Yesterday’s talk from Q’uo didn’t record on my tape recorder, and I got just what little I was able to lip-read. I had meditated on the content I’d gotten and felt Q’uo’s presence, felt Q’uo knew what I did or didn’t understand. I didn’t want to ask Q’uo to take responsibility for me or my questions, but I also didn’t want to ask for repetition. Would Q’uo reshare whatever they feel I missed, that they shared last night?

I am Q’uo. I greet you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator, Whose presence permeates all and is all that there is.

My sister, there is no such thing as repetition in responding to the needs of a consciousness, because each entity is at this moment a new and different person, unlike the entity of any other moment. This is why history, especially personal history, is largely irrelevant to the great work of living and loving in this moment, just this one moment.

We would speak of the saying of the one known as Jesus, that saying which he gave to his disciples: “Feed my sheep.” 1 Many are the loving servants of the one Creator who are eager to feed other sheep but who do not realize that first they also need food, not the food of the earthly vehicle alone, but far more importantly, the bread and wine of spiritual companionship. There is a great companion which awaits all who heed her heart; that is, the first and second densities of your sphere. The very earth beneath your feet is alive and pulses with undiminished, infinite love. Each rock, each portion of grass, meadow, or pine needle beneath your feet connects a third-density entity with the heart of the Grandmother Earth. How this being loves you! The friendship of the elementals of earth, air, wind and fire; the devas of plants of all kinds; the ever-rising consciousness of animal forms, all wait to embrace the one who stops to pay attention and to take comfort in the cathedral of what you call nature. When an entity allows itself to admit the entrance of these divine and loving spirits, the air is filled with cherubim, the trees with the laughter of the seraphim, and angels ascend and descend in every fire, in every storm, in every calm, in all beams of living sunlight. Here lies food indeed for the spirit.

We would move further and speak of another very true and real companion. Many are aware of this entity as Jesus the Christ. Others find it helpful to think of this Christed energy as the living Holy Spirit of the Christ, which speaks to the world yesterday, today, and forever. Imagine the spirit form of the one known as Jesus beside you and mentally take the hand that is offered. Thus, palm to palm, heart to heart, love divine to love in manifestation—a companionship of infinite trust, infinite mercy, infinite kindness, and infinite love is born and forged anew every moment. The need for companions along the way seems to the third-density eye impossible to be met when one is alone in the way in which it has chosen to walk the path of love and service to others. Yet every zephyr of breeze, every silent bird, and all that the senses experience are your loving companions; and the fellowship of the Christ, however it is perceived, is nearer than your breathing, closer than your hands or feet, infinitely more intimate than any third-density companion. So, in any weather of life, in storm or calm, it is the third-density entity which must call to remembrance in each present moment the very present help and companionship that those who are yet asleep do not find themselves perceiving. The love and caring is always there. It is the entity who must remember to open the door to that friendship, reach out the hand to that love which is so palpable one could almost imagine the incarnative form of the Christed One.

Especially when outward circumstances seem murky and turgid with heavy cares, the seeker will find those cares lifted so easily away simply by remembering to reach out the hand to the friendship of the sanctified Christ. Now that sanctified presence is truly within each seeker, as is all the universe. You are the creator of your particular creation, and co-Creator with infinite Intelligence of that which is experienced and how it is experienced. Although you cannot be another’s creation, you cannot help but be the creator of your own. So, in making the choices from moment to moment, do not let your heart flag or falter because you are alone; for there is companionship more real than the manifested forms of your density, ever waiting for your simple recognition and acceptance. How loved all entities are! Yet without the intention to reach out in trust for that love, an entity may walk forever in a fog of self-created solitude.

I am Q’uo, and would ask if there is a further question at this time.

Thank you. Q’uo, I’m aware of a desire in myself to serve that seems to come from two places. When I sense that the desire to serve comes from any place of ego or self, it makes me pull back in fear that ego will distort the work. Then that fear touches and distorts the honest places of loving and worshipful desire to serve. It confuses me. When there’s fear, although I hear Aaron, I doubt even that. Yet when there’s love and the full experience of God and of that love from Aaron that surrounds me, I know no doubt. Aaron has talked about this at length with me, but I wonder if there’s anything you would add that would help me to understand and balance these forces?

