We seek to know ourselves and the Creator but do not know how to do this, as we fear we are imperfect in ourselves and our understanding, and incapable of this. How can we proceed?

Be aware that the Creator is often blocked or banished by third-density entities due to lack of awareness of the journey each came to make. However, the earth is never away from the heart of unity, love and concord.

We would suggest that you again investigate yourself within this incarnational experience. Each entity is all that is lovely and all that is not. Yet each entity can make many choices which bias him or her towards being a loving, giving source of love; for in surrendering the life to serving, the entity becomes a miracle, a wonder. Let the self come to know, respect and love this entity more and more. Let this entity become the great comfort, protection and above all, companion. For when the self realizes its selfhood as a living testament to loving choices, the entity receives the greatest gift of all: true friendship, true companionship. This is not to say that an entity whose self is one’s best friend will ever seem impeccable, but to say that friendship and trustful companionship must begin with the self with all of its self-perceived errors. In accepting this friendship, the pores of the spiritual skin open to drink in the elixir of felt, palpable love. When you are friends with yourself, you can relax into an aloneness which retains the comfort of true friendship.

May we speak further, my sister?

We are eager to surrender to service, but we know how limited we are and have the fear that we cannot succeed, that we’ll run out of the food of love and energy to serve. How can we address this?

As a spirit you need not food. As an entity in third density, respect for the incarnated self suggests an overwhelming love for that sheep which must be fed so that it may sit in perfect fullness of being and allow the voice of spirit to flow through without diminishing or exhausting the third-density, manifested self.

Is there a further question?

How can I learn to love and accept myself fully when I see in myself so many imperfections?

I am Q’uo. We do not find it difficult to love your self. We gaze at your courage as you walk in spiritual darkness, making choices by faith alone. We are deeply moved by the bravery of those who choose to express manifestation when it seems risky and almost hopeless.

The solution to perceived lack of perfection is so simple that it escapes notice. This third-density experience was designed expressly so that perfection would be quite improbable. It is in the furnace that brittle steel is tempered until it becomes flexible, supple and strong. The third-density spirit learns in the furnace of self-perceived fire, the fire of ever ongoing, never decreasing imperfection. Were an entity to express perfection in this, your density, such an one would be responsible to all to whom that incarnation became known. Such a responsibility is beyond the intention of your Higher Self at this moment. The imperfections of which you speak are your links to those to whom you wish to offer heartfelt love.

There is one state in which perfection may be well realized, and that is the sitting in the presence of the infinite Creator, the great original Thought or logos that is love. That perfection does you great good. When you are in tabernacle with the Infinite One, there you may be fed the infinite perfection that is love. When you open your eyes, retain that sharing of perfection. Remember at each moment this infinite perfection, and allow it to make resonant, deep, wide and spacious your perceptions of the specifically limited and often misleading events, entities, relationships and occurrences of your relativistic time/space continuum. Perfection does not aid, except when embodied in third-density entities; that is, it does not aid the self or others. This furnace of incarnation is that which burns away the dross. Although the heart of self is always perfect, the incarnated manifestation of self is useful, more and more, as the self perceives the harsh but meaningful, halting steps of will led by faith alone.

We speak to you from a density wherein we approach what you might accept as perfection; however, were we in the third density, we would have become a gambler—nothing more, nothing less. Your self gambles that, in spite of all self-perceived failures, the self will not be afraid or bow to indecision but will choose to love—again, nothing more and nothing less. Whether you perceive the self as successful or unsuccessful, perfect or imperfect, the intention will burn away the dross of which you are so aware. If you can find the courage to proceed in hope of expressing love, then you shall be as perfect as one may hope to be within the dust-laden confusion of perceptions of your illusion. Do not be deceived by the perceptions of the senses or the intellect, both of which were designed to embrace the illusion to the exclusion of all things absolute.

May we answer further, my sister?

