, this is channeling. The guy isn’t making this up. He is not stringing together a bunch of other stuff and sticking in a bunch of words like inferment and atonement and at-onement. I find people that channel use words like that a lot. There was contact and it is just that your words stopped and another voice began. It wasn’t your words. It wasn’t your conscious self. It wasn’t you making something up with your conscious self.

I trust my instinct pretty well and I am sorry if that is absolutely how I know when I said that you were channeling. I said probably the reason that I took as much time as I did was because I felt that you were indeed channeling and that I was concerned.

Let me approach the central point of what I have to say to you. Mind you, this is all my own opinion so don’t take up anything that you don’t feel right to you.

“Fear not for I am with you.” Memorize that. FEAR not, for I AM with you. There is nothing to fear. The worse thing that can happen to you is death of this dear animal that people recognize as being real, that we recognize ourselves in the mirror. But we are not that body. It isn’t your fate. About the only thing that is anywhere near real are your eyes, often called the “windows of the soul” by people being more cliché ridden than myself. There is nothing to be scared of. Sure, you can get the old adrenalin pumping in a situation in which your body is going to be dropped or anything. You don’t know what comes next. You haven’t been there yet. Or at least you don’t remember that you have been there yet. Philosophies scare us. Lots of things we are afraid of.

It is important metaphysically to refrain from fear. The fear involves, in my opinion, a misjudgment, an erroneous estimation of ourselves and of all of the beings in the Universe. Fear indicates that someone could have power over us. I guess some people do from time-to-time have power over us—our parents, our teachers, our mates, our friends to the degree to which we let them. They have some button that they can push emotionally. We are in bondage and that is part of the programming that needs to be removed so that you can cease judging and accept everybody. Not their behavior, just them. It is all forgiven in the basic gestalt anyway because all time is simultaneous, at least that is what I think.

Not that I can image that. That is the only thing that makes sense to me now.

Everything else involves too much explanation and the simple things are probably the truth.

We are all made of the same thing. There is only one thing—there are two absolutes actually because the first portion that Love chose for itself was freedom. That is why infringement of any kind on anyone’s free will is unacceptable to a metaphysical student that is on the path of service-to-others. And, of course, that is why I picked up immediately that you were experiencing a non-positive contact. There is something in there that says the will is being abridged or they are talking about ideas that separate and create fear like gloom, doom; the apocalypse is now; head for the hills; there are some of the chosen and some that are not. Any kind of thing that causes some to be elite and some that is not. I really don’t know what it was that I caught that said to me, “Look out, kid.”

Again, I really don’t doubt my instincts here because I have been in the field a long time, and I am genuine. Whatever else I am, I never take any money and this is just a labor of love. I really care about you. I really care about everybody, one at a time. I find the concept of saving the world impossible. One at a time is my style. I am not a grandiose person.

You see this kind of energy that came at you actually was that you had been processing the information about that this could be a negative channel, to try the challenging process, etc. and so you heard words that upset you. It might not have even been a voice. It might have been perceived as a voice, but instead been a series of tones that was designed to get you to start getting you back into your body. That would be the most protective thing a guide would do, would be to make that possible. And what probably happened was the negative entity wanted very much for you to stay out of your body so you made a messy landing and that is what they feel like. They hurt in the solar plexus area. Probably your upper body pain and shock was due not primarily to the negative entity, but simply to the mechanics of having been interfered with in the process of attempting to reenter your body.

If that happens, you snap back into the body by instinct because the body is protecting itself. You don’t have anything to do with it. Your animal takes over and says, “Get back in here.” And you hurt yourself because you are supposed to tuck and roll when you go in and when you go out. Now I don’t do it. I just know that you are supposed to tuck and roll because I have read it; I have suggested it to several different people who were doing perfectly well in leaving their bodies, but were having some discomfort. They were conscious outside of their bodies and were exploring around, but staying in this reality, which I think is very healthy. And not doing the theosophical bit of heading off for various astral planes, which demand a kind of emotional, mental and spiritual discipline that perhaps the saints have. Mother Theresa might be able to do it. I don’t believe either of us has a whole lot in common with the lady, so then this lessens our abilities.

But everybody in the Universe, every being, no matter how supposedly far advanced—this is a democratic Universe. An absolutely democratic Universe so the way all of us are made is Love, which is an absolute. It is not a relative thing and we are talking about the Creator or the creative logos, the active principle of Intelligent Infinity. We are talking about absolute and unconditional love.