I am Q’uo. We would speak of two minds and two hearts. The first mind is the mental mind. In it there can only be mentally feared obstacles. For one who is an adventurer within its own mind, the barriers of fear do not arise. However, the mind that is mental deals almost exclusively with the relativistic illusion in which each now experiences and enjoys the dance of incarnation. Thusly, although one may be mentally curious, one cannot use that mentality to plunge into that abyss which must be accepted in order to reach the second mind.

The second mind is often called the heart. In the open heart is stored the true mind which begets wisdom and compassion, which is as infinite and effortless as the love of an open heart. Many things, however, occur during an incarnation which may tend to cause an entity to erect defensive barriers in order that this precious heart may not be wounded more than it already is. Thusly, in order to open the second heart—the heart of wisdom—one must first gaze at the erected barriers in acceptance and love for the self that needed those barriers, allowing them to remain until they are no longer needed. Then the heart may open, and wisdom may be fearlessly received and equally fearlessly manifested forth.

It is said in the holy work called the Bible by the one known as Jesus, “I am the vine, you are the branches.” 2 Let us look at I am. I Am is the true name of the infinite One. I Am. Say this in your heart: “I Am. I Am with you always. I Am the way. I Am the truth. I Am the life.” 3 Each is I Am. Thusly, each open heart receives, reveals and manifests the fruit of that great root of Consciousness, the I Am of all that there is. When the branches of the vine surrender their self-importance in an humble awareness that without the root I Am, their I Am would be dust and ashes, then the branches bloom, flower and bear fruit and seed to replenish the earth inexhaustibly.

Let us now speak of the first and the second heart. This, too, is helpful in finding and allowing the release of fear; for in the first heart there is wisdom, but there is only the perceived awareness of the nurturing constancy that is love. The first heart often attempts to bloom, to nurture, and to give simply because it is full and those about it need replenishing and filling. The first heart, though wise, when full because of its unstinting compassion, is also foolish. This folly is beautiful to us, and a testament to the incredible generosity and power of the open heart. Yet there is a second heart, and that heart may be conceived to be—whether we speak of the male or female form—the womb of life. That heart moves in fullness with no need to serve, no need to do anything other than be full. The second heart is the womb, ever pregnant with love, ever giving birth out of fullness into that which is actually full. Thus, the second heart responds not because of the needs of others, but because it, like sunshine, must propagate its light and give birth ever and ever and ever to its own I Am, which—as the womb of this second heart is more and more maturely experienced—becomes more and more nearly the undistorted, uncreated logos, which is love.

I am Q’uo. Is there a further question, my sister?

I have no further questions at this time. Thank you, Q’uo.

I am Q’uo. We thank you, my sister.

Now we would speak just a moment about that which is called patience. How boring to be patient, to wait and to watch, when the heart leaps like a deer and wishes to fly higher than the highest mountain in joy, in radiance, in awareness of perfect love! Yet the will of entities in incarnation is made perfect, not by its use, but by the surrender of its use to the will of the one infinite Creator. In your illusion it seems there is a passage of time. Outside of this illusion, all times are one, all times simultaneous. Yet within the illusion, darkness broods over the mind and over the heart, and sometimes the night watches seem to go on forever. Yet it is in the darkness of midnight that the messenger of realization, illumination, and love comes ever so quietly, walking on feet of I Am, I Am, I Am… silent feet that cannot be heard unless the heart is watching and praying and waiting.

This is the use of patience—not time to be spent quickly, but time to treasure that expectancy that the bride and bridegroom feel as they wait for the wedding day that has already been set. Within an incarnation, the spirit has many wedding days, many glorious feasts; but those feasts are punctuations—gifts, we may say—which give the commas and the periods to the long sentences of expectation. Thusly, it is well to give great respect to the practice of waiting, watching patiently in complete faith that, although the seeker does not know the next wedding day, yet it is known and it will come. In this joyful readiness lies a fearlessness which does not quail at the darkness of the hour or the solitude of the night watch. Rather, it waits in a patient faith, in a honed edge of will to listen, to surrender, and to be that I Am which is the wedding present of the consummation of the present moment.