Thank you very much, Q’uo. I have one more brief question. I need to wait. I think I will have further questions. I will go over what you said to me sometime tomorrow and then talk to you again, because I don’t want to ask you to repeat. I have lost too much already.

I have one very brief question. As I relaxed and stopped trying to get all of K’s words, as she is signing what Carla is channeling, 1 there were many times when I felt that I was getting the material without lip-reading and that it was coming in telepathically; not in words the way I channel Aaron, but picking up concepts telepathically. Is it possible that I was hearing the words, only telepathically, when I relaxed and stopped trying to lip-read?

I am Q’uo. You may perhaps hear our laughter. Yes, my sister, we are those known by many names, but above all, [as] messengers of love. As social memory complexes, we may speak to any entity which is tuned to our frequency. You are indeed a sensitive instrument, and we are having difficulty keeping this instrument [Carla] from grinning like a fool because we are so happy; we laugh in joy. We thank you, my sister, for the pleasure of communicating with your beloved self.

I am Q’uo. We feel that this is sufficient for this working, and at this moment would leave this instrument and this group in the love and the light of the one infinite Creator. We bid you Adonai. We are known to you as the principle, Q’uo.

I’ve been working to learn to value being as opposed to doing. It’s very important to me because my physical abilities are more and more limited. Do you have suggestions on how I can best proceed in this line of seeking?

I find it a great blessing to have the privilege of being with you tonight and to speak to your questions. I might remark before we start that the light emanating from this room is brilliant, and I find it very beautiful. I remarked to Barbara and Carla earlier that I am not hampered by restraints of time or space and truly can experience the light of this room at any time I choose, regardless of whether Barbara is using her senses. However, even though she perceives differently than I through her eyes and is not seeing the light but the faces, by experiencing while she experiences, I can perceive the effect of the energy of this room on her energy and have still deeper experience of the force of it. Thus, I can see this group without using Barbara’s senses; but with her senses added, I profoundly feel the energy bursting forth.

Carla, we are looking at your question about being versus doing, and I’m afraid there’s something you do not quite understand here. In being, you are doing. This comes back to this same truth I shared above. I see you as light—just that. Each of you radiates a very beautiful and unique pattern of light. When you are being in the most pure way possible for you, you allow that universal energy to flow through you and out so that you become charged with the love of the universe, with the love of God. Then the light that channels through you is enhanced by your own inner energy so that there are truly two sources of light. You are each a spark of God. Picture the small ember and picture the large bonfire. Yet this ember has so much power, is so unlimited, that it, itself, is its own source as well as a channel for the universal source. What more important thing can you do, what deeper way can you serve, than to magnify that love and light, simply to allow yourself to be a channel for that love and light by being? Do you imagine that you are more of a channel for that love when you are physically active than when you are physically quiet? So the distinction is not so clear as you are making it, not so strong as you are making it.

It does not work the other way. In doing you are not always channeling that love and light so clearly; rather, you are using your energy, feeling that something must be done, that you in yourself are not sufficient. In a sense, this is what Q’uo was just speaking to Barbara about: beginning to understand that you are unlimited and that anything that flows through you is enhanced. As you allow this energy flow, the doing becomes simply another way of being. But as long as it’s doing just for doing’s sake, much of the light is lost.

Would you like further clarification of this before I go on?

What different choices can I make? Can you clarify for me what you feel I have to choose between? I feel when people write me, I want to give them something they can hold and hear.

There are two things happening here simultaneously, Carla. One is that you do find it a joy to be able to serve others in such a way, and yet at times you push yourself beyond your comfortable physical limits. There is a certain difference in giving out of joy and in feeling a very small sense of, “I should do this.” Can you see all the judgment in that “should”? It does not negate that aspect of you that wants to serve, but both voices are speaking at the same time: the “I want to” and the “I should.” Because of the historical associations within this incarnation for the “I should,” there is a churning of the inner energy.

