¶BALANCING DISTORTIONS
Group question: How do we proceed when we have begun to accept ourselves and the distortions that we feel? What is the next step in order that we can more easily and fully achieve the balancing of all of these distortions, so that the light moves through us in a way that allows us to radiate it to others, rather than hold it in the distorted form in one particular energy center?
(Q’uo, July 7, 1991)
I am of the principle known to you as Q’uo. Greetings, love, light, and blessings to each of you. We have gently aided this instrument’s physical vehicle into a far more relaxed configuration than it was able to achieve consciously, and so we shall be somewhat measured in our speaking; however, we are pleased to be aware that this does not create any difficulty for this blessed group of seekers after the Truth.
The central question of consciousness is its definition; and the central concern of those who wish to work in consciousness, is to be enough aware of that definition that the quest becomes centered and focused. When we spoke last concerning the spiritual path and moved seemingly backwards into underlying material concerning the processes of perception, our intention was to begin a dialogue in which each questioner may gaze at the mechanical, as well as metaphysical, means of prosecuting a plan of development as a seeker, in the most lucid way possible. Consequently, we felt that we needed to stress to each seeker the enormous subtlety of the process by which each gathers the information which is then put to use in grasping where this consciousness moves, where it lives, where it is exultant and alive beneath, above, and beyond all perceived limitation.
It is common for those who are seeking to assume that their role in the seeking has some intended emotional bias that would appear as noticeably metaphysical or spiritual. However, we pin you to the spot where you may gaze at the mechanical process of perception; for, if consciousness is but is not perceived this consciousness is infinite and intelligent, but without any form.
Each seeker senses an enormous framework of form and substance, not only about each organ and bone and muscle of your physical vehicles, but also of each tender sprout of new thought, each seemingly larger truth. It is well for serious seekers to begin squarely gazing at the impossibility of, in any final way, becoming able to control perception. If spiritual seekers, or any who experience third density, put within their intelligence the estimate that intelligence will deliver correct answers, this entity has made a fundamental error. Each seeker perceives poorly. Each seeker planned to perceive poorly.
Thusly, as we begin this day, we ask that you see yourself in compassion. For every truth that you may feel you know, there are a thousand biases that have moved into the web of your energies and become solidified in some way that only dimly reflects the actual consciousness that each seeker is. You are not shoddy materials. The improvement of the spiritual quest is not particularly dependent upon the accuracy of the perceptions noted since all perceptions will be, to a very linear and mechanically-seen extent, biased and imperfect. Thusly, as one works consciously to form an ever more authentic and true life experience one must move into an authentic humility concerning the nature of this particular classroom which you now enjoy.
Let us rest in peace and in self-compassion, in the truth that is most nearly true: that being that there is no necessity for becoming wiser, more mature, more special, as your harvest and bounty of lessons learned is brought in. You do, indeed, have harvest each day in your experience. You do, indeed, store it and work with it. But start from this point: that you are aware that the work that you can do will be done as well as each can do it, and it will be imperfectly perceived.
A choice fundamental to the third-density experience is the decision to become individual in an apparent and gross fashion. When two hands meet they do not join organically to form a being with four hands and two bodies. No individual touches another in the deepest sense; yet, all individuals are you, so that as you perceive others’ paths you are then at your most skillful in ascertaining your own spiritual sensibility. The third-density entity cannot perceive clearly because it is imperceptible that there is only one being and that each of you is the “I AM.” So you gaze at the dark mirror of yourself and find the need to refresh the self as one sees one’s self in the endless series of distorted and flawed mirrors which one may find in a carnival. You may see yourself tall or short, fat or thin, strange or lovely; but all the mirrors of the self are flawed. That flaw continues as the entity gazes at others; however, as the seeker gazes at pilgrims upon the same road, the artificial separation creates a spurious but helpful clarity, in seeing in another a far less distorted mirror. Consequently, a tool that can be used at any time to center and focus the self upon learning is to gaze at that seemingly separate self with your more impersonal viewpoint and, thusly, see yourself.
What have you said about others today? What have you thought about your companions? Whatever it may be, it was only apparently a consideration of an other self. It was, far more deeply, an examination of the self in the mirror which another self has offered you This leads us to suggest that, although persistence and determination are absolutely fundamental to working within spiritual consciousness, there is far, far more that moves into the equations of learning. Take the self, then, off of the barb, away from the hook of one’s own judgment. You did not come here to memorize lessons. You came to this arena of choice to be a choice, not simply to espouse a point of view. The espousal of a point of view is cerebral. The beingness or essence or vitality of the self is without words. It simply is.
It, of course, is a difficult task to learn anything and doubly difficult when all the books are open but there is no illumination by which one may read the simple, generous, and lovely answers from the textbook. You can only hold that Book of Truth that is your heart’s wisdom in a trusting awareness and so give up yourself to yourself by your self-compassion, that this beloved wisdom begins to soften that which is you, not that which you think or that which you feel or that which you do, but that which is. You are a verb, not a noun. You are not a thing. You are. The simplicity of this beingness eludes the mind and refuses to obey any particular form of behavior. As the seeker moves along this self-perceived path it acts and thinks and talks and believes that it is those activities, there being no evidence to the contrary; but, as it turns and faces the inevitable distortions involved in the process of perception itself, it is easier to see that the path of the seeker is not going to fall along any planned or consciously desired outcome, unless that happens to be a natural fruit of your particular being.