We would leave this instrument at this time, thanking each for the beauty of your vibrations. It has been a great joy for us to be with you, to be called to your group by the intensity and beauty of your calling and your needs. We hope we may have offered helpful opinions, but as always, ask each to remember to cast aside anything that does not speak to the personal truth. We are of the principle known to you as Q’uo. Adonai. Adonai. I am Q’uo. I leave you in the love and in the light of the infinite Creator.

Last week, Aaron, you spoke of promptings to serve coming from the emotional body. What comes to the mental body is a pure desire to love. You’ve previously spoken of imbalances between these two and of bringing them into harmony. This morning in meditation I began to see the opposite side of the above. I felt the mental body was the one blocking the true loving emotion, that when I enter that tabernacle it feels like the emotional body opens and any separation comes from the mind. Will you speak further about this?

My greetings and love to you all. I am Aaron. It is a joy to be with you this morning, to feel the love and light that emerge from this group; and I thank the principle of Q’uo for that which has been shared. There is great comfort in hearing the same thing repeated by different voices. It is part of trust, because truly there is nothing I can say to any of you that you don’t already know. But our words reassure you and help you trust the wisdom of your own hearts.

You ask about these bodies. You understood this morning, as you thought that question, that you were asking partially in reference to Kabir’s powerful poem 4, where he makes the statement, “How hard it is to feel that love with all our four bodies. Those who try to be reasonable about it fail.”

You are consciously aware of the concepts about which I speak and the experiences that underlay those concepts; but to some degree, perhaps, we don’t share the same vocabulary. Let me speak first for a moment, simply establishing the vocabulary that I use so you can hear this without misunderstanding. Please feel free to substitute the labels with which you are familiar with the labels that I put on the experience.

There are four bodies: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. In your incarnation you deal with all four of them. The astral body is that which you experience when you are not within this physical body but are in the spirit plane between lifetimes and experiencing only the emotional, mental and spiritual bodies. These two—the physical and astral bodies—are what you are used to referring to here as a third-density being.

Slowly the emotional body drops away. To say it in your terminology, you graduate from this third density. There is still somewhat of an emotional body, but there is no reaction to that body. It is merely felt as that cloud passing by that I spoke of last night; and you don’t need to do anything but observe that emotional mass appear and disappear. As you move beyond the causal plane, the emotional body drops off completely and there are only the mental and spiritual bodies. Here the being is learning a sense of wisdom for which thought is still necessary.

Yes, there are two kinds of wisdom: that which comes from the heart and that which comes from the mind. As Q’uo has just pointed out, they are simply two levels of the same way of knowing. Slowly this mental body also drops away as it is no longer needed, as you move back into that core heart of the Creator of which Q’uo has just spoken. Thus, the being moving into what you refer to as seventh density moves more purely to being the pure spiritual body, which is the soul. That is all the soul is, the spiritual body with all the rest, not discarded, because that implies an aversion, but simply fallen away, as you shed your clothes when the sun is hot on a summer day.

Coming back to where you are now, in this third density, as you begin to understand, no one of these four bodies is more mature or less mature than another. Each body serves its purpose. What you experienced this morning when you felt the heart open so completely and then experienced fear of that opening was neither the isolated mental nor emotional body.

Fear is an emotion, and fear comes from many places. It is not that the emotional body is less mature but that the emotional body is less accepted; that while at some deep levels of meditation you are aware of the usefulness of moving beyond conceptual thought, you do not condemn yourself for thinking. But you condemn yourself so often for feeling, until habitually you build up a fear of the emotions. Essentially, you have backed yourself into that tunnel we’ve talked about so often.

I have talked in another channeling 5 of a tunnel, a very safe place; and you are comfortable in this womb. Perhaps you will wish to think of it as a cave with only one end open, and across that end you’ve put strands of cobwebs to protect yourself from that which you feel will harm you, to protect yourself from another’s anger and also your own anger, to protect yourself from the pain of feeling separation, to protect yourself from grief. And each strand that you have put up has served a purpose, because you felt you needed that protection. And yet, it is dark in your tunnel and on the outside it is light; and you’ve reached a place where you want to allow in that light. Can you feel the brutality if one were to reach in a hand and tear out all of those cobwebs, all of those strands, and how you would cower in terror against tearing all of that protection away?