Barbara spoke to you earlier about my description last Thursday of the ways energy flows through you, the ways that you are channel for the energy of God, of the universe. As soon as that small “I should” comes into it, it is like a twisting of the energy within your body so that it becomes a tumult within and doesn’t flow through in the same way. What I’m describing here is, very simply, the way I see the patterns of energy and light; but your experience of this non-flow is as a churning in the stomach, perhaps, or some increased physical pain. There is a sense of tension. Can you begin to separate the “I want to” and the joy of that intended service from the “I should”—to notice that very quiet “I should”? It’s very quiet, just a whisper; but it’s enough.

The more aware you become of that “I should,” the more you can laugh at it and say, “Well, here comes the ‘I should’ again!” When you can laugh at it, you can greet it with so much less judgment, and then the energy continues to flow through you and there is no distortion of that energy. The “I should” is the doing, and the “I aspire to” is the being. Can you see that? The conflict is not in what to do, but in the way in which you do it. When the “I should” pushes you beyond your physical limits, there can develop the build-up of resentment and some accompanying pain.

You are human, and you are not expected to be perfect. While in a human form in this incarnation, there are emotions. To want to get rid of the emotional body is a non-acceptance of the self, because the emotional body is an essential part of the incarnate self. So what you are being given here is another opportunity to look at the emotional body and embrace it, not to hate that aspect of yourself. Each of you needs to purify yourself into that spiritual body and to move further along the spiritual path that you are on; and that’s easy when you are not in an incarnation. The incarnation offers the opportunity to practice when such embracing is more challenging. Do you look at the physical body and say, “This is gross and I don’t want it,” or do you attempt to love it? And it’s much harder to learn to love the emotional part of the body complex.

I speak here to all four of you. Can you each see the ways that you’ve learned to accept the physical body more completely than the emotional body? It is harder, but until you’ve learned to accept all of that emotional energy in yourselves, you cannot accept it in others. That is what you’re feeling. I keep asking Barbara to honor the incarnation. You cannot learn unconditional love, compassion, and forgiveness as easily while as a spirit, because there is not the same force of the emotions on the spiritual plane. So here is the chance to learn.

Speaking again to you, Carla, can you see that it is not a choice of how to answer or whether to answer these readers’ letters, but how to relate to that small “I should” more lovingly so that you can begin to relate from the full being, harmonizing all its four bodies? Once you have begun to do that—not getting rid of but accepting even the “I should”—you realize there is nothing of which to be gotten rid. When it is no longer necessary it falls away. That last idea is not original to me; I quote Q’uo. And that “I should” will fall away! It is still necessary now because you haven’t learned to accept it. At that point when it falls away, you will understand that there is truly no difference between being and doing. The doing in its purest form is a way of being; and when you are being, you are always doing.

Do you have further questions?

Yes. I just don’t know how best to serve. You say, “When you are being you are always doing,” but I often can’t do anything. Can you speak to this?

I would ask one question before I answer this. Is your doubt based in not knowing in which way you would best serve then or in the physical pain that comes when you push yourself to respond, or is it in both?

The first.

If it is acceptable to you, Carla, I will address both, as there is also a physical burden that is being put upon your body.

I ask you first to look very closely and see the places where the desire to serve another through giving them something to hold on to comes from a pure place of love within your heart, and where the desire to serve is to alleviate the sense of unworthiness. Both create a physical drain on your body by the sense of “I should” that I just spoke of, by any small feelings that create some resentment. Can you see that both exist?

I would like you all to visualize your energy as I see it. When you are feeling loving and allowing your own energy to be channeled to others without distortion, there is still minimal distortion, the distortion which is essential to the human form because as a human there could not be a complete absence of distortion. When you each allow that energy to be channeled within the distortion, the pattern of energy I see coming from the body looks like the concentric circles that appear when a pebble is thrown into a pond, each one of the circles radiating out. When there is any anger, greed, resentment, hate, visually what I see are sharp spikes like a child’s image of the sun. When there is a mixture of love and resentment, I see both. This is why, when you are in a room with another being and feel the presence of that being’s anger, that one need not be talking to you for you to know that anger. When you feel the presence of love, there need be no words. You simply walk into the room and you feel it. The anger and love are tangible. Now visualize, if you will, what happens when those spikes of anger or fear hit these concentric circles of love. The sharp tips are softened, gently, each time they make contact, until they slowly wear down and smooth out into a circle.

