FREE WILL AND SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION

Group question: Considering the extreme power of the will, why is it that we do not automatically and always polarize towards service to each other and the seeking and serving of the Creator?

(Q’uo, October 21, 1990)

I am Q’uo. It gives me great pleasure to greet each of you in the love and in the light of the One Infinite Creator. We are so grateful to you for allowing us to share your meditation and your thoughts, and for calling us to speak upon this question. Take all that we say and toss away without a thought that which does not strike within you a recognition. For you do not learn wisdom and love; you only encounter catalyst to remember it. It is all within yourself.

It is our understanding that each soul is created prior to any stage for manifestation. It is created by the action of free will upon an infinite but tiny portion of the vast infinity of intelligence. This intelligence, were it to have a name besides Creator, indicating one original thought, would be Love. However, a Love of such a fiery, creative, disturbing and magnificent nature can never be confined by language, so we must make do with the pale shadow of the reality of this Logos, this Creator. The method of this creation was to place finity within the infinite. Thus, a spark of Love was given an infinite and equal spark of free will. We realize that these are paradoxes and have no choice but to say them anyway. Again, your language has its limitations. Just as Love is infinitely and ever the same, so is free will infinitely and ever various. Thusly, although each of you is as a snowflake, unique in pattern and color, so is each of you snowfall and part of the whole cycle of the year that you experience as your island home circles about your sun.

Equipped with free will, you set forth on a journey through illusions. These illusions, in our understanding, make use of the illusion of time so that lessons may be taken in order and all possible aid given to each density of light, or classroom. The first density is that of being: the earth, the air, the fire, and the water. Consciousness first rests there and awakens to its surroundings, is warmed by the sun, is blown by the wind, and gradually each spark becomes aware that there is a darkness and a light, and it conceives of the idea of movement because it is attracted to the light.

And so comes the second density, as the elements grow in consciousness and become capable of expressing the Creator. As they express the Creator they express perfect service, a beautiful and complex dance of bird and butterfly, leaf, flower, the breathing out of that which you breathe in, the breathing in of that which you breathe out. More and more in second density do entities begin to become more than instinctual, more than creatures of love and service and instinct, to begin to be aware of themselves, usually, because third-density entities have ministered unto them and loved them. And when they have learned the instinct of turning to the light, their graduation is at hand and they become self conscious sparks of the Infinite One.

But in this grade, and only in this third grade, or density, is there a brevity of the time allowed for learning, and a great veil is drawn across most of the mind. It is intended that this illusion be so heavy, so earthy, so entrancing and distracting that it would be completely obvious to the casual observer that we are brief, incandescent beings, alive so little and dead so soon.

At this point the entity is asleep to that which is the business of this density: the making of the choice. For you see, there are two paths to the Creator; they are both valid. We do not teach the path of negativity, often called the path of the left hand, or by us, the path of that which is not. It is, however, a valid path, though very difficult compared to the service-to-others path. This choice must be made blindly. Thus there is never any objective proof, that is, objective enough to be objective to a scientist, of the value or efficacy of this path. It is in this darkness, by blind faith alone, that a leap is taken from the safety of sleep to the risk of being awake.

Thusly, in your grade or density of light, your interest as a spiritual seeker is in tuning into love. Love, that much misunderstood word, in our definition, is unconditional. It does not judge; it only supports and appreciates, listens, and has patience, consoles and pardons. Does love do this because of what it has given the entity in third density? No. If this were so, then all would be saints, and free will would not need to be reckoned with as it is. For free will begins as willfulness; it is completely various, unpredictable. It is an absolute, just as love is an absolute. They are given to you equally.

As long as the entity is willing to get along, to be asleep, it may be very comfortable. It has not polarized, of course, because it does not value sacrifice, and to polarize by serving others seems, to those who have not yet done it, a very hard task compared to pleasing the self one way or another. But for everyone there comes a moment, and one must wait for that moment in all cases, when the soul must awaken, for that individual, in the rhythm of that individuals destiny and story. And in that moment the choice becomes clear: to serve the self, or to serve others; to be put simplistically, as so many of your society would, good or bad, except that there is no good or bad. Realizations such as this continually rock the foundations of the seeker’s cultural conditioning.

Think about this for a moment or two. What is your cultural conditioning? Were you taught the value of love by those who were your first teachers? Were you face to face daily with worship and joy and peace? Is there aught in this society that seems to be worshipped but vain idols: money, power, position, genius? Who are the healers? Were the carefullest health-lovers correct, the highest and most advanced beings would all be splendidly athletic. Somehow that is not often the manifestation of love, for love is of the heart. And those who have learned, offer not their love, which is finite and which is in short supply in any third-density entity, but the love of the One Creator that flows through the seeker who is open and has emptied itself out, so that love becomes the love that is available for the seeker to manifest.

Then has that seeker begun its life’s work, lightening the consciousness of this planet at this time. No matter what dramatic talents and gifts one may possess, no matter how well one may do anything that is manifest, the greatest service in this density is being, itself. Your essence, to put it another way, your magical personality, or to put it yet another way, your metaphysical reality as a light and imperishable being, is completely at the mercy of illusion here.