Yet gently and with full awareness, you can reach out, lift one strand at a time, and examine it. What is this fear? Have I still need of this? Whence is it arising? How long must I hold on to it? Seeing a strand, perhaps of anger or greed, one notes how that greed or anger arises out of fear and out of a sense of separation. One sees the ways that fear has enhanced the sense of separation. The self, which then perceives itself to be separate, feels a need to protect and allows the arising of anger or greed as its protection: “What if my needs are not met? What if I’m harmed?”

But this can only come from a sense of self and other self. Where there is no separation, there can be no anger. Can you begin to see how fear leads to that sense of separation which leads to the first distortion of self-awareness? This distortion provokes one not yet fully immersed in separation but experiencing a distinction between self and other self to cultivate that distortion which first allows fears. Observing, you can begin to understand how this process works in yourself. Then as fear or separation arise, you can gently lift that strand of anger from where it blocks the light, look at it, and ask yourself, “Do I still need this or am I able now to put it aside?” Always do this with gentleness and never with force, never asking the self to be what it is not ready to be, but accepting the self as it is so that the being will always be challenged, but always simultaneously accepted and loved. In this way the emotional body is not something with which one fights, but is part of your integral, harmonious self.

You asked me to speak further about the distortion of service-to-others that grows out of fear in the emotional body. When there is a sense of the self’s not being adequate so that there comes a feeling of needing to do something to prove oneself adequate, to soothe that pain, then the service in itself becomes distorted. You experienced this morning the love of that spirit that was known in his last incarnation as Jesus, and you felt the strength of that loving energy flowing through with absolutely no distortion. Last night I said that in human form it is impossible to allow the energy to flow completely distortion-free. This is because as soon as there is a concept of service-to-others, there is a self and an other. And thus, we come back to that fact that self-awareness is a distortion. Ra calls it the first distortion and I would agree with this. Excuse me, Ra calls free will the first distortion—potentiation of an active Creator whose nature is Logos, or love. 6 But in order to love, there must be that which is loved; and that takes self-awareness, so in a sense we’re saying the same thing in a different way.

If you will, picture a river flowing with an absolutely clean and sandy bed, and with a strong current. Somewhere down the stream place one stone, just large enough to break the surface, and see the ripples that break around it. Let’s call that first stone self-awareness. The current flows around it with its full force, and yet there is a small distortion in that current. From self-awareness grow so many doubts and fears: comparisons; competitiveness; and thoughts like, “Am I good enough? Am I acceptable and loved?” Suddenly we have a whole load of stones thrown into this river, and now the water flows through in many ripples. There is still a current; but if you were to float a stick downstream of that very first stone, it would float smoothly down the stream. If you put a stick just upstream of that first stone and watch it, you see how it deviates around that stone and loses some of its direction and thrust. Now let that stick move downstream to where all these stones are and see how it swirls around in little whirlpools.

Thus, when you are lost in a distortion of any sort, your energy does not flow freely. In the meditation you felt that entity known as Jesus’ energy flowing unimpeded and enhancing all energy that came into it. All separating emotions, even love, create distortion and turbulence. The mental body quiets that turbulence through reason, and yet that reason separates the entity from the strength of the river’s flow. It is as if one, seeing all those rocks in the river’s bed, erected a dam within the rocks, diverting the water so that there was no longer turbulence from the rocks but impeding the full flow of the water.

Each distortion must be worked with back and forth, always with gentleness and compassion, always asking the self, “What am I being offered to learn? How can I work with these fears, these forces within me, more skillfully? How can I gently begin to lift out each stone, to move to that perfect awareness that there is no separation, that this self that is aware is not a separate self but only part of the force of the universe?” The fully evolved soul returns to the fire whence it came; but it returns, not as the tiny ember that it began as, but as a brilliant sun in itself, enhancing and strengthening the power of that original sun.

Do you wish me to speak about this further, or are there other questions?

I have no more questions about this, Aaron, thank you. I don’t know if others do or not.

With regard to working skillfully with anger, I understand the concept of noticing, feeling and allowing anger to pass as it comes up in the day-to-day life. I’m not sure what to do with the angers that have been there for many years—the angers that I can tap into at any moment just by recalling any of many situations. In each case, I suppose the anger has to do with my feeling that I have been wronged somehow; and I know that what I need to do is to be able to accept and forgive myself fully, as well as whatever other person is involved in the situation. But this seems to me to be the work of an entire lifetime, at least, and leaves me feeling pretty hopeless about dealing in any significant way with those long-term angers. Can you comment on this?