When I speak of being versus doing, one of the best ways that you can serve another being is simply in sending out those concentric circles of light which will soften another being’s anger or fear. You are in a position, Carla, where people are writing to you, so it’s very difficult to send that love out through the mail and feel assured that they will feel it. You can send it out and know some beings are capable of feeling it. But a simple few words from you, “I love you. Thank you for your letter. Thank you,” would be felt by some beings but others would misunderstand it. You are right, there.

You must ask yourself two questions here: “What am I responding to? What is their need and what am I sending out?” When there is any feeling of resentment or pressure or even uncertainty about answering that letter, some of that is received not as a softening circle but as small spikes. I am not suggesting that your letters are not loving and skillful, but you must really look carefully for that small “I should” I just spoke of, or any physical exhaustion, so that this letter is created with a loving desire to serve.

The second question is, “What is their need?” You know that you cannot learn for another, yet that is a large part of your pain because you have so much wisdom. It frustrates you that you share that wisdom at times and others can’t hear you because of their own fears.

You ask, is it unskillful to want to reach out in love to these souls that turn to you for help? First be sure that your response is purely that of love. If there is any resistance to replying, simply put it aside for later that day or for another day and then know that the response does come from that pure place of love within you—a desire to serve—and wears as minimal a distortion as you can manage. Ask yourself, “In what way am I trying to change them, to make them hear me? Am I speaking with a voice of love and reassurance? If I speak with love and they can’t hear me, is that okay?” Remind yourself that you cannot learn for them. You can open a door but you can’t push them through.

Carla, put quite simply, you have a tendency to want to solve others’ problems for them; and this is one of the things you find most difficult, because you know that is not something you can do. Can you begin to relate to the source of that need to solve others’ problems, to take away another’s pain? Can you begin to make yourself so comfortable with your own pain, and here I don’t mean physical pain, but with the pain of your own existence, that you no longer need to take away their pain? Can you see the lesson in this for you—that as you find a deeper acceptance for yourself, your response to others will become increasingly skillful; and that instead of needing to change things you will help them to find a deeper acceptance for themselves?

Do you understand and is there a further question?

Yes, but I have to think about it first.

Is there a further question?

Yes. I have always had low physical and emotional energy. What do I need to learn and how can I work to heal that in myself and serve better? It makes me angry that I can’t do everything I wish to do. Then I feel guilty because I’m angry. Help!

I perceive a normal amount of energy within you but it is partially blocked below the heart chakra by the anger, so the energy flow is restricted. So let’s talk about anger. There is the misunderstanding of assuming one has only two choices in dealing with anger, or any heavy emotion: that one express it and talk about it, or that one suppress it. There is a third choice, and that’s just to notice it. When you notice something quietly and touch it with your gentleness, very often it dissolves. It simply doesn’t have the same solidity, the same hold over you. It’s not necessary to practice your anger, to express it verbally or through such a practice as throwing pillows. This practice, in a sense, enhances the anger. It does allow the being to recognize it; and for some beings who have a great deal of trouble recognizing it, it may be used as a useful first step. I prefer simply treating it as one treats the stubbed toe.