The Creator loved us first. Our love for the Creator and our desires from the Creator is only common sense. It is not some grand censure alone. It is not something cool, although I think it is somewhat in fashion to be channeling stuff.

Our very nature is Love, but, in order to manifest, we had to team with its dynamic, absolute antithesis, which is manifestation, the first manifestation being light. Consequently we are made of free will and Love in equal proportions. Love of absolute and always the same free will is absolute and always various. Consequently as each of us has an unique portion of free will, we are unique beings, but the free will is only a distortion of the Love. Whatever people look like on the outside at the level of creation, at the level of our first manifestation, which is as a light being, we didn’t always have this body. We are all exactly, absolutely and perfectly equal. Consequently, the only thing that gives one entity power over the other in the spirit world now (I am not talking about business. I am not talking about situations. I am talking about absolutely here.), the only thing that gives us power that allows us to be a magic personality, a metaphysical real being or self-realized being is to know who we are.

Most people cannot at all know who they are. They know some of what they like. They know some of what they don’t like. They know a lot of behaviors that are appropriate under certain conditions and there are many people who are content at this time to go through life behaving. There is something better. It is called being who you are when you strip away the things that aren’t real, that you don’t really feel as part of your identity. You generally discover yourself hovering around either one ideal or a constellation of ideals like truth, honesty, beauty, love.

When you have gotten that far, you have switched from the relative to the absolute in asking yourself who you are. You have finally gotten on the right track for doing work in consciousness, which is what you really want to do. That is why you were channeling and that is why you are still wanting to channel. So I am here to tell you that although you have the gift, it may or may not be your path of service. Your path of service basically comes up and hits you across the forehead with a 2 x 4. Your path of service is whatever is in front of you right now.

My path of service, I would never have guessed to be, channeling. I might have guessed teaching except I don’t like to criticize people. I like to appreciate them—that is different, a big difference sometimes.

But I did. That is what happened to me because I had been hit over the head with 2 x 4s, the biggest one being Don in 1974, saying, “Well you have been listening to these messages for twelve years. You are working for me. We are partners. I am gone half of the time. You have got to learn to channel because most of the original channels of this group have gone out of town and we need a new crop of channels.” So whenever Don was home, and as soon as I learned to channel (it didn’t matter whether he was home or not. He was gone a little over half of the time as he was a airline pilot), we started having daily intensive meditations and by intensive, that is just the way I say, teaching somebody to channel during the meditation because, boy, do they feel intense! They feel intense even if you are not the one learning.

You find yourself, “Come on. Okay, you can do it.” Even the teacher, teach/learner is sitting there trying to help so there would be several extra amps to boost the game a little bit so the person can do this thing a little bit more comfortably.

I learned to channel. I worked for the guy. He called us partners. In actuality, he paid me $300 a month for as long as I was able to work. I was disabled I guess about after seven or eight years of working for him and was unable to work enough to satisfy for my own requirements for taking his money. At that point, I couldn’t write or sit up even and I think Don did almost everything in the application for me. He wrote down what I said, talked to the lawyer over the phone for my Social Security. I had always heard that it is impossible to get disability, but those people even came and talked to me. The lady over the telephone, she would ask a question about something that had made me ill at some point during my life, and that would lead to a couple of other conditions that I neglected to mention. I guess she must have talked all together about an hour and half to both of us. And that was it. I think they did send somebody out and a couple of my neighbors in the same building (I was in an apartment then) were asked a couple of questions, very, very politely, not being harassing or anything.

Then I was on Social Security, which humorously enough paid me more than I had ever gotten in my life. Since I had never gone for the money, the most I ever got was $300 a month. Don just hired me away from being a librarian by paying me the same amount of money.

That’s what I mean by a 2 x 4. You don’t have to sneak around for nuances if you are supposed to be channeling, you will channel. Somebody will hear you. It will happen for you. There are unimaginable numbers of other paths of service and I believe that any path of service in which the person is serving in that particular way because of love of the Creator is quite equal to any other service. The mother that takes care of the child, the janitor that picks up stuff from the floor are equal to a good channel, a good healer. So this is service. We have different qualities of different gifts, so whenever it is time for you to make a contact, if it is time for you to make a contact with a source that finds you good to use, it will be because you have done the work that you are doing now. That is, figuring out who you are and becoming more and more the essential you, whatever that is.

This is not a way of life designed to make you happy. This is a way of life designed to maximize the rate of acceleration of your spiritual growth and evolution within this lifetime. This is a fairly important lifetime for us whether we are Wanderers who came here or whether we are earth people. We all have to pass the same ten minute quiz at the end of this incarnation. We get to look at our own lives and judge ourselves.