You say that this seems to be the work of a lifetime, and that leaves you feeling hopeless; and yet, this is the healing for which you took birth, because in past lifetimes you have held anger in much the same way, learning slowly to let it go, reaching an understanding that anger is just anger. And now you’ve arrived at a point where you understand the usefulness of moving beyond that anger, of letting it drop away, and it is the work of a lifetime; and yet you are working on it and making progress. You are in that tunnel that I just spoke of with all these strands across. And when present anger arises, you’ve learned skillfully to look at that and not necessarily need to attach it across the entrance. But there are still all those strands from the past.

I suggest that it would be useful in meditation, as you feel the courage and readiness, to lift each strand and examine it. Don’t start with the heaviest ones. Build up your strength with the lighter ones. As you recall some moment of intense anger where the self felt attacked in some way by another self and felt that it was wronged, just gently look at that strand and the feelings that came, asking yourself, “What is this anger? Why is it here? What was its function? Do I still need it, or am I ready to set it down?” Always know that if you feel vulnerable and afraid, you may put it back again [into place] if you need to, trusting that as you grow you will have less and less need to do that.

Each of you is here to learn to love yourself and others more fully, to learn faith and love. The anger is quite simply one of your learning tools. It’s very easy to love unconditionally in a situation where there is nothing that arises to provoke any feeling but love. But how do you love when you are provoked to defend yourself, when that separation arises? Can you continue to love when noticing the fears, when noticing the separation and how anger arises from that? As you become more skillful with doing that with each small resentment that arises in your present life, you will find the faith and love to go back [to loving in the moments of larger resentment].

There is one more thing here. You say you know this is what you need to do. I feel a sense of judgment in that. There is some sense of your feeling that until you do, you are not quite adequate or there’s something wrong with you that needs to be corrected. You do not need to do this; rather, as you grow you allow yourself to do this. Can you see the difference? Allow yourself to be where you are, always reaching for the next step, but reaching out of a sense of love, not out of a sense of despising that which is. It is essential to treat all of this within you with love, because your contempt will only further enhance the sense of separation and further fragment the self into what’s acceptable and what’s unacceptable.

Do you understand, and do you have further questions?

Thank you, Aaron, I think I understand. I may have more questions at a later time.

I would like briefly to add one thing, which is to emphasize that I share the concern of what Q’uo has said about patience. Can you picture yourselves swimming up the stream in a river? You know that eventually you will come to the source of that river. But for now you are just enjoying the swimming, noticing the brightly colored fish that swim beneath you, feeling the coolness of the water and the sun on your back, stopping to rest when you need to and then swimming again. As you move further upstream the river begins to narrow a little, and suddenly you start to have a sense that this river is coming from someplace and that perhaps you will get to its source.

Now, you stop your strokes and look up, wondering how much further; but as you stop there, the current pushes you back and you lose your momentum. You start to swim again. The closer you get to the source, the fresher the water feels and the stronger the energy of that source. When you start to look around and say, “How much further? I can’t wait to get there,” you lose some of the joy that you had before of just enjoying the water, enjoying that life in the water, the sensations of it on your body. This happens to all beings as they come closer to the source. It is not a fault, simply something of which you must be aware so that you can begin to notice the impatience and allow yourself to return to the joy of this incarnation, knowing that yes, you do come closer and closer to moving beyond the need for rebirth, to knowing your true Self in a deeper sense and connecting with the source of that love and light in a deeper sense. But that will be when it will be, and this is now. Cherish this now. It will not come again.

As there are no more questions, I wish to thank you all for sharing your loving presence with me. I cherish each and every one of you, and wish for each of you that you could grow to cherish yourselves as those loving spirits and friends that surround you cherish you. That is all.

  1. Holy Bible, John 21: 16, 17. ↩

  2. Holy Bible, John 15:5. ↩

  3. Holy Bible, Matthew 28:20, John 14:6. ↩

  4. The Kabir Book, poem 43. ↩

  5. November 21, 1990; unpublished; available from Deep Spring Center for Meditation and Spiritual Inquiry, 3455 Charing Cross Road, Ann Arbor, MI, 48108. ↩

  6. The Law of One, Book II, pp. 2-3, 54. ↩