Will you try an experiment with me here? Picture yourself sitting on a mountaintop. It is a beautiful day. There is a clear view. The sun is shining with a lovely warmth, as a warm cloak on your shoulders, and a cool breeze touches your face. In the distance you see a cloud, and then turn your back to it and go back to enjoy the view. That cloud approaches, but you’re totally unaware of its presence until suddenly it sweeps over the top of the mountaintop, enclosing you completely within it, shutting off the sun. You can’t see your hands six inches in front of your face. The air feels cold and clammy. There is a sense of panic, thinking, “How will I find the path to get down?” There is a sense of anger, of wanting this cloud to go away. Can you feel that need to push it away, feel how hard it is to just sit there and let it be there? Can you feel how strong the aversion is to it?

Come back again to the sunny mountaintop and the same cloud in the distance. Enjoy the view and notice the cloud: “There’s a cloud coming… umm, looks like it will be here in ten or fifteen minutes. Well, here it comes… another minute or two… It’s a pretty big cloud, too, and very dense looking. I think it will be here for half an hour, maybe even more. Perhaps I should put my jacket on… and here it comes.” And it encloses you completely again; and again you can’t see your hands in front of your face, and you do miss the warm sun and the view, and it does feel cold and clammy. But you saw it coming and you know how long it will be there. Can you see how much easier it is to simply sit with it and allow its presence, that there is no longer a struggle with it; it’s just a cloud. Can you all feel the difference?

Your anger is like that. It becomes solid when you struggle with it, when there’s a sense of needing it or needing to make it go away or to do anything special with it. When you can simply allow it as a cloud passing through and let go of your struggle with it, then there’s no need to react to it. Certain conditions prompt the anger to arise, it’s noticed, and it dissolves and goes its way. It’s not the anger that’s a problem, it’s your reaction to the anger. That is what solidifies the anger.

So how do you work with this? It is truly just a skill that may be developed, and it has two parts. One is noticing the arising of anger as quickly as you can, each time it comes, even beginning to notice the situations that may provoke anger and saying, “I wonder if anger will arise next?” And the second is noticing your reaction to the anger, asking, “Is there judgment against it? Is there hatred of it? Or can I simply hold it, holding myself in my arms as I would mentally with that stubbed toe? Can I respond to this anger the way I would respond to a child who came inside crying and saying, ‘A bully pushed me down’? Would I tell that child, ‘Well, don’t be angry,’ or would I more skillfully hold that child in my arms and say, ‘I see how angry you’re feeling,’ and reassure it that it’s still loved despite the anger, that the anger has nothing to do with its lovability, with its soul’s perfection?”

It is so easy for all of you to have compassion for others but not for yourselves. So I ask you, can you begin to relate to this anger in a more open and loving way? I am not suggesting here that it’s skillful to walk around angry; but anger does arise, just like clouds do come over. As long as you are here in a physical body, there are going to be feelings. Even the most highly evolved being incarnate in a human body still has feelings but there is no longer attachment or aversion to those feelings. There is no longer a need to get rid of them or to struggle with them. And it is through that relaxation of the struggle that one finds a deeper peacefulness. Anger and love are not mutually exclusive. It all depends on how you relate to the anger.

In purely practical terms, I would suggest that it would be useful to play a game with yourself to help you loosen up and relate more lovingly and openly to anger. Take a notebook with you, a small notebook, and for a day, or several days as seems practical to you, every time you see anger arise just jot down a line. Be a cat at a mouse-hole and think, “Aha! There’s anger; I caught it; I see it this time. I’m getting faster. I can see it faster and faster.” See if you can lighten up a little, “Oh my, here’s anger!”

The second thing I would suggest that might be helpful is to begin to observe the pattern of how you relate to your anger—to start to note, every time you do note anger arise, that little voice that says, “I shouldn’t be angry,” and ask that voice, “Why shouldn’t I?” There is a big difference [between] using your anger as a reason to act unskillfully toward another and in simply feeling anger.

Do you have further questions?

[There were no questions at this time.]

I thank you all for the opportunity to share your love and your light. Please know how much my love is with you, and that the love and courage that you bring to your work is truly a light and an inspiration to all beings on all planes. That is all.

  1. Barbara is deaf. ↩