So you see it is intended that this choice be difficult and that the rewards of service to others never be guessed at until after the fact. For you, and almost all entities, are born into the world in a state of utter and complete forgetting of who you are, whence you came, whither you go. The nature of the Creator or your relationship to the Creator, or even of your own nature; all of these things are unknown. And it is against this backdrop of unknowing, of scenes occurring which begin to test the individuals ability to love, that the drama, which stares at you, which has as its chief critic, you, which has as designer of sets and costumes and props, you, which has as its author, you, begins its act upon the stage, which is this illusion. You have free will, but that does not necessarily mean that you understand the free will.

It is not easy to understand that you are not this being or that being, not this self that has so many idiosyncrasies, but under different circumstances would be anywhere within the 360 degrees of third-density activity and manifestation. Who is the killer, who is the rapist, who is the forgetful parent, who is the man of war, but you, and you, and I, and all of us? The essence of the reason that you are not given an instinct for purity is in this understanding of free will. The discipline of the personality is the greatest tool for coming to understand and to forgive the 360-degree self, to acknowledge and love that self, that self that must be loved. This is a key that many miss. You must love yourself; your must forgive yourself for the thoughts that you have thought, the errors that you have made, those things you wish to have done but did not. Subjectively you feel that these make you unworthy, and to that extent you fail to love the Creator, the creation, in all of its love, all of its Christ, all of its holiness.

Now how does one discipline the personality? It is most difficult to live with complete freedom and always to make what you would subjectively feel to be the correct decision. One of the great traits of the seeker is its persistence, for gathered persistence is absolutely necessary. The failures of the self seem so many, and if you do not forgive yourself, how can you expect to forgive others, and how can you bless others if you do not forgive, if you do not feel healing love pouring from you? Whether this entity is known to you or unknown, whether this entity may be subjectively described as friend or enemy, the same love is needed by all to heal the needs and the behavior caused by the variousness of free will and the variousness of man’s understanding of it. There is love, and only love, and it is always and ever the same creative, original thought.

Thus, in a dark time and in the shadow of death that you call life, you seek to forgive, and pardon, and love, and turn darkness into light wherever you see the way, and to serve, if not to please. You may all be judged because you do not please, but those who wish to serve often do not please; and if you are reviled for your love of the Creator, then you have done something right, and you are beginning to create the catalyst for fear among people that are already fearful because they do not wish to change, because change is uncomfortable. Pilgrims upon the path of seeming are always uncomfortable, always changing, always seeking. One cannot say to another, “Come with me on this journey; it will be all rose petals and ambrosia; there will be nothing but good times, for the Creator is love.” The best that you can say is, “Come suffer with me until we learn that there is no such thing as suffering, but only pain, and not my pain and not your pain. Come die with me, that we all may live. Come, let us empty ourselves of self, that we may be earthen vessels filled with treasure, dust in the presence of the Creator.

You are on holy ground at this moment. Let us pause, that we may share this ecstasy.

[Short pause.]

The first choice that one makes may be seen to be the fulcrum or the crux upon which the remainder, not only of this incarnation, but of many, will depend, and each pilgrim knows that that first choice is the hard one, for it must be made with no prior experience. It is not until some time has been spent attempting to live in faith that one begins to see how anything that occurs is part of the lesson of love and offers one an opportunity. And by faith we mean a simple faith, faith that the Creator is love, that we were created out of love, and because we are loved, and because we were loved first it is natural to love in return. When you are stymied, and your free will wishes to circumnavigate a situation, allow the choices you have made to polarize toward service to others to make you strong in your will. Allow yourself to remember your previous choices and how, although they seemed hard, they were one hundred and one thousand fold rewarding. For it is not until there has been some time spent in sheer persistence of effort to listen to the will of the Creator that there comes a hunger for that silence that speaks louder than any words.

In a lifetime of choices you forged in yourself a life of faith, a gift for the One Creator, the gift of a poem, of a tapestry, rich, lovely, filled with high ideals and high hopes, against all odds, filled not with happiness, for only those things that turn to dust are happy things, but filled instead with joy, joy within sorrow, sorrow within joy, until you are blissful, and gentle, and willfulness had become willingness to love and serve the Creator in every person. Subjectively, then, you begin to be rewarded only after you have made your choice. That is the cause of the illusion’s being this heavy, this thick, this opaque. The Creator, in giving free will, gave it without stint.

There are hints in one’s own deepest inward thoughts, in the very nature of this very polarized environment in which you live with hot and cold, winter and summer, light and dark. But they do not speak unless you wish to listen. And as you listen, and as you change, you must change that which seems to be your self, but which is, in reality, the programs that your own brain/computer has set in place for your survival, shaped by the culture which has almost no impulse towards holy things of the Creator, but only towards beautiful things of man. The spirit within must sense its own reality and choose freely what seems to be the great sacrifice of taking up the cross, the carrying on of the endless journey that ends by the water, the water of life, crystalline love.

We thank you again for the honor of speaking with you, and at this time we shall take our leave of this group. We leave each in the love and in the light of the One Infinite Creator. We are known to you as those of Q’uo. Adonai, my friends, adonai.

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