We ask all seekers to remove from themselves the request to have more or less comfort, more or less perceived awareness, or more or less of any valued quality, for each of you is now infinite, and in this moment is all things.
Imagine this allness of you. Your consciousness is attempting to pack the baggage that you may carry along this path of seeking. Can it put in the sky, the moon, the stars, the universe, the question, the mystery? Can any suitcase of selfhood hold the burden of imperishability? No, my friends. This classroom will continue, while each is willing to put one’s self to the task to offer falsehood after falsehood and trouble upon woe, in addition to all joyful things; for, the suitcase you carry is a suitcase full of your masks, but you are not in the suitcase. You simply carry about in this classroom a collection of personas, of masks, of behaviors that have seemed helpful and hopeful in past choices.
When one enters the first grade, one expects to have some difficulty learning the alphabet, the handwriting, the simple mathematics of your childhood days. It is, within the scholastic system of your peoples, recognized that as each entity moves towards the study leading to the getting of a diploma indicating a skill in study-more and more complex, difficult, challenging, and interesting lessons-perhaps the graduate student cavils at the increasing difficulty at producing what seems to be excellence; yet, the graduate student does not feel betrayed because higher learning is harder than memorizing sums or the spelling of words. The incarnation, as it moves forward, sideways, in a circle, or whatever model your truth tells you you’re moving, will be constantly offering puzzlement, difficulties, and many, many unanswered questions. The hope of one who hopes to know the Truth is simply that.
Within your third-density illusion it seems that if one becomes wise, in just such measure will one become more comfortable; yet, true learning has as its hallmark, discomfort. Look gently at the body that bears you. Feel the points of pressure as you sit. Feel the breathing, the musculature, the saliva in the mouth, the noise in the ears, all the many, myriad sensations of this particular environment. Feel the weight of the thoughts that do not go away, even in the most interesting discussion. Feel the self wishing to delimit its self to make boundaries, to define differences, to express uniqueness. See the uneasiness that this will cause consciousness, for, insofar as each perceives itself as unique, so does it perceive itself with distortion.
We wish to give you tools that you may use in order more nearly to love the Love that is you-that is all other things whatsoever that indeed is. You are as a small vase, perhaps beautifully made, perhaps made with some clumsiness, but a good watertight vase. You see the vase. You are the flower. You will never see yourself in flower. You will see the vase, the tending of the vase, the watering, the cleaning, the movement towards the light.
Thus, the first tool we would offer when an entity perceives discomfort and agony is to suggest that the entity drop all known facts about the self, that the entity allow that structure, that vase, to be just that: that which holds an ineffable, singular consciousness, and holds it in common with all the creation.
You may, without spiritually defaming yourself, be critical of the vase. You may hallow and honor the privilege of being the container of self-perceived consciousness. But to know the flower that is your consciousness is not part of your choice-making experience; for if you knew beyond any doubt that you were the flower, why would you need the vase? Why would you ever have cut this flower away from the root of all that there is? Why, but to regard not your flower (for you are blind inly) but the flower that is all other entities, that is you.
Look again at all you have seen this day. Do you see the vase? Do you judge the vase? Do you notice the bloom, the flower, that which is in each face that you see? This choice-making density is intended to move as quickly as the seeker wishes through the various lessons of learning to love the flower of consciousness, and to embrace consciousness.
You are the beholder and you are beheld. When emotions run high and spiritual exhaustion is deep, you may wish that you were not this vase and you do not have to be the vase that you are. The flower is unchangeable, immutable, and everlasting; and you are learning how to value that flower, not because it is you, not because it is something that you have called the Creator, not because of anything, but because that is all that there is. And in these choice-making lifetimes you are shaping that gift to yourself that is the most beautiful receptacle for love that you may create.
Each hardship, each disappointment, each perceived difficulty is, in its own way, true. Vases crack, break, must be made again, must be scrapped and started over, must be retouched; but you are not working on love; you are working on how to honor love. Let this be your first tool when your emotional vase seems crazed and twisted and altogether out of round: know that you can throw that pot back into the wet, soft clay, take the slip cut, and re-cut and re-cut your pot anew. Line it as you will; paint it; enamel it; fire it; stud it with jewels, or be unassuming knowing that love needs no decoration.
But you are safe. These things are occurring to the vase, to the vehicle that carries the blossom of ineffable and perfect consciousness. Vases may bump together and clang and crash and nestle in so many, many configurations. The blossom is always the blossom. Do not fear loss, for you have only clay to lose. You are the blossom. Rest, beautiful, beautiful blossom. Rest.
I am Q’uo, and we are most grateful to those who sit within this circle of seeking once again for inviting our presence which we share as fully as is possible for us. Through this sharing do we take great joy, for it is the means by which we may be allowed to know and serve another facet of the One Creator, and thereby enrich the experience of ourselves, of the Creator, and, we do hope, the experience of those we serve as well. We shall take our leave of this group at this time, leaving each, as always, in the love and in the light of the One Infinite Creator. We are known to you as those of Q’uo. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.
¶NOTES TO OUR READERS
Our heartfelt thanks to Ron and Teri Brown and all the good folks who made the 4th Annual UFO Congress & Film Festival a truly wonderful experience. We met many old and new friends, and we treasure our time with each one.
May this New Year be a joyous adventure for all.