You know how hard it is to forgive yourself? That is, when we are alive. I wonder what it is like when we are dead to this life and alive to a larger life. I’d hate to be my judge right now. I’ve got some things to do before I die. I’ve got some people to forgive. Oh, I suppose the forgiveness is done, but the forgetting, but the idea of being a channel is to be hollow. You hollow out that little petty part of yourself that has these demands. Now you can have all the preferences you want, but it is distinctly unwise to go through life with demands. You get your way, but you never find out what is beneath the demanding. I stayed on the top.

I have an information medium that is so rich that you can dive in. Basically what you want to is keep going through the process of the silent listening meditation daily. You’ll soon hear either nothing or your own gods or many things, depending on your own personal make-up. All of these ways of perceiving are valid to the person who is perceiving them.

This is an illusion. It is your universe. It is not mine. It is a very subjective place here. So I really recommend: No. 1. (Now we are cutting to the chase.) When you are in this state of almost going to sleep, which is called, I believe, the hypnologic state, you say to yourself that you want to go to sleep. You do not want to leave your body. Just simply tell that to yourself. Mean it, and don’t go quite that low when you mediate. Stop at a point at which you are alert and listening. You have not begun to drowse.

No. 2: Please don’t try to learn to channel by yourself. I have seen the damage it can do. Really it is not worth the risk. You need somebody there who has some experience and who can kind of walk the watch tower for you while you are getting your sea legs.

“Fear not, for I am with you. I am the sacred, secret name of the Creator.” The I AM is not only with you. It is the deepest part of yourself. I do not suggest jumping off tall buildings. I am talking about metaphysical here. You don’t have to be afraid of any spirit if you know who you are. And if you have some trouble with that concept, I am going to ask you if you have ever seen any channel material where a spirit was having an identity crisis? It doesn’t happen. The spirit is stripped down to its essential self. It is just being while we are also capable of being. We simply have to grasp the nature and what you most believe in to the point of passion.

I ask people again and again, the passion that you feel in red ray energy, sexual energy, find it and have that passion for other things too. It is annoying not to be a passionate person and it is less informative. If you allow your feelings to be sweet, and clear, and strong, then you can do this more and more as you get to know yourself more and more. You can find life, and vividness, and intensity and joy, even in the bitterest circumstances because your programming is going to be changing, and changing, and changing until you begin to see the illusion and exactly what it is. A series of audio visual aids to spiritual growth.

I do believe you were, in fact, channeling. I trust my instinct and I don’t ask you to trust that or believe that. I ask you to try it on for size. If it feels right and conditions continue to indicate that there was something to that, then you might go on that assumption. It is empirical, but that is about the best we can do in this illusion.

I will be glad any time that you want to come to Louisville to talk with you and listen to you any weekend. It would be not at all my preference that anyone visit during the week because it is that our life is steeped in obscurity basically and a reclusive nature that has nurtured Jim and me and our work for along time. If we, for instance: there was this guy named Q. that was writing a book about channeling. He contacted us with great vigor and enthusiasm about our work and wanting to feature us in sort of the same way that Shirley Maclaine had featured certain people she has run into as channels and we opted out.

We basically did not feel that we would be doing ourselves any favors at all by being well known. That wasn’t one of our goals. I think the kind of information we work with doesn’t make sense to people until they are ready for it, and I am no apostle. I don’t believe in missionary work.

If people believe something, than that is fine. Let them believe what they want to believe. If they find our stuff interesting, fine. I really don’t have a preference there. I don’t expect people to be just like me or to want to be like me. But I would be more than glad to listen on the weekend. Jim is completely unavailable because he is busy as a bee doing everything. I can do almost nothing except talk and it is not fair to ask him to do much in the way of philosophizing, etc. as Saturdays and Sundays are days he gets things done. Guests often can help him with some of it, but he has to get the work done. I am afraid you have to settle for yours truly, but at any rate, I am here and would be glad to share time with you at any time that it is possible for both of us to be here at the same time.

I prefer not to work on the phone. It hurts my shoulder. I don’t like phones any way so we will enclose how to get here with a letter with my tape, if you intend to do that. We fix up a tape letter so they don’t come apart in the mail, but please don’t give out that phone number and please don’t call unless it is absolutely necessary and expect a machine as it probably will not to be picked up. We pick up our calls once a day. We don’t mean to be rude, but telephones are rude. [inaudible].